Amy sent me this one.
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in
front of an old green John Deere tractor.
Buttocks clenched, Billy Bob performs a slow pirouette and gently
slides off, first, the right strap of his overalls, followed by the
left. He then hunches his shoulders forward, and, in a classic
striptease move, he lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing
a frayed plaid shirt.
Grabbing both sides of his shirt he rips it apart to reveal his
T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from
his body and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, “What the heck are you
doing, Billy Bob?”
“Jeez, Cletus, ya’ scared the crap outta’ me!” says Billy Bob. Then,
obviously embarrassed, he says, “Me and the old lady been having
trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist suggested …
… I do something sexy to a tractor.”
You don’t want to know what the Farmer normally does in the barn now do ya”
….did it work?
Ok. You deserve this…..
I grew up in Egypt, Oklahoma. Every year we had a barn dance around Thanksgiving in Ole Bill from the Hill’s barn. An annual thing, centerpiece of the year. In 1983 the damn barn caught fire, burned to the terra firma two days before the dance was scheduled. So the mayor, up for re-election, not to be outdone, came up with an idea. There was a big traveling circus in the next county over from us and since they were done there and about for the road, he convinced the owner of the circus to set up in our county for one day so we could still have the annual barn dance. So they did that. And this being the 1980’s, once they had the big top erected, they installed one of those giant disco balls at the top of the inside of the tent. Everyone had a great time and it went down in history. We still refer to it as “The Winter of Our Disco-Tent”
Stienbeck is rolling over in his grave right now…..
All right, Bill, this one is as good as any pun I’ve read in years.
Tractors ok, but for a real serious lesson he shoulda used a reaper.
It’s your turn, Claudia. Surely you can do beter than these guys.
Now that was disturbing
The Deere man can’t field very good now. It’s udder destruction to try to copy a Huge Heifer from a Home on the Range. The farmer would knead a much more luxurious dickor to succeed. I’m not a neigh sayer. But he should stop to play with a dead Deere. Let him but in a saddle, stir up a foal and giddy up. It’s pure horse sense to feel up your oats in order to be hungry and well hung at feeding time.
Sorry to be late for pun night, friends.