Three Rolls A Week?

85% of statistics are made up on the spot.” – Larry the Cable Guy.

Remember the bogus statistic on plastic straws? Some middle schooler had a science project that stated that we used and threw away some incredible number of plastic straws. The Fake News Media and the environuts picked it up and ran with it. It was made up. It had no scientific basis. We now have anothe bullshit statistic.

A new report on paper use says Americans are flushing away Canadian forests.

Oh no, eh!

A new report on paper use says Americans are flushing away Canadian forests.

Devastating, eh!

The U.S. consumes more toilet paper than any other country, almost three rolls per person each week. And the brands they choose to use aren’t sustainable, with hardwood trees being pulped to create the soft toilet paper consumers want. Following the United States’ annual use of 141 rolls of toilet paper per capita is Germany with 134 rolls and the United Kingdom with 127. Japanese consumers average 91 rolls annually, while the Chinese average just 49.

Three rolls a week! Do you know anyone who goes through three rolls of toilet paper a week? In my case it’s the reverse. A roll of toilet paper last me at least three weeks, prolly longer. That means to offset my usage someone has to be using a lot more than three rolls a week. How can anyone go through three rolls of toilet paper a week? That’s one hell of a lot of ass wiping or in the case of females, other area wiping. Can you imagine how many times one person would have to go to the to the john to use three rolls of toilet paper a week?

I know. Teenagers are TPing a lot of houses. That’s the ticket. It’s the only thing that could possibly explain that bogus statistic.

Sheesh!

Crooked Cankles could have used some.


Thanks to Pres for the image.

21 comments on “Three Rolls A Week?

  1. Mooslimes don’t use any – so drop that several billion from the count and we have a lot of over ass wiping going on.

  2. Some s#!t is important. No matter how poor I am, I will always endeavor to have quality TP for my delicate exit. Seriously, do they think this stuff grows on trees?

    • Damn skippy. Because my asshole rates it.

      And as a longtime retired stay-at-home bachelor, I call bullshit on the three rolls a week. That figure must come from TP, facial tissues (don’t use ’em) and paper towels, and I don’t use that much a week either.

  3. I was relaxing. Enjoying a nice pale ale and casually reading GOC. Then the picture of Clinton’s ass. Now there’s pale ale all over my computer screen.

  4. I call BS on the article as you use Softwood trees for paper; not hardwood. Companies that produce the pulp for paper grow trees like crops and replant immediately after harvesting. The softwoods grow quickly.

    These practices are government controlled and ultimately keep more land in forest than would otherwise happen.

    As far as TP use a week, one roll and usually less.

  5. Well Denny …That was a test fart which signaled a toxic load lodged in her Manure chute……gotta wonder if Huma Abedin was in charge of the cleanup. Sincerely hope you do not have a photo of that.
    Rolls of toilet paper……………….Never reached a 3 roll week even when we ground up pork & deer meat for sausage & made Chili at our Hunting Camp! A yearly ritual , one year we made 300 lbs of a pork/deer blend breakfast sausage…200 lbs of Patties & 100 lbs in casings. This was a yearly ritual complete with Draft Beer , fresh sausage & one hell of a sampling party.

  6. And, the author of such retardedness: https://vimeo.com/84587046

    If this nation’s want is to survive, it must consider repealing the 19th amendment.

    Ps. happy February 28, 1909, founded by the Socialist Party of America: International Women’s Day.

  7. During winter months I live alone, by myself so I know pretty much how much asswipe I use.(by that I mean tp not asswipe like Adam Schiff) When I saw 3 rolls of tp per week my immediate thought was bullshit! I give birth to a journalist every morning promptly after my first swallow of coffee and I don’t skimp on the tp. I go at least 3 to 4 weeks on a roll

  8. This is probably the only case where I’ll give credit to Rosie O’Donnell, but in response to a previous urging that people cut back and use only a single sheet of toilet paper, she replied, “Do you know how big my ass is?”

    • Actually if Rosie had asked Hillary where she buys who delicate under garments……Hillary would say I now wear only Fruehauf Industrial Strength Mighty Whitey Knickers

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