This one is from Mo K.

A friend of mine just started his own business.  He manufactures landmines that look like prayer mats.It’s doing well. (more…)

Not only is she hot and has a nice rack, but she can shoot as well.

From my friend Pres.

Got this one from Old School Conservative.

Three uninformed voters were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said,  “So y’all want to be cops, huh?”

The uninformed voters  all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said,

“To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth.”

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first uninformed voter and withdrew it after about two seconds.

“Now,” he said, “did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?”

The uninformed voter immediately said, “Yes, I did. He has only one eye!”

The detective shook his head and said, “Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It’s a profile of his face! You’re dismissed!”

The first uninformed voter hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second uninformed voter, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, “What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?”

“Yes! He only has one ear!”

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, “Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man’s face! Of course you can only see one ear! You’re excused too!”

The second uninformed voter sheepishly walked out of the office.

He detective turned his attention to the third and last uninformed voter and said, “This is probably a waste of time, but…”. He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, “All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?”

The uninformed voter said, “I sure did. This man wears contact lenses. ” The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the uninformed voter with a puzzled expression and said, “You’re absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?”

The uninformed voter rolled her eyes and said, “Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can’t wear glasses.

Marty sent me this one.  Comments are back so Toejam can do us usual critique.  I also get to test the more tag.

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The choice is easy this week.  Lois Lerner.  She’s done nothing wrong but takes the Fifth.

Thanks to Roy for the ‘toon.

She was asked to resign.  She refused so they put her on administrative leave with pay.   What a punishment.  Here’s your award bitch!

Bill Quick as well as many readers caught me where I made a mistake and confused Lois Lerner with Sarah Hall Ingram. As Bill points out, it’s an easy mistake to make since they’re both corrupt criminals hiding behind he facade of big gummint. Ya see, I don’t have the luxury of having many layers of fact checkers like the LSM. Speaking of the LSM, I read a story earlier this week in the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation where the writer, who was either from the New York Slimes (Motto:All the news that fits our views) or the AP, confused Eugene McCarthy with Joe McCarthy. That’s a much more egregious mistake than my confusing a couple of corrupt IRS Obamabots.

Ron’s first post on the new site.

How convenient to be able to summon up a temporary case of early-onset Alzheimer’s when asked a question by a D.C. Press Corps reporter or a member of a Congressional investigating committee.

Now, Charles Krauthammer is unafraid to share an opinion about current events, and he will readily toss names into the center ring of what Hillary calls the Cirque de So-What! when evidence points to ‘em.

I’ve heard Krauthammer say at least 3 times in the past coupla weeks that the fish stinks from the head down.  Last night he used the word “fatal” in reference to the perfect storm of scandals hitting the Obama faux façade.

Huckabee, too, has been fairly direct in saying that a governor or a president should know what’s going on in his subordinates’ offices and if he doesn’t then he’s leading from behind, not in front.

That’s Obungler’s specialty. That was his Libya policy. By the way, he never did get authorization under the War Powers Act. But then the War Powers Act was designed to hobble Republican presidents and not Dimocrat ones. Oh, and the eee-vil Chimpy McHalliburton Bushitler got congressional approval for both Iraq and Afghanistan.

Of course there’s Hannity, and Beck, and Limbaugh, and Palin, and Coulter, and Malkin, and all the rest who keep throwing back the rug after Biden and Carney and most of the 4^th Estate sweeps the dirt under it.

Two old adages come to mind about hiding the truth:  If you’re gonna tell a lie, tell a whopper and don’t back off from it, and if you tell a lie often enough, eventually the people will believe it.  I think the first one came from Hitler and the other from Stalin.

That has been a specialty of BJ and Thunder Rodent Thighs throughout their entire careers in politics. Rose Law Firm billing records? Never saw ’em. Don’t know how they wound up in the White House with my fingerprints on ’em.

Amidst the thuggery, the muggery, and the skullduggery of Zero Bomber’s administration is a pervasive habit of shruggery.  We get beat over the head with laws we don’t want, then our revenues are stolen and given to failing companies, and finally the laws protecting citizens’ rights are completely ignored so that those on the “non-existent” enemies list can have their petitions lost, their requests misplaced, and their phone records revealed.

Can you imagine the outrage from the LSM if this stuff had occurred during the Bush administration?

Then when they’re caught at it and called to account by bipartisan committees, they merely shrug their shoulders and say, “I forgot,” or “Nobody told me,” or “I’ve done nothing wrong.”

