Got it from Ron who got it from one of his friends.  It will never happen, but I can dream can’t I?

How would you like to stay at home and do nuttin’ and get paid more than everyone else at your place of employment. Well if you worked for were employed by BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit – San Francisco’s mass transit system), you could be.

With a gross salary of more than $333,000, BART’s highest-paid employee last year wasn’t its general manager, police chief or a worker who racked up gobs of overtime scrubbing grime from filthy train seats.

It was someone who did no work at all for BART in 2012: Dorothy Dugger, the agency’s former general manager who resigned under pressure more than two years ago.

Kewl. She resigned under pressure and she’s still the highest paid “employee”. Love them gummint jobs.

Under a lucrative retirement scheme, Dugger, 57, quietly stayed on the books, burning off nearly 80 weeks of unused vacation time, drawing paychecks and full benefits for more than 19 months after she agreed to quit in May 2011, according to an analysis by this newspaper. By remaining on BART’s payroll, she accrued almost two extra months of vacation, while sitting at home drawing a six-figure salary for unused time off.

Even MARTA here in Atlanta is not that corrupt. That title goes to Atlanta Public Schools.

The months of extra pay were on top of the $920,000 that BART paid Dugger to leave after the agency’s board botched an effort to fire her by violating public meetings laws.

“Wow,” said James Fang, a BART board member who tried to oust Dugger. “She was still on the payroll? I did not know this. It’s startling.”

And it’s nice work if you can get it.

Update: Peggy U. sent me this link to an interview with this gummint parasite in 2008. I started to reply in the comments, but was having so much fun that I decided to add it to the post.

Some of the lowlights.

Goal yet to be achieved: To secure an adequate level of funding to meet our legacy responsibility of reinvesting and maintaining BART.

Ripping BART off really goes a long way towards achieving that goal.

Like least about job: Not having all the financial resources we need.

Because she’s busy ripping off BART.

Pet peeve: Waste of any kind.

She’s the epitome of waste.

Greatest fear: On a personal level, disappointing people. On a global level, that we will not figure out a way to settle differences without resorting to conflict.

Your personal fear has been achieved. You have disappointed people. You’re a typical gummint worker.

Characteristic most admired: Generosity of spirit and action.

I’ll bet you just love BART’s generosity.

Characteristic most deplored: Deceitfulness.

So, do you deplore yourself?

How do you deal with disappointment: Try to dig deeper into the cause and understand my role in it.

I guess that’s why you had to be forced out of your job with BART.

How do you deal with stress: I tend to ignore it and push on through.

That’s prolly why you ignored your incompetence and had to be forced out of your job. Stress? What stress. Even unemployed you make more than anyone else at BART.

Most influential book: “The Death and Life of Great American Cities,” by Jane Jacobs.

You’re doing your best to aid in the death of San Francisco, but quite frankly, they didn’t need your help.

I guess it comes as no surprise that she’s a Dimocrat.

Karl U. sent me this long one made up of puns of biblical proportions.

Old Testament computing….

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”

And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,” said Abraham.

And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that’s the truth.

Amen.