Tan lines? Is that what’s causing an aureole explosion? It seems like every babe for the last several weeks has had a burnt hide and monstrous, pale aureoles. Golly, they appear to be a pair of one-eyed albino voles. I guess it come down to contrast. Too bad these women don’t do their tanning topless. But that might just cause those ashen aureoles to turn into charred chunks of titty toppings. OMFG, I just enlarged the picture and what almost took my eye out….literally? That beak the size of the prow of the Battleship New Jersey. Along with reducing those aureoles she’d better consider a little liposuction on the schnozolla. And that brings us to her ethnic background, which I believe is rooted somewhere in the Mediterranean. Greece? Italy? Or maybe Turkey? At this point the subject is nor important. All I know from my extensive, professional experience of studying female anatomy she’s not Swedish. OK, now I’ve laid the groundwork for today’s rating let’s get down on or rather to the details.
1) Face: Oof, this is gonna be difficult. I gotta be diplomatic but I must also be the consummate professional. That bulbous nasal mass just jumps out of the picture and like a Saturn V sitting on the launch pad it is frigging overwhelming. Heck, Dr. Finkelstein will require a crate of C4 to blast that thing down to a point where he can work on it without standing in a fully extended Cherry-picker. OK, her teeth and hair come in as being OK. OK for a babe whose Mediterranean background guarantees her body hair is the consistency of a steel scrub brush and the hue of a black cat seen at midnight on a cloudy day. Damn, if I don’t see 5 O’clock shadow above her pearly white teeth. That looks as if she were to neglect to swab her upper lip with extra-strength Nair for a day or two she’d be mistaken for Thomas Magnum. Sorry Honey I gotta be honest and rate: “C-“.
2) Boobage: Oh those awful aureoles are burning my retinas. Besides those wicked warts the rest of the boobage isn’t too bad. Definitely natural, not too big and they display that nicely shaped succulent firmness I’d like to gently squeeze with my hands. Rating: “B+”.
3) Torso: Her finest attribute. Firm tummy with a hip-flare designed to accentuate her female form. Her skin tone is flawless. WAIT! I spy camel toe. Yup look closely at the bottom of that florescent orange twat tent. I know a genuine toe when I see one and I’m willing to bet she’s gone to the trouble of hacking that brillo pad covering off her pubic area too. That’s the only way a genuine camel toe can be spotted. They tend to use the bush as excellent cover to evade even the most ardent toe hunters. Full marks for that little exhibition. Rating: “A+”.
4) Legs: I can only see a very small portion of her lower appendages, but from their fine slender shape I’d say the rest of her sweet limbs are very nice. Rating: “A”.
OK, as we’ve seen the lower we travel down this tanned specimen the better things look. So, considering the few faults I’d have to give her an overall Toejam rating of: “B”. And I must add she has a friendly, come-hither smile that adds to her overall allure. So échoun mia o̱raía kyría i̱méras néous or avere un giorno gentile signorina or maybe even güzel bir gün genç bir bayan var. Whatever your language it’s been a pleasure casting my optical organs gaze over you maam.
It’s a funny coincidence I had a dream about you and believe me the results were the equivelent of taking a full bottle of Viagra. I guess once you’ve fallen in love with someone a small yearning still manages to imbed itself in the frontal lobe and will never vanish.
Yup, Tuesday the 23rd of July 2013 I saw the dawn of my 71st year. Alas, time goes by so quickly.
TJ, typically as we get older our appreciation of beautiful things becomes more expansive rather than narrowly focused. Ladies I wouldn’t have given a second thought to while in my 20’s I now find more intriguing as I approach my 60’s.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have a “type” I find irresistible but I am now more willing give more than a passing nod to beautiful ladies that don’t fall within that type.
A man who says he only drinks chardonnay is missing out on all the wonderful merlots, cabernets, and burgundys that also make up the reds.
But I’m afraid I burned my bridges with DDP. I went too far in my selfish desire to be united with this wonderful human being. Alas, life goes on and the red wine keep flowing. The sweet aroma of a fine, lusty New Zeland Pinot noir reminds me of DDP’s aromatic aura.
Toejam, did you notice the outboard edge of her left (our right) boob seems a little… oh, I dunno, squarish? Like maybe her implant had some wrinkles in it or something?
First thing I noticed after that monsterous honker was the square photoshopped boob. If you look closely you will note the orangish tint to the tanlines. Found one un retouched photo
Shawn…..
You just destroyed the fantasies of most of Denny`s regulars & you want to know what you won?
I do not know what you do for a living but if your dogged attention to detail in search of ultimate purity for the young lady is any example …..you have a bright future as an IRS Examiner if not already employed as such!
Just kidding!
Denny, you have made my day!!!
Hot damned. She is perfect for me. She has all the right stuff, in the proper proportions in the right places. Even my wife would have to understand.
That’ll make yer stecker pick out.
