Is there a boob behind that nipple? Enlarge?Enlarge? Enlarge? If those nipple were any bigger they’d rival those UFO’s in Independence day. However, I must say, if she really HAD to motor boat me, I feel like I would have to allow her the honor.
Better late than premature. That’s what many girlfriends have solemly told me after 4 hours of solemn sweat producing (no stopping for piss calls) sex. I had some projects that need completing before I flipped the computer switch. Now they’re completed let’s focus in on the aureole monster. Sorry, I know the lady is no monster and she got what she was born with but those Aunt Jemima flapjacks on her lovely tits wouldn’t impress me even if they had 100% pure Vermont Maple syrup dripping off them. Alas, Denny strikes again. But I’m gonna get even for Christmas. One of my projects is to find a North Carolina girl who has 36D’s and 2 inch long nipples adorning them but absolutely NO aureoles at all. Then I’m driving the couple hours to his princely abode and Duct-taping those aureole free zoomers to his eyeballs. Hell, he can’t run away. I got him. 😉
OK, times fleeting so let’s get on with it.
1) Face: strawberry blonde hair a bit tousled, but I’ve long since stopped complaining about women’s hairdos since I was thumbing through circa 1962 pictures of my former 1st wife. Yup, hair spray helmet that’d defy a 7.62 round fired from 20 yards. All the other features of her face are pretty nice. I know that snarl is suppose to project sexiness and vulnerability toward the prospective mate (See Sociology 101 wasn’t a total waste) but I’d prefer a smile even if it was a Barney Fife one. Rating: “B+”.
2) Boobage: Her mammary mass is certainly beautiful and those pert nipples a nice asset, but as I stated before she needs those aureole hubcaps altered down a dozen sizes. I’ve been contemplating the fact she might be slightly silicon altered, but I’ve come to the conclusion those beauties are all natural including the monster aureoles. Rating: “B-“.
3) Arms/torso: That’s about all that’s left for us evaluators. Pity, I’m certain her ling sexy legs would be a pleasure to cast my eyes on, Anyhoo, She possesses the usual toned, fine textured and flawless upper appendages and a nice firm torso. So those features will score some serious points. Rating: “A”.
Toejam overall rating: “B+”.
Sorry honey, you missed out on a better score by the aureole radius of 3 inches. Call me later and I’ll give you Dr. Finkelstein’s private number. And, no I don’t receive a cent for referrals.
OK the sun’s shining, the temperature’s up and it’s time to mount old Besse and ride the range. It’s a pity that such beautiful country is wasted on morons texting, calling, sipping Starbuck latte and driving all at the same time. But that’s life in 21st century America and what has brought us to Obama’s dictatorship. Fool soccer moms with kiddies aboard tooling around in Toyota Tundras, Ford Explorers and Cadillac Esclades while daddy is banging his 20 year his junior secretary in a local pay by the hour no-tell-motel.
Hope ya’ll had a happy Thanksgiving and followed my pre-meal recipe for a fun and satisfying day in last Saturday’s boobage report.
Toejam, you are balm to the senses. When I was a horny lad, decades ago, USA Playboy had pneumatic women with large aureoles. So we thought that is just what goes in ole USA – large aureoles are either the norm, or the more desirable. Pleasing that you are a voice of sanity.
Now, I have been cogitating, and I think I have an explanation. It is based on the analogy of a puncture in a farm tractor tyre. After much wrestling you held a limpish inner tube, and needed to find the leak/hole. So slowly put air into the tube, and sometimes the the leak could be found when the weak spot around it become swollen and extended.
Maybe it is the same with aureoles. You just need to put less air (or silicone) in those tubes!
Perfect for Thanksgiving, big breasts, with lots of yummy white meat. Not that your Thanksgiving Day serving wasn’t also delicious.
perfect
Is there a boob behind that nipple? Enlarge?Enlarge? Enlarge? If those nipple were any bigger they’d rival those UFO’s in Independence day. However, I must say, if she really HAD to motor boat me, I feel like I would have to allow her the honor.
Better late than premature. That’s what many girlfriends have solemly told me after 4 hours of solemn sweat producing (no stopping for piss calls) sex. I had some projects that need completing before I flipped the computer switch. Now they’re completed let’s focus in on the aureole monster. Sorry, I know the lady is no monster and she got what she was born with but those Aunt Jemima flapjacks on her lovely tits wouldn’t impress me even if they had 100% pure Vermont Maple syrup dripping off them. Alas, Denny strikes again. But I’m gonna get even for Christmas. One of my projects is to find a North Carolina girl who has 36D’s and 2 inch long nipples adorning them but absolutely NO aureoles at all. Then I’m driving the couple hours to his princely abode and Duct-taping those aureole free zoomers to his eyeballs. Hell, he can’t run away. I got him. 😉
OK, times fleeting so let’s get on with it.
1) Face: strawberry blonde hair a bit tousled, but I’ve long since stopped complaining about women’s hairdos since I was thumbing through circa 1962 pictures of my former 1st wife. Yup, hair spray helmet that’d defy a 7.62 round fired from 20 yards. All the other features of her face are pretty nice. I know that snarl is suppose to project sexiness and vulnerability toward the prospective mate (See Sociology 101 wasn’t a total waste) but I’d prefer a smile even if it was a Barney Fife one. Rating: “B+”.
2) Boobage: Her mammary mass is certainly beautiful and those pert nipples a nice asset, but as I stated before she needs those aureole hubcaps altered down a dozen sizes. I’ve been contemplating the fact she might be slightly silicon altered, but I’ve come to the conclusion those beauties are all natural including the monster aureoles. Rating: “B-“.
3) Arms/torso: That’s about all that’s left for us evaluators. Pity, I’m certain her ling sexy legs would be a pleasure to cast my eyes on, Anyhoo, She possesses the usual toned, fine textured and flawless upper appendages and a nice firm torso. So those features will score some serious points. Rating: “A”.
Toejam overall rating: “B+”.
Sorry honey, you missed out on a better score by the aureole radius of 3 inches. Call me later and I’ll give you Dr. Finkelstein’s private number. And, no I don’t receive a cent for referrals.
OK the sun’s shining, the temperature’s up and it’s time to mount old Besse and ride the range. It’s a pity that such beautiful country is wasted on morons texting, calling, sipping Starbuck latte and driving all at the same time. But that’s life in 21st century America and what has brought us to Obama’s dictatorship. Fool soccer moms with kiddies aboard tooling around in Toyota Tundras, Ford Explorers and Cadillac Esclades while daddy is banging his 20 year his junior secretary in a local pay by the hour no-tell-motel.
Hope ya’ll had a happy Thanksgiving and followed my pre-meal recipe for a fun and satisfying day in last Saturday’s boobage report.
Later gang.
Toejam, you are balm to the senses. When I was a horny lad, decades ago, USA Playboy had pneumatic women with large aureoles. So we thought that is just what goes in ole USA – large aureoles are either the norm, or the more desirable. Pleasing that you are a voice of sanity.
Now, I have been cogitating, and I think I have an explanation. It is based on the analogy of a puncture in a farm tractor tyre. After much wrestling you held a limpish inner tube, and needed to find the leak/hole. So slowly put air into the tube, and sometimes the the leak could be found when the weak spot around it become swollen and extended.
Maybe it is the same with aureoles. You just need to put less air (or silicone) in those tubes!
Thomas,
I’ll refer your concern to Dr. Finkelstein and Good Year tire company’s public relations department.
Incredibly suckable nipples
Beyond wonderful.