Heh! Heh! This is CNN.

CNN is planning to cut up to 300 jobs, “many being older employees with years at the network,” according to a report on Monday.

According to FTVLive, a website that monitors the television industry, “Word is that just under 200 people will be pink slipped and just over 100 will be offered a buyout.” Staffers are reportedly calling the cuts a “massive brain drain” because so many veteran employees are being given pink slips.

Hmmm. Whatever could be the cause of this? Could it be that no one watches CNN?

[…]
Aidan McLaughlin, an editor for Mediaite, tweeted that, according to a CNN source, the cable network is not making layoffs, but “more than 100 staffers took part in a voluntary buyout program”

A CNN spox tells me there are no layoffs at the network, but more than 100 staffers took part in a voluntary buyout program https://t.co/Z6bie8WPgi

— Aidan McLaughlin (@aidnmclaughlin) May 6, 2019
CNN host Brian Stelter also knocked down rumors that layoffs were in the works.

There’s a rumor making the rounds today about big impending layoffs at CNN. A CNN spokeswoman is knocking it down on the record: “No layoffs.” There WERE voluntary buyouts throughout the organization, and about 100 people opted for it.

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) May 6, 2019

“Voluntary buyouts’? That’s an euphemism for layoffs with separation pay. I can remember back when I worked for IBM we had all sorts of euphemisms for layoffs. One of them was “workforce rebalancing”. Your job went away and you had thirty days to find a job in another part of the company. If you didn’t you were “rebalanced” out of a job and were released with separation pay.

I started this blog when I still worked for IBM but to hide that fact I called it TCIDNN (The company I Dare Not Name). Just like with Scott Adams, people thought I worked for their company. Only three people figgered out I worked for IBM. One of them read one of my posts about a current layoff program and emailed me. “Dude, you’re busted! You work for IBM. I googled “workforce rebalancing” and came up with IBM.”

It’s not unusual for downsizing companies to offer voluntary buyouts, hoping to avoid layoffs, so we’ll have to wait and see if there is a need for cuts after the voluntary arrangements are agreed to.

The cuts come on the heels of devastating April ratings for CNN, with the lowest number of total viewers in five years. The network’s prime-time lineup plummeted 26 percent in April compared to the same month last year. CNN’s total audience in prime time was a pathetic 767,000. Compare that to Fox News, with 2.395 million viewers and third-place MSNBC with 1.660 million. CNN’s Cuomo Primetime was one of the hardest hit, with a mere 971,000 viewers in April — the worst month in the show’s history. Sean Hannity, Cuomo’s Fox counterpart in the 9 p.m. slot, dominated the ratings with a total audience of 3.086 million. Fox’s Tucker Carlson Tonight came in second, with 2.834 million viewers and MSNBC’s The Rachel Maddow Show was third with 2.630 million viewers.

Maybe riding the Russian collusion bullshit wasn’t a good business plan. Maybe people are sick of loudmouth Jim Acosta. Maybe people are sick of the constant Trump bashing. Look for even more downsizing at CNN in the future if it continues with its Trump bashing business plan.

At the rate CNN is going, its only viewers will be in airports.