In a news release today, the NFL just announced it was changing its name to the Woke Football League and would be instituting the following changes.

1. In the name of Diversity (All Hail Diversity!), Equity®, and Inclusion®, only black players will be on teams. Sorry Drew Brees, your groveling and self abasement to Black Lives Matter didn’t do you any good. Enjoy your retirement.

2. Kneeling for the National Anthem will be required of all players and coaches. Hopefully, all the people at home and in the stands will join us.

3. All team names will be Black Lives Matter. That solves that pesky Washington Redskins kerfuffle. They will now be the Washington Black Lives Matter.

4. Roger Goodell has retired as commissioner and will be replaced by Colon Krapperdick.

5. All white general managers will be fired and replaced by black general managers. Once again this is because of Diversity (All Hail Diversity!), Equity®, and Inclusion®. Furthermore since manager reminds people of Slavery®, the term general manager will be replaced by HMFIC.

6. All white coaches will be replaced by black coaches, once again because of Diversity (All Hail Diversity!), Equity®, and Inclusion®.

7. The uniforms will be black and blue. No white pants, no white jerseys, no white helmets, no white shoes, and no white numerals.

8. All white officials will be replaced by black officials because of Diversity (All Hail Diversity!), Equity®, and Inclusion®. No while stripes, no white hats and no white pants. Those are slave owner colors.

9. All cheerleaders will be dressed in black with black boots and BLM patches on their sweaters.

10. The white owners have agreed to sell the teams to black owners because of Diversity (All Hail Diversity!), Equity®, and Inclusion®.

11. Halftime shows will be replaced by riots in honor of the current black saint who died while resisting arrest. The concessions stands will be looted

“No hot dogs no peace!”

“What do we want?”

“Sliders!”

“When do we want them?”

“Now!”

Then the concession stands will be burned down. That’s OK because we have contracted to a black company to rebuild them.

The field will be trashed, so there will only be one half of football. No more boring overtime games.

Fans will flock to stadiums and will turn on their TVs to watch the WFL. We guarantee it.

Parody, satire or …what?

I can guarantee that the players will wear BLM patchs, BLM decals or both.

Remember, it’s never enough with these people. No matter what we give them, they want more. An apology is a sign of weakness. Poor Drew Brees, not only did he have to apologize for being patriotic, he had to get down on his knees and grovel to the BLM mob. If he hadn’t they would have prolly taken his head off off when the season starts.

On the West Coast, an announcer go fired for saying, “All lives matter”. He lost his job even though he apologized. Remember, it’s only Black Lives Matter if an African is killed by a white dude. In Chicongo so far this year, 274 people have been killed, most all of them Africans murdered by other Africans. Don’t those black lives matter?

Evidently not.

From Ray.

Def Leppard back when Steve Clark was still alive and Rick Allen had two arms.

His 14th harpsichord sonata played beautifully by a beautiful lady.

I couldn’t find it on harpsichord so piano will have to do.

From Alphadelta. (more…)

It’s getting harder and harder to pick Assholes of the Week because there are so many, like all of the big city mayors who have sided with the rampaging mobs instead of their citizens. Pick one.

Herb nominated Minneapolis city council president Lisa Bender one of the leaders of the defund the police movement. Check out the following exchange on CNN.

“Do you understand that the word, dismantle, or police-free also makes some people nervous, for instance?” Camerota asked. “What if in the middle of [the] night, my home is broken into? Who do I call?”

“I mean, I hear that loud and clear from a lot of my neighbors,” Bender said. “And I know — and myself, too, and I know that that comes from a place of privilege. Because for those of us for whom the system is working, I think we need to step back and imagine what it would feel like to already live in that reality where calling the police may mean more harm is done.”

Huh? WTF?

Yannow it is a place of privilege that we have built a civilization with law and order and we have idiots like you who want to tear it down and appease the mob. WTF is wrong with you? I would love to see the mob come after you with no cops to protect you. “But I’m on you side”, you’ll scream as they rape you and burn down your house. Liberalism really is a mental disorder.

Liberals are assholes. Lisa Bender is a liberal and an asshole.

Defund the police. That’s the latest liberal idea. Do it! Do it! I wanna see all of those blue cities go up in smoke.

In New York, Mayor Wilhelm’s wife said that a cop free New York city would be a “nirvana” and a “utopia”. I’m down with that. Let’s start with your security detail. Let’s see how you would like NYC to be cop free then, especially when the rioters and looters hit the mayor’s mansion where you live.

The city council in Minneapolis, by a veto proof majority, has voted to defund the police. Good for them. I wanna see Minneapolis replace St. Louis as the most dangerous city in the country. You Scandicucks are getting what you voted for good and hard. Look for more businesses leaving Minneapolis.