Like during the Clinton administration we had the two smartest people in the world (BJ was reputed to have a photographic memory) who couldn’t remember a damned thing.

In addition to his early immersion in Indonesian culture, it appears Pak Soetoro also spent some time learning some Amnesian habits, which he then taught to members of his cabinet and staff.  He and Holder and Clinton could resurrect that old Intelligence team the Stooges were so fond of:  Duck, Dodge, and Hide.

The pandemic of memory loss in and around D.C. has progressed way past CRS and into full-blown CRAFT.    How many times have we heard someone lately, in reflexive answer to a direct question from a member of the White House Press Corps or a Congressional committee, say, “I don’t know,” or “I don’t remember.”

Of course many variations of the basic “Beats the hell outta me!” response come up, too.  Uh-Bamugabe’s “Uh, nobody told me.   I had to read it in the newspaper just like the rest of you,” not only smells like that stuff you scrape off your shoe before coming into the house after cleaning out the stables, but it’s insulting.

But according to Pfeiffer, a key White House advisor/strategist, all the interest in Benghazi, IRS “mistakes,” and the tunneling under the 1^st Amendment to get a subpoena to investigate reporters who had the temerity to question The One’s integrity is even more insulting

Speaking of which, Larry Conners, the St. Louis news reader who had the temerity to ask Oboner some tough questions in an interview, was audited by the IRS shortly after, and posted about it on Facebook, was just fired by KMOV in the interests of “impartiality”. From the LSM? It would be funny if it weren’t so frightening. This is the kind of stuff that’s done in banana republics

.. . . nothing more than a Republican strategy to blow something out of proportion for political gain at the expense of El Precedente.

Hell, that’s like saying Kennedy ordered Hollywood to gin up a special effects scenario showing US astronauts on the moon for the sole purpose of embarrassing the GOP.

So what we have is a PotUS who dismisses Benghazi and other scandals with a definitive “There’s no there there” and on to the next question.

We have an Attorney General whose answer to ticklish questions about the IRS abuse of power is “I was recused, so I can’t speak to that.”

We have a Secretary of State whose answer to questions about who’s responsible for the fiasco in Benghazi is “Who gives a shit!”

We have a presidential Press Secretary whose attitude toward any negative question about his boss is “Look, he’s a really nice guy and I love him.”

And this morning we have the woman who was in charge when the IRS overstepped its authority for two years by either denying, delaying, or dismissing tax-exempt status requests by anyone suspected of being on the “I Won” enemies list hiding behind the 5^th Amendment and daring Issa’s committee to assume that means she’s guilty of something.

And SHE’s in charge of the IRS section involved in oversight for the ACA?????

Pretty clear to me what’s happened here.  The CRAFT epidemic is merely a symptom of a greater disorder that is seeping, crawling, inveigling through the upper echelons of central government – a deadly combination of Anorexia and Bulimia.

Gotta be.  Nothin else quite fits.   The EPA, the DoE, the TSA, the DoJ, the State Department, hell . . the entire cabinet has deliberately refused to ingest sufficient law, sufficient tradition, sufficient custom to act in the vital and best interests of the people of the United States.

Instead of a steady, nutritious, healthful diet of the rules and regulations and leadership principles which made the place great to begin with, this administration has become addicted to the empty calories of ambrosia, the intoxicating aftertaste of victory, the sweet, heady nectar of supreme power.   “Oh, what about Ovarmint?” you say . . . “He was a Constitutional scholar, even taught courses in it at universities, right?”

Ah, yes . . . and that’s where the Bulimia comes in.   He took a few bites of it, but regurgitated it all out before it could be digested and become part of his system.   That’s what the Recusosian did as well . . . and Pelosi, and Reid, and Schumer, and Cuomo, and dozens of others.

Biden didn’t need to vomit up anything he ingested from law school since he prefers to simply blow everything out his ass anyway.  And Carney is just a wind-up doll that gets a new sound disk every morning to recite the mantra when a reporter pulls his string.

It’s Bucramanal, folks, an entirely new syndrome which is resistant to all known forms of medication and treatment.   It originated in Marxism, combined with Nazism, matured in Caponeism, and emerged as BuCrAmAnAl, which features all the worst elements of Bulimia, CRAFT, Amnesia, Anorexia, and Alzheimer’s.

Bucramanal . . . available over the counter at government offices everywhere.

