From Gary.

Why people don’t like to attend reunions……

Jan, Sue and Mary haven’t seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and sandals. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York’s leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida.

Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in New Mexico and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend’s honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses’ aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

6 comments on “Reunions

  1. A man took a sick parrot to the vet, saying that the parrot was weak and would not eat. The vet said that the beak is chipped and needs to be filed, at a charge of $100. The man said he could try to do it himself, but the vet warned that if the beak is filed wrong, it can’t be fixed and the bird will starve. A week later the man told the vet that he tried to file the beak, but the bird died. The vet asked how long the parrot lived. “Oh, he was dead when I took his head out of the vise.”

  2. Ain’t dat dah troof!!!…I went to my 25th…this is real…the gal that was our Queen..looked just as beautiful….never married…second place gal…second marriage was to the short guy she said she would NEVER date…his third marriage…both very happy..short meat head on football team who did not play but punched everybody and we couldn’t get out of weight room…still short..still meathead..still punching everyone and brags about how much he can lift…our punter…a good one…first in shower…last out…died twenty years ago…no one knows cause of death…everybody can guess…the nerd..gentle massive guy…went right to Vietnam Nam…flew helicopters and is a multimillionaire owning biggest helicopter business in the state…I was city champ in track. One day after school over..qualifying for Olympic Trials…in Major one knew or cared…I left after 17 minutes!!!

  3. Great joke. Thanks, Gary & Denny.
    Ain’t been to a single reunion and don’t expect there to be many in the future.
    Most famous guy from our class is Ted Lange, played Isaac the bartender on Love Boat. Just as funny and likeable in real life as the guy he played on TV. Another good man was George Wells, wrestler, football player and track. Had try outs with the Niners and Raiders, then wrestled professionally. His JC football team was know for havin’ beaten SFCC, who’d been undefeated with their star, O. J. Simpson.

    Our class also lost a few guys in Viet of the Nam.

  4. Heads up:

    The internet site is supposed to be in support of President Donald Trump. It’s a false flag and is run by Canadian socialists. It’s purpose is to divide Trump supporters and try to get others to make statements of violence where they can be arrested. I wasted some time there before I figured it out.

  5. I, too, haven’t been to a single HS class reunion.
    I didn’t like any of them then and still don’t.
    I will admit I signed up for the class website just to see who was doing what where and surprised at how many were dead.
    I saw the pictures from the reunion (45th) and the girls that were there that were kind of pretty in HS are flat out fugly now.

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