In Seattle, there is a new nation, CHAZ (Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone), set up by Antifa. The governor of Washington, is down with this. CHAZ has its own warlord leader, a rapper named Raz Simone. Guys, The Last Centurion was not a how to manual. The difference is this is happening in Seattle, not Detoilet. Let’s defund the cops in Seattle and turn it into a shit hole.

The mayor of Los Angeles, Eric Garcetti, is cutting $150 million from the police budget and diverting it to social programs.

“Hello 911, someone is breaking into my house.”

911: “Have no fear. A social worker is on her way. The burglar has been deprived and just needs some counseling.”

This is a winning proposition for Dimocrats because everyone knows that less cops means less crime. Look at how peaceful the protests have been with the blue state mayors keeping the cops from interfering with them. It worked with the St. Freddy riots in Baltimore didn’t it? And it’s been working with the St. George riots as the protesters have been peacefully looting and burning down stores.

Defund the police! Give us more riots!

It’s gonna be a long hot summer.

Heeeeeres Ron!

Wypipology — an act of contrition by white people for the sins of those unrelated to them from the past who might have been involved in slavery. The genesis of white guilt, the primary ingredient in electing inexperienced, unqualified, non-American, pot-smoking Marxists to high public office.

Well, lemme tell ya what, gang … there ain’t gonna be any of that comin from THIS old white guy.

Tired of hearing about the “systemic” racism. If such a thing even exists, it’s perpetuated NOT by “wypipo” but by the leftist media and blacks themselves.

What, for example, can possibly be more racist than a Black Miss America contest? Or a Black Congressional Caucus? Or pure-and-simple identity-voting by blacks up to 95% for an inept, inexperienced, unqualified, pot-smoking, anti-American halfrican for PotUS – TWICE!!?? Or an Al Sharpton? Or a Jesse Jackson? Or a Sheila Jackson-Lee?

When black people bring up the old bromide “we need to have a discussion on race in America,” what they really mean is “I’m going to list my demands for reparations and free shit, and you just sit there and keep your mouth shut.”

The deliberate perpetuation of the totally debunked “Hands-Up/Don’t-Shoot!” myth is racism at its worst: lying for the undisguised goal of getting away with something unearned and unethical, for free.

What could possibly be more racism oriented than knowingly and systematically rejecting applications for scholarships to Asians and whites who score considerably higher on entrance exams than black students?

And as far as “white privilege” is concerned, I am still waiting for my free ride while I flip through channels on my TV to find that half the faces that appear are black while virtually none are Asian or Latino but only 13.4% of the US population is African. Maybe all this black anger is a result of not having NBA, MLB, and NFL entertainment because of a biological weapon developed by the Chinese.

Also disgusting is the instant explosion of anger and hate from blacks when they hear anyone who doesn’t look like them use the word “nigger” although it is a staple in their signature “rap music.” Of course when they call white people “cracker” or “peckerwood” or “honkey,” that’s just self-expression, not racism.

I will NOT apologize for slavery . . . because no members of my family ever owned slaves, and I oppose reparations simply because there is absolutely no way to determine which US blacks would be eligible for it or which non-blacks should fund it.

How, for example, does a mixed-race person whose white ancestors owned slaves but whose black ancestors came here after slavery was abolished figure into it? Does he pay reparations to himself? Or to some anonymous black person whose ancestry is untraceable?

Consider the amazingly perverted logic of young blacks looting a liquor store for . . . well . . . you know, social justice for George Floyd, or Michael Brown, or Trayvon Martin. And how clever of them to ransack and burn down the place where they buy their groceries or first-aid supplies.

Those people don’t want a “conversation” about race: they want license to steal and impunity from punishment for chimping out.

The way I see things in 21st century Murka is that domestic terrorists should be shot on sight when discovered committing acts of violence, arson, battery, and looting. And while I’m in the general area, the only way we’re ever going to rid ourselves of identity theft is by publicly executing those who do it. Painfully. Slowly.

Hey . . . we’re not going to run out of assholes, so the loss of a couple thousand terrorist parasites would affect the body politic much like popping a few pimples on a self-indulgent fat lady.

How to become an African saint.

1. Be an African career criminal or thug.
2. Be killed by a white cop while resisting arrest.

Voila!

St. George of Fentanyl.
St. Michael of Swisher Sweets.
St Freddy of heroin. In his case, the injury was self-inflicted but was blamed on the cops. Close enough for sainthood.
St. Trayvon of Skittles. Not shot by a cop but of a new demographic, white Hispanic. Close enough for sainthood.

Wonder when the next African thug will be canonized? And just think, he will prolly have the homophobic, antisemitic, racist Al Sharpton deliver his eulogy.

Come on down! Come on down!

It’s the George Floyd Memorial Sale with door buster (or window smashing) savings! All items 100% off! All you need is a rock or a brick. Get that large screen TV you’ve always wanted. Free! All sorts of other good stuff while supplies last. Bring the kids!