Obatello Descending

I'm dealing with some issues so I'm turning it over to Ron who has managed to combine Othello with the Orpheus myth.

Sitting around waiting for some responses on various irons in the fire, I let my imagination wander around through stuff in my mind. After it tripped over Othello and stumbled into both versions of the Orpheus myth (both classic Greek and American black), it took over my fingers and cranked out this plotsum:

Obatello Descending takes place in a corrupt city built on an ancient swamp inhabited by parasites and deadbeats. Murder, double-dealing, equivocation, and theft from the public treasury occupy most of the primary inhabitants' time and energies. Scattered around the city are luxury palaces, Dionysian retreats, and offices of scammers, flim-flammers, corrupt lawyers, lobbyists, and other of Satan's spawn.

When not actively engaged in stealing from the general public, most of the major players in the city (all of whom come from other cities and regions and pretend to be important lawmakers) improve their skills at drinking, copulating, finger-pointing, pontificating, and balderdashing. Obatello, the main character, is the half-breed offspring of a profligate African reprobate and a clueless Midwestern brain donor. He holds advanced degrees in Plagiarism, Circumlocution, and Pretension.

Obatello is married to a failed Black Panther who graduated from Victimhood University with a master's degree in Whining, a product of the Sekund-Sitty slums, whose father was an orangutan and mother was a professional welfare dependent. The other main female character is a dangerous unindicted felon with tenuous but long-standing ties to a lying, cheating, randy, pasty-faced ex-politician. She is an aging, vicious, accomplished posturer smoldering with disappointment stemming from uppity blacks, transgressed class boundaries, infrequent and unfulfilling sex, betrayal, an ugly kid, and a serious case of cankles.

For reasons unknown to virtually everyone, Obatello has ascended sans bona fides or credentials to the seat of central power in the land and surrounded himself with a group of henchmen whose experiences have focused on thuggery, deception, vacillation, fraud, and treachery. His front men are practiced carnival barkers skilled in duplicity and obfuscation who act as though they are descendants of classical Greek chorus. Obatello's appearance in the national awareness was facilitated by a misplaced religious wingnut with visions of huge reparations for all descendants of African slaves and a gossip-mongering, self-appointed moral compass for drifty housewives.

Brother Jeralmighty, a husky-voiced, anti-Caucasian, vitriol-spitting, black "conjure man" inculcated in the young Obatello a permanent mistrust for all white people, including his white mother's parents, the people who raised him and tried to give him wholesome values. Mix in the beguiling influence of the witchy woman, Whorepa, and what results is a willing, if naïve, rock-star persona based loosely on the Black Orpheus myth, with echoes of spellbinding rhetoric, teflon birds that sleep on the wind, and snakes that leave their shed skins behind as manna for groupies to feast and fantasize on. Then add to all that a Marxist agenda and a bottomless pit of money to fund it from a billionaire whose goal is total eradication of justice, liberty, and freedom for the average citizen.

That said, one would anticipate a three-act 3-hour play complete with intrigue, hypocrisy, suspicion, murder, sex, gunplay, arson, drug addiction, and mounting economic disaster. However, as soon as the audience receives, in classic Tennessee-Williams fashion, the full introduction of characters and background, Obatello strides onto the stage amidst his full complement of flunkies and yes-men, stands between matching teleprompters, and announces his plans for improving the lives of everyone in the entire country through pure fucking magic.

At that moment, he is struck by the second stage booster of a Chinese rocket launching a death-ray satellite and transformed into a gray spot of grease on the basement floor of the theater. The standing ovation lasts for nearly an hour, and all in attendance agree that Obatello Descending is the most uplifting, inspiring, and satisfying comedy of the century.

I give it 5 stars and a resounding "Allllll-Righty, Then!"

I hope Ron doesn't ever start his own blog.

Monday Pun 3-15-2010

Sent to me by Mike.

Moishe Plotnik's Laundry

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners......

When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry.'

'Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered. 'How does that belong in Chinatown?'

He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking drycleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.'

The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.

The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?''

The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.'

Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?'

'It me, Me him!' replied the old man.

'Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moishe Plotnik?'

'It simple' said the old man. 'Many, many year ago I come to thes country. I standing in line at 'Documentation Center of Immiglation. Man in front of me was Jewish man from Poland.Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What your name?'

He say to her, 'Moishe Plotnik.'

Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'

I say, ...

The Great Reneger

From Woody.

And before you start, reneger is not racist. It is a bridge term.

Cards. to play a card that is not of the suit led when one can follow suit; break a rule of play.

From there it became to go back on one's word: He has reneged on his promise.

A lot of people are not seeing the change they thought they believed in.

Saturday Blonde Joke

From Dave.

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 98 mph.

"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel "Any cops following us?"

The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them. "Yeah, looks like it"

"Are his flashers on?"

The blonde turned around again...... Lemme see....

"Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup..."

Saturday Boobage 3-13-2010

AOTW 3-12-2010

Oh geez! Decisions. Decisions. I was thinking of giving it to Massa. After all, he did break the solemn US Navy Code by telling the world about tickling parties and snorkling. Sure, we did that all the time when out at sea but we all took a solemn oath not to ever talk about it to civilians. Keelhaul him!

But, no, there was a bigger asshole this week. Once again, I have to give it to Speaker Blinky. She said earlier this week that the Dims needed to pass the health care bill so they could find out what was in it.

It has come to this. We have politicians voting for bills sight unseen. The Founders would be weeping if they could witness what has become of our great republic. They would weep even more to see what a disgrace we have for Speaker of the House. They would shake their heads in wonder and shame at our affirmative action president.

I am at a loss for words other than saying, "Here's your award Speaker Blinky."

The Toyota Simulator

Go here.

From Tiger.

Who Knew

I read a post on another blog about the runaway Prius hitting 94 miles per hour. The post? "Who knew a Prius could go 94 miles per hour?"

Committing National Suicide

Years from now, historians will look back at what was once a great country and wonder why we decided to commit national suicide. They'll wonder why we went into such a frenzy of spending money we didn't have. They'll wonder why this happened with both parties. Both parties campaigned on fiscal responsibility, but as soon as they took over the gummint they did exactly what they accused the other party of doing. And they'll really be scratching their heads over why we refused to develop our own natural resources.

Jim DeMint wrote an op-ed about this. Thanks to CharlieB for sending this to me.

You'd think the Obama administration is busy enough controlling the banks, insurance companies and automakers, but thanks to whistleblowers at the Department of the Interior, we now learn they're planning to increase their control over energy-rich land in the West.

A secret administration memo has surfaced revealing plans for the federal government to seize more than 10 million acres from Montana to New Mexico, halting job- creating activities like ranching, forestry, mining and energy development. Worse, this land grab would dry up tax revenue that's essential for funding schools, firehouses and community centers.

Liberals wail about our dependence on foreign oil, but consistently come up with polices that make us even more dependent. This is but another.

President Obama could enact the plans in this memo with just the stroke of a pen, without any input from the communities affected by it.

"Stroke of the pen, law of the land. Pretty cool." Paul Begala during the Clinton administration. Of course. it's not very cool when a Republican does it.

At a time when our national unemployment rate is 9.7 percent, it is unbelievable anyone would be looking to stop job-creating energy enterprises, yet that's exactly what's happening.

These are liberals. That is what they do. Even the rat bastard commies in the Soviet Union developed their resources. Our rat bastard commies are dumber than the soviets.

The document lists 14 properties that, according to the document, "might be good candidates" for Mr. Obama to nab through presidential proclamation. Apparently, Washington bureaucrats believe it's more important to preserve grass and rocks for birdwatchers and backpackers than to keep these local economies thriving.

The cost of going green. This seems to be the conduct of Dimocrat presidents.

