Most of the limericks I know are in the dirty vein like the following:

There was a young man from Dundee
Who sat on a cliff edge to pee.
Just as he started,
He violently farted,
And blew himself into the sea.

or

There was a young man named Green,
Who invented an intercourse machine.
Both concave and convex,
It fit either sex,
But was a sonuvabitch to clean.

And of course, there was,

There was a young man from Nantucket
…
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin.
…

( You’ll have to fill in the blanks yourselves, otherwise I would hear from my sister.)

Thank you! Thank you! I’ve got a million of them. I’ll be here all week.

Back when I was in Sea Scouts, we used to sing these in our bus on the way to our base on the Mississippi River just downriver from Portage Des Sioux. Between them we’d sing the following

Aye yie yie yie,
In China they do it for chili.
So here comes another verse that’s worse than the other verse.
Waltz me around again Willie.

All this is a setup for my resident poet and writer extraordinaire, Ron, who has written a bunch of limericks about Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade and Moochelle. Ron’s introduction.

Walkin with Monsterdog this a.m. after a teasing li’l early-morning rain, I started thinkin’ in limerick stanzas for some odd reason. So after I got back and fed the dogs and had my breakfast, I decided to write some of ’em out and see how they looked in series.

Problem is that they’re like peanuts, or potato chips, or chocolate-chip cookies . Once you get started, it’s hard to stop. Hell, I coulda gone on with this all day, but after a dozen or so, who’d read ’em any more! So I quit.

Without further ado, here they are, interspersed with comments by me. .

We’ve heard of this guy named Obama
Who had a most peculiar mama.
Her first name was Stanley,
Which makes her sound manly
But not so much as his ol’ gramma.

He learned how to recite the Qur’an
In Arabic when he got called on
By imams in school
Where Islam was the rule,
And he made a trip to Pakistan.

Just remember, Obungler sez he is not a Mooslime, but he also sez that the most beautiful sound he has ever heard in his life is the Mooslime call to prayer.

In high school he goofed off a lot
And bragged about hoops he had shot.
He spent most of his time
Hunting ladders to climb,
When he wasn’t all stoned on some pot.

When college time then rolled around,
Mysterious funding was found
To pay all his fees –
Could it be the Saudis?
All the facts are in secrecy bound.

Did he get financial aid as a foreign student named Barry Soetero? We’ll never know since he refuses to release those records. What is it about Dimocrats refusing to release records about themselves? Flipper promised to release his Navy records back when he was running for president. We’re still waiting. What does he have to hide? Let me just repeat that we knew more about Sarah Palin one week after McRINO picked her as his running mate than we’ll ever know about Oblunder.

Still he managed to get his degree,
And find Michelle, his wife soon to be,
Whose idea of taste
Comes from fitting-room waste
Sewn together by some chimpanzee.

His teenage-years mentor, named Frank,
Is the one whom he has most to thank
For his socialist views —
‘til he sat in the pews
Of an anti-American crank.

It’s really funny that right before Obeauzeau ran for president, the black liberation theology talking points on the church’s website were rewritten to sound less racist than they actually were. A long time ago, I wrote a post with the before and after of those talking points. Of course, it didn’t matter. Oboner was a “clean” and “articulate” black man, according to wacky old Uncle Joe, and it was time that we carried affirmative action, oops I mean Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) to its logical conclusion and had a black president. Thus, we see the marrying of affirmative action with the Peter Principle, and we get Obummer. He’s incompetent and a Chicago thug, but the country likes him, or at least a lot of uninformed voters like him, so that’s OK. What does it matter about Fast and Furious, Benghazi (Let me point out that no one died from Watergate unlike Fast and Furious and Benghazi), wiretaps on reporters, and the IRS? Doesn’t it give you a warm fuzzy feeling that the IRS is gonna be enforcing Obummercare?

Investigative reporting by the LSM, AKA the propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party? Not with a Dimocrat in the White House. Remember, it was Drudge who broke the Monica and BJ story. The LSM was sitting on it. Just like we never heard about JFK’s dalliances or LBJ’s corruption. They sat on the story about John Edwards and his love child. It took the National Enguirer to break that story. Instapundit said the other day that if Nixon had been a Dimocrat, we would have never heard of Woodward and Bernstein.

Next he teamed up with terrorist Bill
Who augmented the anarchist swill
That he picked up from fools
And then mastered in schools
Where he got hooked on Marxist hype pills.

From the Illinois legislature
He stepping-stoned to Senator
Where his votes were quite few
‘cause he never quite knew
What the people had sent him there for.

Now he squats in our house in D.C.
Planning coups and campaigns endlessly
Pulling out all the stops
Using IRS cops
And wiretaps to control the AP.

How much more are we going to take
From this son of a flake and a fake,
Whose best friends are all thugs
And whose sidekick is “Plugs”
And whose wife’s plan is “Let them eat cake.”

We’re doomed!