This one is from Richard.
Betty had just bought a new computer and was already having trouble. The monitor was much bigger than on her last computer. And everything on the screen was now too small to read. She was having an especially hard time reading recipes. And she needed to make a venison dish for a New Years Eve event.
Frustrated, she took the computer into a repair shop. A helpful technician tweaked the display settings until she could read the recipe.
A friend later asked her why her monitor was so readable. Betty replied,
“It’s thanks to my Stewed-Deer resolution.”
And some bonus puns.
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
I always get lost driving on New Year’s Eve. I blame the Old Lane Signs.
Too bad I didn’t post this one on New Years’.
Too bad you posted it at all.
Monday Monday, can’t trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday,
“I hate Mondays”
So said Ms. Lynette Alice “Squeaky” Fromme
Since I’m retired Monday’s no different from any other day.
Monday is the last day of my work week. Then its back to work on Wednesday.
It must have been quite a dishtraction to reindeer you unable to stew pun with Monday. No punic. If it’s an Ea-stir’s rissolution, it won’t last; the word will soon resurrect and be cooked again, with even more spices. You always knew how to tweak up dead readers.