Some worthy candidates this week. Howza ’bout the mayor of Oakland who has decided to give $500 a month to poor families with the exception of white families. Isn’t that like, yannow, racist?
But the award goes to that whiny bitch Megan Rapinoe. She’s whining about how women soccer players don’t get paid as much as men. There’s a simple reason for that Megan. People will pay to see men play soccer. They won’t pay to see women play soccer, especially women who can’t beat a team of 15 year old boys.
In preparation for two upcoming friendlies against Russia, the U.S. women’s national team played the FC Dallas U-15 boys academy team on Sunday and fell 5-2, according to FC Dallas’ official website.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I was gonna write sumpin’ about how the 15 year old boys should demand to be paid as much as the women but the Babylon Bee beat me to it.
U.S.—Dozens of 15-year-old boys’ soccer teams across the country have demanded equal pay to the women’s national team, since they are competitive with the women and even beat them from time to time.
“It’s only fair,” said high-schooler Aiden Benton. “This is a clear case of sexism and age discrimination, that I get paid nothing to play and the women get a decent little paycheck.”
“End pay discrimination now!” he added, clapping on each word for emphasis.
“The boy makes a really good point,” said CNN reporter Holly Bandersnatch. “He clapped on each word, plus, he claimed sexism. It is only fair that the boys’ team get paid the same as the world champions’ women’s team. You just can’t argue with hand claps.”
At publishing time, the women had made the counterargument that the 15-year-old boys’ teams are smelly boys and should be stuffed in a locker somewhere.
Take that Megan! You won’t get paid as much as men but you will get the AOTW Award.