Brook sent me this one.
An uninformed voter hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. ‘How did this happen?’ the emergency
room doctor asked her.
‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the uninformed voter replied.
‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?’
‘No, silly’ the uninformed voter said. ‘First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants… I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’
‘So then?’ asked the doctor.
‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00
to get my teeth straightened I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’
‘So then?’
‘Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: ‘This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.
Her head is filled with sailboat fuel.
LOL! Sailboat fuel! May I borrow that?
LOL! That’s the best I’ve heard in a LONG time!
Feel free to use it. I’ve been saying that for forty years. I heard it from my brother and no telling when he heard it. It’s one of my favorite euphemisms for Idiot.
That’s an old blonde joke…here is a better one….I ran into an old high school buddy who was wearing a dress. I said “WTF” He said I got a sex change I’ve always had these weird feelings etc. etc
I ask didn’t it hurt when they cut your swands off?
He replied, “Yeah, that hurt a bit but the real pain was when they stuck the tube in my ear and sucked out half of my brain…..
When Gabby Giffords was shot the brain dead Democrat Croatian geezer at
at the paper mill ask me how she was survived being shot in the head like dat?
I told him that easy, she is a Democrat so no vital organ was involved!