 

 

 

I didn’t have comments open when I posted sumpin’ disparaging about Nixon last week and Claudia took it upon herself to chastise me.  Nixon was a flawed man, but he had more character than BJ and Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade combined.  BJ’s sins were far more egregious than Nixon’s (FBI files and the IRS and those are but two of the scandals) but he had a good economy and the LSM on his side.  Nixon had neither.  Obumbler’s sins already are worse than Nixon’s, but he’s black and a Dimocrat so he’ll prolly weather the storm.  Republicans hold their politicians to a higher standard than Dimocrats.  Prime example:  The Floater, the “Lion of the Senate” .  Just remember one thing.  Unlike Benghazi (or the Floater’s Oldsmobile), no one died in Watergate.  Saw a link to this post on Instapundit.

I protest. Will no one stand up for Richard Nixon? Richard Nixon was a combat veteran, a staunch and brave anti-Communist, a man who took on the liberal establishment and at times his own party’s as well, a leader who often thought for himself and had the courage of his convictions, a president who assembled a first-rate Cabinet and one who—while flawed both in character and in policy judgment—usually tried to confront the real problems and deal with challenges of his times. Richard Nixon led neither the country nor his own administration from behind.

I worked for Richard Nixon (well, I worked for two months in the Nixon White House in 1970 as a summer intern). I voted for Richard Nixon (in 1972, my first vote, against George McGovern—and one about which I have no regrets). I knew Richard Nixon (very slightly—I met him on a few occasions in groups in the late 1970s and the 1980s, and then a couple of times when I worked for Vice President Quayle). And so I feel obliged to rise to Richard Nixon’s defense, and to say, with all due respect, to our current president: Barack Obama, you’re no Richard Nixon.

From John.

Howza ’bout that IRS scandal?  The IRS was targeting Tea Party groups.  Meanwhile, liberal groups had no trouble getting tax exempt status.  Isn’t that just special?  Remember, it’s the IRS that’s gonna be the enforcement arm for Obummercare.  Doesn’t that give you a warm and fuzzy feeling?

Here’s more.  Lois Lerner, who was in charge of the section of the IRS which grants tax exempt status, and who claims she did nothing wrong, even though she is taking the Fifth for her testimony, is gonna be the person in charge of the section of the IRS responsible for Obummercare.  That is even more of a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Have any of you ever dealt with the IRS?  I have.  I’ve written about this before.   Back in the early ’80’s I invested in a perfectly legal tax shelter.  One of the persons in the tax shelter was audited and the IRS gave that person the numbers that the IRS said were OK.  So, I filed an amended tax return using the IRS supplied numbers.  Guess what?  I was audited.  I told the IRS dickhead that I was using numbers supplied by the IRS.  He told me that those were numbers from the downtown IRS office.   I asked how that worked?  Each office could make up their own set of rules?  He told me that was true and if I didn’t like it I could take them to court.  The amount was only $270 so I just paid it.  One of the other participants in the partnership took them to tax court.  Every time he showed up, the IRS lawyers asked for a continuance which was granted.  They didn’t really have a case.  I imagine he finally gave up as well.

Isn’t is nice that the IRS can change the rules from office to office?  And these are the people who are gonna run Obummercare.

Here’s another thing that pisses me off about the IRS.  In criminal cases you are innocent until proven guilty.  With the IRS, you are guilty until proven innocent and the burden of proof isn’t on the IRS (which seemingly can change tax laws from office to office) but on the taxpayer.

The IRS can seize your assets and garnishee your wages.  It can ruin you.  No wonder the rat bastard commies in the Oblunder administration have sicced the IRS on their political foes.

I wrote a post awhile back where I said when incompetent Dimocrat presidents get in trouble, we hear that the gummint has just gotten too big for one man to run.  That’s what Axelrod said the other day in response to all of the Obungler scandals that are turning up now.  Obeauzeau just can’t keep track of all the stuff going on in his administration.

Here’s a solution for that.  Quit growing the size of the gummint.  Shrink it.  Then the Obamessiah can do a better job of running the gummint.

But what Axelrod said was total bullshit anyway.  They said this about Jimmah Carter back in the 70’s.   Obongo knew what was going on at the IRS  He was behind it.  It’s the Chicago way and Oboner is nothing more that a Chicago thug.  He was responsible for the disaster at Benghazi as well.  He left four Americans to die while he went to bed and got up the next morning for a fundraising trip to Las Vegas.   The buck is supposed to stop at the president’s desk.  With this president, it’s always someone else’s fault.  He takes credit for the good stuff, like the bin Laden takedown and blames the bad stuff on others.

Thanks voters!