Using the Antiquities Act, President Carter locked up more land than any other president had before him, taking more than 50 million acres in Alaska despite strong opposition from the state.

Was ANWR in that land grab? Yannow, the ANWR that Dimocrats refuse to open up to drilling?

President Clinton used the authority 22 times to prohibit hunting, recreational vehicles, mining, forestry and even grazing in 5.9 million acres scattered around the country. The law allowed him to single-handedly create 19 new national monuments and expand three others without consulting anyone.

He even shut down some wells.

One of the monuments President Clinton created was the Grande Staircase-Escalante in Utah, where 135,000 acres of land were leased for oil and gas and about 65,000 barrels of oil were produced each year from five active wells. But, President Clinton put an end to developing those resources.

But a drop in the bucked liberals will say. Plants and animals are more important than humans dontcha know.

Liberals keep touting the pie in the sky green energy canard. They seem to think we can get most of our energy from solar, windmills, unicorn dust, and Poof! PFM!. Meanwhile, we have to import over half of our oil, some of it from countries that don't like us. Our oil purchases finance terrorism against us.

At least, we're finally going to start building nuke plants again. Remember the China Syndrome? Yep! An anti-nuke film starring that treasonous bitch Jane Fonda. Yet another thing to hang on her (or to hang her for). God, I hate that woman!

Go read the rest of DeMint's op-ed. Just imagine if we decided to open up ANWR, new offshore sites, and many of the areas that have been declared off limits by the Dimocrats. Not only would we be able to cut our imports of oil, we would also create jobs.

What is the biggest problem facing our country today? It's not health care. It's not green energy. It's jobs. And I'm certainly not talking about green jobs. the green jobs policies in Spain and California both destroyed more regular jobs than the green jobs they created.

Wouldn't it be nice if we had a gummint that thought that jobs were a priority? Instead the Dimocrats are busy killing jobs with their energy policies, killing jobs with their health plan, and killing jobs with their tax plans.

Elections have consequences. In the last election the "change" we voted for was national suicide. Historians will really be scratching their heads on why we did it.

Baby Talk

Call The INS

I saw this story in the morning's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.

Felipe Matos graduated from a two-year college with an associate degree and honors for his academic achievements. But he put his dreams of earning a bachelor degree on hold because immigration laws make it financially impossible.

What immigration laws are those, pray tell?

Matos came to this country illegally when he was 14

So he's an illegal alien? Why is he still in the country?

He graduated from high school and planned to become a teacher. But about 40 states -- including Georgia -- do not allow undocumented students to pay in-state college tuition, even if they graduated from one of the states' high schools. Instead these students must pay out-of-state tuition, which is often three times as expensive.

This shouldn't even be a part of the discussion. He's illegal so send him back to whence he came.

When Georgia passed a law in 2006 ordering all agencies to make sure they're in compliance with immigration law, the bill's architects said it made no sense for the state to subsidize the education of students who would not be able to work legally after graduation. Leaders also feared Georgia would face the lawsuits similar to those filed in California and New York when colleges there offered in-state tuition to illegal immigrants.

And you wonder why California is broke and New York is headed that way?

Matos and three other undocumented students

Undocumented students? Howza 'bout illegal aliens? That more aptly describes these folks.

are walking 1,500 miles -- from Miami to Washington, D.C. -- to promote in-state tuition at public colleges for illegals and other aspects of immigration reform. The students were in Atlanta last week and plan to arrive in the nation's capitol in May.

Dear INS:

There are four illegal aliens here in Atlanta right now. They'll be in Washington DC soon. Pick up these "undocumented students" and deport them. In other words, do your freaking job!

Sincerely,
An American citizen.

Census

So I got a letter in the mail from the Census Bureau yesterday telling me that next week I'm getting my census form. WTF? Why did they waste all this money telling me I'm receiving sumpin' in the mail next week? That's like the phone company sending me a letter telling me that I'm receiving my phone bill next week. How much money did these idiots waste by sending out these letters?

And these are the people you want to put in charge of our health care?