Very nice! Gotta love the amature babes…
Tan lines? Is that what’s causing an aureole explosion? It seems like every babe for the last several weeks has had a burnt hide and monstrous, pale aureoles. Golly, they appear to be a pair of one-eyed albino voles. I guess it come down to contrast. Too bad these women don’t do their tanning topless. But that might just cause those ashen aureoles to turn into charred chunks of titty toppings. OMFG, I just enlarged the picture and what almost took my eye out….literally? That beak the size of the prow of the Battleship New Jersey. Along with reducing those aureoles she’d better consider a little liposuction on the schnozolla. And that brings us to her ethnic background, which I believe is rooted somewhere in the Mediterranean. Greece? Italy? Or maybe Turkey? At this point the subject is nor important. All I know from my extensive, professional experience of studying female anatomy she’s not Swedish. OK, now I’ve laid the groundwork for today’s rating let’s get down on or rather to the details.
1) Face: Oof, this is gonna be difficult. I gotta be diplomatic but I must also be the consummate professional. That bulbous nasal mass just jumps out of the picture and like a Saturn V sitting on the launch pad it is frigging overwhelming. Heck, Dr. Finkelstein will require a crate of C4 to blast that thing down to a point where he can work on it without standing in a fully extended Cherry-picker. OK, her teeth and hair come in as being OK. OK for a babe whose Mediterranean background guarantees her body hair is the consistency of a steel scrub brush and the hue of a black cat seen at midnight on a cloudy day. Damn, if I don’t see 5 O’clock shadow above her pearly white teeth. That looks as if she were to neglect to swab her upper lip with extra-strength Nair for a day or two she’d be mistaken for Thomas Magnum. Sorry Honey I gotta be honest and rate: “C-“.
2) Boobage: Oh those awful aureoles are burning my retinas. Besides those wicked warts the rest of the boobage isn’t too bad. Definitely natural, not too big and they display that nicely shaped succulent firmness I’d like to gently squeeze with my hands. Rating: “B+”.
3) Torso: Her finest attribute. Firm tummy with a hip-flare designed to accentuate her female form. Her skin tone is flawless. WAIT! I spy camel toe. Yup look closely at the bottom of that florescent orange twat tent. I know a genuine toe when I see one and I’m willing to bet she’s gone to the trouble of hacking that brillo pad covering off her pubic area too. That’s the only way a genuine camel toe can be spotted. They tend to use the bush as excellent cover to evade even the most ardent toe hunters. Full marks for that little exhibition. Rating: “A+”.
4) Legs: I can only see a very small portion of her lower appendages, but from their fine slender shape I’d say the rest of her sweet limbs are very nice. Rating: “A”.
OK, as we’ve seen the lower we travel down this tanned specimen the better things look. So, considering the few faults I’d have to give her an overall Toejam rating of: “B”. And I must add she has a friendly, come-hither smile that adds to her overall allure. So échoun mia o̱raía kyría i̱méras néous or avere un giorno gentile signorina or maybe even güzel bir gün genç bir bayan var. Whatever your language it’s been a pleasure casting my optical organs gaze over you maam.
Hey there Mr. Toejam~
Just dropped in to wish you a happy B~day! (It was just last Tuesday, no?)
Thinking of you from the sunny Oregon coast~
~XxxOoo
High sweety,
It’s a funny coincidence I had a dream about you and believe me the results were the equivelent of taking a full bottle of Viagra. I guess once you’ve fallen in love with someone a small yearning still manages to imbed itself in the frontal lobe and will never vanish.
Yup, Tuesday the 23rd of July 2013 I saw the dawn of my 71st year. Alas, time goes by so quickly.
This one’s for you DDP: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZvcG0E96Mc
Awww Toejam….
There will always be a soft spot in my heart for you.
~XxxOoo
TJ, typically as we get older our appreciation of beautiful things becomes more expansive rather than narrowly focused. Ladies I wouldn’t have given a second thought to while in my 20’s I now find more intriguing as I approach my 60’s.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have a “type” I find irresistible but I am now more willing give more than a passing nod to beautiful ladies that don’t fall within that type.
A man who says he only drinks chardonnay is missing out on all the wonderful merlots, cabernets, and burgundys that also make up the reds.
Totally agree my friend.
But I’m afraid I burned my bridges with DDP. I went too far in my selfish desire to be united with this wonderful human being. Alas, life goes on and the red wine keep flowing. The sweet aroma of a fine, lusty New Zeland Pinot noir reminds me of DDP’s aromatic aura.
Toejam, did you notice the outboard edge of her left (our right) boob seems a little… oh, I dunno, squarish? Like maybe her implant had some wrinkles in it or something?
Discuss.
Can anyone say photoshop. Those don’t belong to her, but a surgeon had nothing to do with it.
First thing I noticed after that monsterous honker was the square photoshopped boob. If you look closely you will note the orangish tint to the tanlines. Found one un retouched photo
http://img106.imagevenue.com/loc473/th_13689_DSC03628_123_473lo.JPG
I called it. What do I win?
Shawn…..
You just destroyed the fantasies of most of Denny`s regulars & you want to know what you won?
I do not know what you do for a living but if your dogged attention to detail in search of ultimate purity for the young lady is any example …..you have a bright future as an IRS Examiner if not already employed as such!
Just kidding!
Shawn – You win the Who Gives a Fuck Award.
I knew there was a prize involved.