Saturday Boobage 4-2-2016

This one is from AlphaDelta, in honor of Spring.

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10 comments on “Saturday Boobage 4-2-2016

  1. Ron in Ohio Sez:

    OK, the boobs might make it “spring” but that face will definitely put a damper on the mood. Too Porn Queen looking.

    • Oh, when you said I had “the sexual stamina of two men,” that doesn’t count as a threesome now, eh?

      Fine.

  2. Spring has sprung and this picture shows a “wet woman” porn star after an anal shoot in the aqua colored water. How can I tell? Look at the downturned face, mouth frozen in a painful grimace after the make-up artist put sand in the Vaseline. Of course the standard excuse was that the limo-wrist make-up artist was jealous of the lady for seducing his boyfriend into a ride on the Hersey highway. Alas, some folks have never learned the “must share” lesson from their parents.

    Anyhow, the sun broke over the green pines like thunder and I’m planning on my usual weekend mall crawl to scope out the local talent. Shorts and halter tops will be the uniforms of the day and that’ll make Toejam very happy. Almost as happy as a roll in the silk sheets with the ever lovely DDP.

    1) FACE: Porn Star personified says it all. Skanky hair, makeup that looks like it was modeled from diatomaceous earth mixed with fresh honey. It’ll take a jack hammer to crack it after an hour in the sun. Looking beyond the crust I see an aged, druggie hooker who was given her 15 minutes of fame by some horny dude who happened to be allowed to pack the damsel’s peanut butter. He was agog with delight since his wife usually put a cork in her butt and used duct tape to hold it in place during sex. Other than that this babe’s puss looks like it was hit with a bag of freshly minted nickels. Rating: “C-“.

    2) BOOBAGE: Dr. Finkelstein will disavow any knowledge of why these ta-ta’s look manufactured or at least enhanced by someone other than Mother Nature. Yup. They might look alluring to the average person but take it from an expert, they’ve been fiddle with and not only by fingertips. Aureoles don’t appear too big and her nipples are erect. Both conditions; shrunken aureoles and rock hard nipples caused by a combination of the cold spring water and the insertion of a one-eyed pocket mouse deep into the inner recesses of her poop locker. Rating: “B”.

    3) TORSO: About the best part of Ms. Brown-eye beauty. Firm, tanned and an absolutely perfect serving plate for the slightly limp chocolate ├ęclair after a fish flavored salad dinner. Rating: “A”.

    Toejam overall rating: “B-“.

    OK folks that’s the abbreviated expert anatomical analysis for today. I must freshen up, apply some virgin olive oil to my XL athletic supporter (keeps the chaffing down while doing my mall duty), break out the spandex triathlon uniform (It’s a babe magnet) and speed off to the honey hunting ground.

    See DDP. If you hadn’t taken off with one of the bubble-butted Kardashians you could be accompanying me in the quest for the earthly goddess of bodacious booty.

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