Murders Delayed

Heironymus sent this to me. It came from the Onion. Thanks to all my readers who let me know.

MURDERS
CHICAGO—The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of murders on Friday morning and will likely continue to push numerous homicides across the city drastically behind schedule, public authorities announced. “As we speak, maintenance crews are working diligently to restore public transportation, de-ice roads, and clear back alleyways so that Chicagoans can quickly resume murdering again,” Department of Streets and Sanitation spokesman Dave Michelson said of the heavy blizzard, which caused numerous homicide cancellations this morning at peak murder times. “Unfortunately, we’re backed up by about 35 deadly shootings at the moment, but we hope to restore regular death tolls as soon as possible. We apologize to anyone forced to postpone shootings or other killings today and assure concerned murderers that they will be able to resume slayings by the early afternoon.” At press time, authorities reported that murders were up and running in many parts of the city, with four teenagers already gunned down on Chicago ’s South Side.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant! I wish I had written that.

And let us not forget, Chicago’s South Side is mainly black. And as far as the Black Lives Matter crowd goes, just remember that the only black lives that matter are the ones taken by white people. Blacks gunning down other blacks is quite OK. You never see them protesting against that and they don’t advocate cooperating with the cops when that happens. “Snitches get stitches.” To put things in prospective, more blacks are killed by other blacks in a week in cities like Chicago and St. Louis than are killed by white cops in the rest of the country in a year.

Black Lives Matter. What a crock!

How To Defeat ISIS

Paul sent me this.

jobs program

Can you believe this? I saw more on this at Don Surber’s site where he posted this exchange between this dingbat, Marie Harf, and fellow dingbat Chrissie Matthews.

MATTHEWS: How do we stop this? I don’t see it. I see the Shia militias coming out of Baghdad who are all Shia. The Sunnis hate them. The Sunnis are loyal to ISIS rather than going in with the Shia. You’ve got the Kurds, the Jordanian air force and now the Egyptian air force. But i don’t see any — If I were ISIS, I wouldn’t be afraid right now. I can figure there is no existential threat to these people. They can keep finding places where they can hold executions and putting the camera work together, getting their props ready and killing people for show. And nothing we do right now seems to be directed at stopping this.

HARF: Well, I think there’s a few stages here. Right now what we’re doing is trying to take their leaders and their fighters off the battlefield in Iraq and Syria. That’s really where they flourish.

MATTHEWS: Are we killing enough of them?

HARF: We’re killing a lot of them and we’re going to keep killing more of them. So are the Egyptians, so are the Jordanians. They’re in this fight with us. But we cannot win this war by killing them. We cannot kill our way out of this war. We need in the medium to longer term to go after the root causes that leads people to join these groups, whether it’s lack of opportunity for jobs, whether —

Oh yeah. That “root cause” bullshit the Left always likes to trot out. So let’s talk about the “root cause”. It has nothing to do with jobs. It has everything to do with religion, and that religion is Islam. That is the root cause. Osama bin Laden didn’t worry about a freakin’ job. He was rich. Many Islamic terrorists are well educated. They are doctors and engineers. They are not looking for jobs. It’s Islam stupid! You don’t give these goat boinkers jobs, you give them death. You kill them until they decide not to kill you. If that includes a Dresden scenario, I’m OK with that. Tell them if they don’t stop we’ll nuke Mecca and Medina and then do it. Take out Tehran. Take out Riyadh as well. The Saudis and the Iranians are the sponsors of Islamic terrorism. They’re the ones we are at war with. Unfortunately, we have forgotten how to fight wars anymore. We didn’t win WWII by being nice and worrying about collateral damage. We won by killing Germans until they couldn’t kill us anymore. We defeated Japan by nuking two cities. Ann Coulter was right when she said we should take their oil and convert them to Christianity. I’m for killing them until they decide not to kill us anymore, just like we used to fight wars. If it results in millions of deaths on their side, so be it. Islam knows it is at war with us. For some reason, we refuse to realize that fact. It doesn’t help that we have an Islamic apologist in the White House. If Obungler were a Mooslime (which he prolly is) exactly what would he be doing differently?

The Left didn’t want to win the Cold War. The Dimocrats fought Reagan every step of the way. They called him a cowboy. They called SDI Star Wars. But he persevered and we won. Now, the Dimocrats do not want us to win the GWOT. The last war the Left wanted us to win was WWII, prolly because the USSR was on our side in that one.

Update: To defend herself Marie Harf quotes Bush and is mocked beyond belief. I thought Obungler kept telling us Bush was wrong about everything. So now this is the Bush policy that Harf is advocating. Someone needs to tell her that one of the first things to do when you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging.