Mike sent me this one.
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in
and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooosh! Plop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, “Take another drink!”
The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay .. Swoooosh! Plip!Plop! Two arms pop out.
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, “Take another drink! Take another drink!”
The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.
The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,
“He should have quite while he was a head.”
Dude…
Seriously Denny?????????
Sigh,
I heard this one when Eisenhower was President.
And it was old then. But….. If you never heard it before, its a new joke.
we used to call jokes like this groaners!
Claudia, surely you can do a whole helluva lot better.
Loved it. I just love American humor.
It’s old stuff, and today, it might sound simply humerus. But make no bone about it. In President Eisenhower’s time, it was the headline of the day. The News anatomized the hair rising story from head to toe. When people put their heads together, they could see that the boy had no clothes that feet him. He simply lost his brainless head and ran out. That father definitely lacked spine. Instead of heading on the bar’s hurrahs, he should have muscled in and put his foot down to stop his growing boy. In that story, only the bartender had a leg to stand on.
Things could be worse. He could have been born just an asshole. That disadvantage seems to be useful in politics, though.
Good one, Peggy! If the bar was filled with dim assholes, nobody would have clapped hands when he developed a spine.
If I turned this alcohol related story into an “Irish” joke I’d be charged with a race crime.
http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Bed-Bath–Beyond-apologizes-to-Irish-and-removes-offensive-items-.html
That’s like the guy that found a girl on the beach. She had no arms or legs but was still quite beautiful.
She told the guy she’d never had sex before and wanted him badly.
He picked her up, cradling her in his arms and took out into the ocean where he promptly dropper saying, “Well, you’re fucked now!”