What with DOMA declared unconstitutional, it opens up some interesting scenarios. If gay couples are now allowed to wed, with the consequences of the gummint and businesses having to pay more in benefits since gay spouses are now covered, why not allow polygamy? After all, holy rollers can claim that polygamy is sanctioned in the Bible, unlike gay marriage, and the only real punishment for polygamy is multiple mothers-in-law. If Obeauzeau wasn’t such a butthead I would feel sorry for him having to live with Moochelle’s mother and having to drag her on trips like his latest one to Africa. And what about the Mooslimes? Look for the ACLU, which hates Christians, but loves Islam and atheism (which is a religion to the professional atheists) to go after laws against polygamy for their Mooslime friends.
Anyhoo, Pres sent me this e-mail going around the intertubes about sumpin’ happening at the San Francisco Marriage License Counter.
“Next.”
“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”
“Names?”
“Tim and Jim Jones.”
“Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance.”
“Yes, we’re brothers.”
“Brothers?? You can’t get married.”
“Why not?? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”
“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”
“Incest?” No, we are not gay.”
“Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?”
“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”
“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”
“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”
“And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”
“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license. Next.”
“Hi. We are here to get married.”
Names?”
“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”
“Who wants to marry whom?”
“We all want to marry each other.”
“But there are four of you!”
“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”
“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”
“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”
“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.”
“Since when are you standing on tradition?”
“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”
“Who says?? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”
“All right, all right. Next.”
“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”
“In what names?”
“David Deets.”
“And the other man?”
“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”
“Marry yourself?? What do you mean?”
“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”
“That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!”
Irony.
Irony? No, just the logical extension of stupid people, playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes. Not Irony, anarchy. As V-man said, marriage is not a right, it’s a restraint on barbarism.
And how long before some whack-job wants to marry her dog, or ???
The possibilities are endless !
As long as she keeps his nails trimmed what’s the harm?
Terry, My dog treats me better than my wife EVER did and she obeys a helluva lot more too!! Did I marry the wrong one?? LOL
Some of these are frivolous, but the issue of polygamy must be taken seriously. Unlike the model of a man marrying a man, polygamous marriages have some historical and cultural and religious bases. Also, yes, any ban on incest would have to be discarded, certainly in same-sex couples that cannot reproduce and thus there’s no genetic argument against the pairing. About marrying one’s dog…well, I guess that “freedom to love” argument shouldn’t be confined to the human species, or for that matter to biological organisms. Maybe I love my dog, or maybe I love my car; who are you to judge? Okay, I guess it would be ridiculous to file a joint tax form with my dog, but at least I could feel good about consummating the relationship.
I’ve been saying that for more than 10 years. I’m not sure I want to marry again even if only to a single woman, nor do I think I want to have to get a double-king-size bed…it wouldn’t fit in my bedroom.
I’ve been thinking about marrying my kids so they can avoid inheritance taxes.