More AGW News

Remember Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW and all of his acolytes saying that the North Pole would be free of ice by now? Yeah. Me too. Instead, it’s getting thicker.

Satellite data shows that Arctic sea ice is getting thicker as Antarctic sea ice extent continues to expand to near record levels, according to a report issued by the US National Snow and Ice Data Center, in Boulder Colorado, today, 5 February 2014.

Uh oh. Another chink in the armor of AGW.

Satellite data shows that Arctic sea ice was 50 per cent thicker in Autumn 2013 than it was in Autumn 2012, according to the US National Snow and Ice Data Center (NSIDC).

Data from the European Space Agency’s (ESA’s) CryoSat satellite which is equipped to measure the thickness of sea ice using radars shows that Arctic sea ice volumes grew by 50 per cent last year. This is due to an increase in ice thickness, since sea ice extent declined by around 3 per cent.

I can hear it now. Remember how the true believers said that the record cold we are experiencing in the continental US was because warming at the North Pole pushed cold air South? Yep. Me too. Our pet liberal told us that. I guess now that sea ice at the North Pole is thickening, it’s because warm air in the continental US is pushing cold air North and that’s what’s causing the sea ice to thicken.

Remember, to the true believers in the Church of AGW, global warming causes everything.

A Horrible Nightmare

My buddy Pres sent me this horrible nightmare he had recently.

In a recent nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at
a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I’m
circumcised!

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find
my driver’s license photo and it was that same color, black. I felt
myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.

But it’s a wheelchair!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I’m also
disabled! I said to myself, aloud, “This is impossible! It’s
impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled!”

“It’s the pure and holy truth,” whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it’s my boyfriend. Just what I needed!!! I am a
homosexual, and on top of that, with a Mexican boyfriend.

Oh, my God ….. Black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican
boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, I try to pull my hair, and Oh,
nooooo ….I’m bald!!!

The telephone rings. It’s my brother. He is saying, “Since mom and
dad died, the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze
around all day doing nothing. Get a job, you worthless piece of
crap… Any job!”

Mom? Dad? Nooooo ….. Now I’m also an unemployed orphan!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you
are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a
drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan, but he doesn’t get it.

Now this joke is really going off the rails since in the age of Diversity (All Hail Diversity!), this guy is very employable. Companies would be lining up to hire him since he would help them make multiple Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) quotas.

Frustrated, I hang up. It’s then I realize I only have one hand!!!

With tears in my eyes, I go to the window to look out. I see I live
in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash
everywhere. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my
pacemaker…Pacemaker??

Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican
boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed,
an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy
neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, “Sweetie
pie amigo, love, my little black heart-throb, have you decided what
you are going to wear to Washington to meet Obama?”

Say it isn’t so!!! Now I can handle being a black, disabled, one
armed, drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV
positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a
Mexican boyfriend, but please…..

Oh dear God, “please don’t tell me I’m a Dimocrat!”

Monday Pun 2-10-2014

For today we have an Olympics pun from Tom.

I thought you should know … some interesting history to share at an appropriate time for the Sochi games.

A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece ..

In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.

To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.

At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of magnificent naked males marching toward her and she exclaimed: (more…)