Those aren’t just huge aureoles. If one looks closely they are the world’s largest ZITS…..and that’s not a misspelling of TITS. OMFG I’ve never seen anything as repulsive as those boobage caps since the Alien popped out of that dude’s chest. This lady may b the nicest, most intelligent (I doubt it) female since Mary Magdalene, but those aureoles need to be shrunk down to about 1/10 scale. While were on the aureole subject they look like she bent over and dipped them into a bucket of Clorox. They are pasty, ashen and bloodless cankers. Geeze lady get to a tattoo parlour and if you can’t afford Dr. Finkelstein’s aureole reduction surgery at least have the tat artist pump about a quart of red dye into each one.
Oh by the way I’m doing some research which will add to the general knowledge of mankind and may even help pull Detroit out of its current bankrupt situation. As many of you astute folks (rayvet especially) may well know the folklore about male pigs (boars) having 30 minute orgasms is completely false. In fact the record has been recorded as less than 4 minutes. So in order to debunk the many false urban legends I propose setting up a real urban legend debunker lab in Detroit. A huge laboratory comprising the entire city where people and organizations could go to prove or disprove their unproven theories. My project is to prove or disprove the much touted theory that blacks have thicker skulls than whites. I’m still working on a model of how to exactly prove this and maybe one of you could suggest a method.
Anyway, back to an abbreviated rating since I had to take more than a few swigs out of my bottle of original Bulgarian 20 year old Slivovitz.
1) Face: Actually kinda cute and from my expertise I detect a strain of real blondness in her long locks. How do I know that? Well for starters there aren’t any dark roots visible. Her hair appears to be blond or very light brown right down to the scalp. Also her eyebrows are a similar color. Sort of a butterscotch hue. Those two observations lead me to believe she’s an almost real blonde. On top of that her face is fairly attractive. Nice nose and well shaped lips. Rating: “B+”
2) Boobage: How can I state this kindly. Well for starters her boobs are sacks of blubber hanging off her chest. Absolutely no firmness. A young lady as this who has the boobs of an 85 year old is in real trouble. Plus the previous described aureoles are the most unattractive items since the official White House photo of Barack and Michelle was unveiled. Sorry maam, I realize you have a wonderful personality and can probably suck the Chrome off a trailer-hitch afrom 20 yards, but that doesn’t prevent me from rating those boobs: “F”.
3: Arms: Nice, slender and well formed. Rating: “C+”
Toejam’s overall rating barely a “D-”
I know Benny’s been in some pain lately, but did he have to inflict these painful to look at boobs on us? Or was it the Zimmerman acquittal black rampage that put him in the mood to destroy our Saturday morning boners? In any event there’s:
There’s always next Saturday,
For dreams of fantastic boobage to come true,
Believe in your dreams
Come the mammaries what may.
There’s always next Saturday,
With so much to do,
And so little time in a day.
We all pretend
The rainbow has an end
And you’ll be there my lovely boobage on Saturday.
PS: Anyone interested my birthday is next Tuesday (23 July)
“A” rating. hair, tits look real. a natural blond bush i suspect. natural tit sag which is best for shaking. big nipples indicate degree of hornyness. anything else you want to know?
We all know how this will go with certain “reviewers”.
Is it my imagination or is she staring at me?
Two-tone hubcap shaped nips? Toe-jam will spaz out! Personally, I think she’s hot.
They’re staring at me. I do believe they’re trying to hypnotize me.
TJ is gonna Luv this (not )
On another note, big Jim and the twins would luv her.
Very very nice
Those aren’t just huge aureoles. If one looks closely they are the world’s largest ZITS…..and that’s not a misspelling of TITS. OMFG I’ve never seen anything as repulsive as those boobage caps since the Alien popped out of that dude’s chest. This lady may b the nicest, most intelligent (I doubt it) female since Mary Magdalene, but those aureoles need to be shrunk down to about 1/10 scale. While were on the aureole subject they look like she bent over and dipped them into a bucket of Clorox. They are pasty, ashen and bloodless cankers. Geeze lady get to a tattoo parlour and if you can’t afford Dr. Finkelstein’s aureole reduction surgery at least have the tat artist pump about a quart of red dye into each one.
Oh by the way I’m doing some research which will add to the general knowledge of mankind and may even help pull Detroit out of its current bankrupt situation. As many of you astute folks (rayvet especially) may well know the folklore about male pigs (boars) having 30 minute orgasms is completely false. In fact the record has been recorded as less than 4 minutes. So in order to debunk the many false urban legends I propose setting up a real urban legend debunker lab in Detroit. A huge laboratory comprising the entire city where people and organizations could go to prove or disprove their unproven theories. My project is to prove or disprove the much touted theory that blacks have thicker skulls than whites. I’m still working on a model of how to exactly prove this and maybe one of you could suggest a method.
Anyway, back to an abbreviated rating since I had to take more than a few swigs out of my bottle of original Bulgarian 20 year old Slivovitz.
1) Face: Actually kinda cute and from my expertise I detect a strain of real blondness in her long locks. How do I know that? Well for starters there aren’t any dark roots visible. Her hair appears to be blond or very light brown right down to the scalp. Also her eyebrows are a similar color. Sort of a butterscotch hue. Those two observations lead me to believe she’s an almost real blonde. On top of that her face is fairly attractive. Nice nose and well shaped lips. Rating: “B+”
2) Boobage: How can I state this kindly. Well for starters her boobs are sacks of blubber hanging off her chest. Absolutely no firmness. A young lady as this who has the boobs of an 85 year old is in real trouble. Plus the previous described aureoles are the most unattractive items since the official White House photo of Barack and Michelle was unveiled. Sorry maam, I realize you have a wonderful personality and can probably suck the Chrome off a trailer-hitch afrom 20 yards, but that doesn’t prevent me from rating those boobs: “F”.
3: Arms: Nice, slender and well formed. Rating: “C+”
Toejam’s overall rating barely a “D-”
I know Benny’s been in some pain lately, but did he have to inflict these painful to look at boobs on us? Or was it the Zimmerman acquittal black rampage that put him in the mood to destroy our Saturday morning boners? In any event there’s:
There’s always next Saturday,
For dreams of fantastic boobage to come true,
Believe in your dreams
Come the mammaries what may.
There’s always next Saturday,
With so much to do,
And so little time in a day.
We all pretend
The rainbow has an end
And you’ll be there my lovely boobage on Saturday.
PS: Anyone interested my birthday is next Tuesday (23 July)
What planet does Toejam come from and will they take him back or are we stuck with him?
Stick one in yer Ear, the other ‘un in yer Mouth, & say, “Helloooooooo, Heaven !” (grin)
T.J just has trouble enjoying the beauty of the fair sex in all of its breath taking forms — enuff said
Toejam’s an honest evaluator of the female body. I calls ’em likes I sees ’em! And sometime I require a little eye-bleach rinse after the viewing
Hey Toejam,
If she turns up on your doorstep with those boobs popped out looking for some caressing and suckage, and you refuse, please send her to my house.
I’ll lower my standards and give the poorly-rated girl a place to play for the night.
I’ll owe ya one. Thanks..!
Toejam has highly subjective opinions. Lucky for the rest of us and all you bountiful, boobular, bouncing beauties out there.
“A” rating. hair, tits look real. a natural blond bush i suspect. natural tit sag which is best for shaking. big nipples indicate degree of hornyness. anything else you want to know?
TJ must have hit himself in the head with that bottle, anyone who would rate those tits an “F” must be half a fag.