Toejam sent me this one.

QUESTION: Do you know what the difference is between the Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan?

ANSWER: The Supreme Justices wear black robes and scare the shit out of white folks.

Saw this over at Rodge’s place.

This explains Obungler, Moochelle, Thunder Rodent Thighs, Horrible Harry, ex-Speaker Blinky and the rest of the Dimocrat Party. It’s a birth defect.

Many readers sent me this one.

Thunder Rodent Thighs is really looking rough these days. All of that surgery she got before her 2008 run has failed over the years. The facelift has dropped. Her hairstyle only makes her look older. She even looks older than ex-Speaker Blinky. Maybe she should ask Blinky where she got her surgery and where she’s getting her botox injections. She’s looking like an old nag that was rode hard and put away wet. And how’s that “smart diplomacy” working out? “What does it matter now” about Benghazi. That’s a big albatross around her neck. The LSM is gonna try their best to rehabilitate her reputation before 2016, and fortunately for her the American people have short memories and if she does get the nomination, the Stupid Party will be accused of politicizing a tragedy if they try to use Benghazi against her.

What with DOMA declared unconstitutional, it opens up some interesting scenarios. If gay couples are now allowed to wed, with the consequences of the gummint and businesses having to pay more in benefits since gay spouses are now covered, why not allow polygamy? After all, holy rollers can claim that polygamy is sanctioned in the Bible, unlike gay marriage, and the only real punishment for polygamy is multiple mothers-in-law. If Obeauzeau wasn’t such a butthead I would feel sorry for him having to live with Moochelle’s mother and having to drag her on trips like his latest one to Africa. And what about the Mooslimes? Look for the ACLU, which hates Christians, but loves Islam and atheism (which is a religion to the professional atheists) to go after laws against polygamy for their Mooslime friends.

Anyhoo, Pres sent me this e-mail going around the intertubes about sumpin’ happening at the San Francisco Marriage License Counter.

“Next.”

“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”

“Names?”

“Tim and Jim Jones.”

“Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance.”

“Yes, we’re brothers.”

“Brothers?? You can’t get married.”

“Why not?? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”

“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”

“Incest?” No, we are not gay.”

“Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?”

“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”

“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”

“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”

“And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”

“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license. Next.”

“Hi. We are here to get married.”

Names?”

“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”

“Who wants to marry whom?”

“We all want to marry each other.”

“But there are four of you!”

“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”

“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”

“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”

“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.”

“Since when are you standing on tradition?”

“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”

“Who says?? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”

“All right, all right. Next.”

“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”

“In what names?”

“David Deets.”

“And the other man?”

“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”

“Marry yourself?? What do you mean?”

“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”

“That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!”

Irony.

This one is from Heironymus.

Fred and Lynda were making passionate love in Fred’s Transit van when suddenly
Lynda ( being a bit on the kinky side) yells out: “Oh, fat boy, whip
me, whip me!”

Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have
any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps
the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Lynda until they both collapse
in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, Lynda notices that the marks left by the whipping
session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the
doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: “Did you get these marks having sex?”

Lynda a little too embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred let alone
allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits that,
“Yes, I did.”

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims: “I thought so, because in
all my years as a doctor, you’ve got the worst case of (more…)

See if you can find the uninformed voter in this picture.

Still posting pics of tan lines sent to me by my buddy Pres. (more…)

Hey! How’s that Obungler is gonna make the world like us bullshit going on? Didja hear what he said in Arica?

CNSNews.com) – President Barack Obama said at a town hall event in Johannesburg, South Africa, on Saturday that unless we find new way of producing energy “the planet will boil over” if people in Africa are allowed to attain air conditioning, automobiles and big houses.

“Ultimately, if you think about all the youth that everybody has mentioned here in Africa, if everybody is raising living standards to the point where everybody has got a car and everybody has got air conditioning, and everybody has got a big house, well, the planet will boil over — unless we find new ways of producing energy.”

Sorry Africa. We got ours. You need to stay a Third World continent. Don’t throw your spears away yet. Hope you enjoy living in grass huts. But cheer up. Oblunder is trying to turn the United States into a Third World nation with his stupid war on coal and his worship of the junk science of global warming. In the meantime, you can’t be allowed to drive cars and enjoy our standard of living because saving the planet is more important than bringing you into the 21st Century. He may look like you, but he doesn’t really give a crap about you. He doesn’t really care too much for us either. But he did win another AOTW Award.

The runners up to Obeauzeau were the pro-abortion people in Texas who hoped that a pro-life legislator had his daughter raped. Such wonderful people. And speaking of pro-abortion people didja hear Chelsea Clinton bemoaning the fact that Planned Parenthood wasn’t around when her grandmother was born because her grandmother was an unwanted child. Oh Chelsea. If only. Then there would have been no Thunder Rodent Thighs. This was almost as funny as Maxine Waters saying that she was marching in a pro-abortion parade because her mother didn’t “have the right to chose”. Once again. If only.

The Minicapt sent me this Citizenship Test. The first part of it is whether or not you are an involved citizen, yannow, like serving in the military, voting, and petitioning the gummint. The next part is how well do you know the country. Can you identify monuments and such and do you know how the gummint works? On that part, I got all of them correct, even identifying all of the Supremes. The only two I had a problem with were Breyer and Kennedy. My citizenship score was 62.I would be interested in seeing the scores of many of our ruling class, like Sheila Jackson-Lee (“Will the Mars rovers be anywhere near the flags the astronauts planted?”) or Corinne Brown (“Grudulate the Gator.”)

Happy Independence Day! Alas, on this July 4th, we are continuing to turn our freedoms over to an ever growing gummint encroaching on our freedoms and on many other parts of our lives. Sadly, we have more and more Americans who depend on gummint for all of their needs. They want the gummint to take care of them rather than they taking care of themselves. A prime example of that are our inner city blacks who are poor and uneducated but keep voting for those (Dimocrats) who have kept them that way as long as the gummint checks keep coming.

If the Founding Fathers were to return today, they wouldn’t recognize the Republic that they built. The level of taxation would amaze them compareed to the level of taxation that was the cause of the Revolution. Those taxes were a pittance compared to what the populace (or at least half of it) pays today.

We have a ruling class that looks on the Constitution not as a blueprint for gummint but as an impediment to growing the size of gummint and turning our country into their vision of a socialist utopia. Even though socialism has been an abject failure everywhere it’s been tried, these buttheads believe it’s because the right people haven’t been in charge and they (Obungler, Horrible Harry, exSpeaker Blinky, and Thunder Rodent Thighs) are the right people and by golly, this time they’ll make it work. Just wait until scamnesty is passed (Thanks Rubio, McRINO, and McRINO’s Mini-me, little Lindsey Graham), Dimocrats will achieve a permanent majority in this country and the rest of the country will turn into California. Goodbye Republican Party. You can thank the above idiots for making you into a permanent minority party.

Year by year there is more dependence and less independence. In a few more years we may as change it to Dependence Day.

I weep for my beloved country.