Comes from Ron.

HRH, The iWon, decides to hold a golf tournament for IRS workers. The prize is established as a three-year immunity from federal prosecution. Nine hundred employees sign up for the coveted prize.

Finally the elimination-style, match-play, seeded-bracket tournament reduces the field down to two players: Danny Werfel and Doug Shulman.

The 18th hole is a classic dogleg-left par four blind tee shot which slopes into a tree-lined valley. Shulman and Werfel approach the tee with the match all square.

Both men hit nice, long tee shots which land over the crest of the fairway and run down the slope toward the creek on the left. A forecaddie runs up to where he can be seen from the tee and says that the balls are both in the fairway, side-by-side about a foot apart. Both are Titleist 1s.

Danny and Doug look at each other, realizing that they’d forgotten to announce what brand of ball they were playing and what number. Reaching their drives, they see that both their drives are in perfect position, but they’d need a ruling before hitting their second shots since they’d never declared the name and number of the ball they hit from the tee.

“With all the attention we’ve been getting lately in the press, we damned sure don’t want it to get out that we can’t even keep straight which golf ball is whose,” Werfel says, and Shulman is quick to agree.

They call Judge Incompetano out to clarify the issue. The Judge looks closely at the two Titleist #1 golf balls lying side-by-side and looks at the two men: “O.K. Which one of you is playing the orange ball?”

Ron sent me this.

I do respect the office. I do not respect the man occupying it. I said when he was elected I would give him the same respect that Dimocrats gave Chimpy McHalliburton Bushitler.

Back in 2008, Sarah Palin warned us about Putin invading Ukraine.

And, of course, the LSM propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party ridiculed her and called her an idiot. Who’s the idiot? Hey Thunder Rodent Thighs. How’s that “reset” going with Russia? You just know Putin and the Russian foreign minister got a belly laugh out of that stupid button. Who’s the idiot? In 2012, Mittens warned us of Russia and Obungler laughed at him. Who’s the idiot?

Are Dimocrats naive, stupid, or do they just hate America? In Obumbler’s case, I think it’s all three. He is the first president I can think of who actually hates this country. This is what happens when you combine affirmative action Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) with the Peter Principle. I saw it at IBM. We are seeing it with Obummercare and “smart diplomacy”, which really worked in Benghazi, Syria, Iran, and now Ukraine. But we did get our first black president and with either Thunder Rodent Thighs or Fauxchohantas we’ll prolly get our first female president. Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) trumps competence.

Wouldn’t it be nice if Oblunder hated our country’s enemies as much as he hates Republicans?

Thanks uninformed voters for reelecting this shit weasel. At least Jimmah Carter is happy. He’s no longer the worst president in history.

And another thing, The LSM propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party is reporting that this was a big surprise to the intelligence community. WTF? All they had to do was read Tom Clancy’s last novel, Command Authority. Russia’s invasion of Crimea was part of the plot.

So Sarah Palin got it right, Mittens got it right, (and they were both ridiculed) and Tom Clancy got it right. Obeavis, his State Department, and his intelligence organizations were all surprised. We’ve got the wrong people running the country. Unfortunately, we’ve also got the wrong people voting for these incompetent idiots. Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) and white guilt trumped competence. I saw it at IBM and I’m seeing it in our gummint.

We’re doomed!

My friend Pres sent this to me.

Let me add my two cents to this. Dear Tryavon’s worthless mom: Why was your little angel living with your father’s girlfriend 300 miles away? Why wasn’t he home with you? It was because he had been suspended from school for being in possession of stolen jewelry. By rights, he should have been in jail, but the local police were trying to keep crime statistics down. You couldn’t handle your precious little boy. You couldn’t keep him out of the local gangs, so you sent him north to live with his father’s girlfriend. If you had been a better mother your wannabe thug kid would still be alive today. Go peddle your bullshit somewhere else. I’m sick of hearing about it. You failed as a mother and Trayvon failed as a thug. He got exactly what he deserved. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

This is the smart diplomacy the Dimocrats bragged about. Toejam sent me this one.

Remember, during the Cold War, most Dimocrats wanted us to appease the USSR. Those same Dimocrats, and their leader, Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade, feel the same way about Russia. Some things never change.

This one from Pres is for Dr. Ray, the Foothills Vet.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a
few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room.00
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried,
“$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If
you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but
with the… (more…)

Baroque Metal sent to me by Joe. Check out the Angus Young move at the very end.

The audience appears to be Thunderstruck.

Nice Angus Young move at the end.

Noted Flamenco guitarist, Paco de Lucia died this week. He was only 66. This is a video of him when he was a lot younger.

And another when he was a little older.

Roman sen me this one. The first time I heard it was from Justin Wilson, the Cooking Cajun, and he made it a Cajun joke.

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat
down next to an uninformed voter at the bar and stared up
at the TV. The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was
covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building
preparing to jump.

The uninformed voter looked at Bob and said, “Do
you think he’ll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The uninformed voter replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the uninformed voter placed his money on the bar, the
guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building,
falling to his death.

The uninformed voter was very upset, but willingly handed
his $20 to Bob. “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this
earlier on the 5 PM news, I knew he would jump.”

The uninformed voter replied, “I did, too, but I
didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Bob took the money.

AlphaDelta sent me this one. Black hair. (more…)