Quick everyone. There’s two man hole covers missing in the New York City streets. This woman stole them to use as pasties. Be careful not to fall into the holes. Somehow I suspect motorboating these puppies will result in a concusion. An injury I would be glad to sustain.
Come on Denny. What’s with the aureole torture you’re inflicting on my eyes.
You get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of making me barf up my breakfast of soft scrambled eggs and scrapple?
This babe has many fine attributes but them saucers on the end of her “enhanced” boobs are bigger than the snow-cap on top of Mount Washington in January.
As a matter of fact Al Gore is investigating them as a primary reason for global warming. That’s right. Bet you didn’t know mammoth aureoles absorb sunlight and emit huge amounts of CO2 in the form of TF (Tit Flatuence)?
AH, let me get on with today’s analysis and head for the barf bowl.
1) Face: Kinda cute in an exotic way. The down side is the faux blonde hair, the neck tat and finally all that metallic shit hanging off her ear. How the hell is a guy gonna mine for ear-wax when his tongue gets lacerated by all that junk? I’m gonna have to rate her on the low side. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: Besides the ugly aureoles them sacks are mostly silicon and the job was done by a rank amateur to boot. They’re about twice the size of my neighbor’s hot-air balloon. The one that’s 3 stories high and shaped like a pair of vulvas. It’s great to watch him fill them lips with Helium and see the pink 30 foot tall labia take shape. I’ll try to send some pics next time he gets ready to soar into the stratosphere hanging in a clitoris shaped wicker basket below those bloated flesh colored gas bags. Rating: “C-“.
3) Arms and skin tone: About the only assets this lady has to offer that approach an “A”. Her arms are nice and slender and skin the perfect image of a flawless female pelt. I’d love to get a glance at her legs. Bet those beauties would raise her overall rating by 2 points. Alas, that’s not to be. Rating: “B+”.
Toejam overall rating; a generous: “C”. Sorry Miss, you just don’t make the cut.
DDP, I’m saying hi and I want to let you know I miss you a huge amount. I’m hornier than a 2-peckered billy goat.
Time to hit the road gang. I have to do some yard work before the sun rises over the yardarm. Killing those dandelions one at a time with my toenail clippers is hard work, but I get a great deal of satisfaction out of hearing their dying screams.
Sorry I missed you last week. I was at a Gay Pride event. I taped some delicious girl on girl action for you, because I know how much you like to watch.
You know how much boob on boob action gets me going for you!
She is a lovely young lady. The breasts are enhanced evidenced by the boob to upper arm ratio, but who cares in the dark. Why do some young, beautiful women get tattoos-on their necks, no less? To me, it reeks of identity-seeking of the shallowest sort. That said, I would gladly …and then hurry back to The
Palm Tree Tavern for Tinsley Ellis’ second set!
tattoo = tramp stamp. My nephew married a hot chick who had five tattoos and a pierced tongue. I was pretty sure she was gonna turn out to be a slut. He caught her cheating on him, but not before they had twin daughters. They’re now divorced and he is now married to a woman he met who was a corpsman in the Navy. She doesn’t have any tattoos. She’s not as hot as his first wife, but she seems a lot nicer. He’s now a warrant officer and taking helicopter flight training and she’s helping him study for his classes. We like this one a lot better than the first one.
Click on picture to enlarge. Dam I clicked on it twice and they knocked me out of my seat.
Just like My Wife’s set of sweater puppies.
:-).
This is gonna be fun. Denny, I hope that you feel at least a little guilt for tweaking TJ like this.
None at all. I ascribe to the aureole to boob ratio. The bigger the boobs, the larger the aureoles. This girl fits my proportions.
Quick everyone. There’s two man hole covers missing in the New York City streets. This woman stole them to use as pasties. Be careful not to fall into the holes. Somehow I suspect motorboating these puppies will result in a concusion. An injury I would be glad to sustain.
Come on Denny. What’s with the aureole torture you’re inflicting on my eyes.
You get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of making me barf up my breakfast of soft scrambled eggs and scrapple?
This babe has many fine attributes but them saucers on the end of her “enhanced” boobs are bigger than the snow-cap on top of Mount Washington in January.
As a matter of fact Al Gore is investigating them as a primary reason for global warming. That’s right. Bet you didn’t know mammoth aureoles absorb sunlight and emit huge amounts of CO2 in the form of TF (Tit Flatuence)?
AH, let me get on with today’s analysis and head for the barf bowl.
1) Face: Kinda cute in an exotic way. The down side is the faux blonde hair, the neck tat and finally all that metallic shit hanging off her ear. How the hell is a guy gonna mine for ear-wax when his tongue gets lacerated by all that junk? I’m gonna have to rate her on the low side. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: Besides the ugly aureoles them sacks are mostly silicon and the job was done by a rank amateur to boot. They’re about twice the size of my neighbor’s hot-air balloon. The one that’s 3 stories high and shaped like a pair of vulvas. It’s great to watch him fill them lips with Helium and see the pink 30 foot tall labia take shape. I’ll try to send some pics next time he gets ready to soar into the stratosphere hanging in a clitoris shaped wicker basket below those bloated flesh colored gas bags. Rating: “C-“.
3) Arms and skin tone: About the only assets this lady has to offer that approach an “A”. Her arms are nice and slender and skin the perfect image of a flawless female pelt. I’d love to get a glance at her legs. Bet those beauties would raise her overall rating by 2 points. Alas, that’s not to be. Rating: “B+”.
Toejam overall rating; a generous: “C”. Sorry Miss, you just don’t make the cut.
DDP, I’m saying hi and I want to let you know I miss you a huge amount. I’m hornier than a 2-peckered billy goat.
Time to hit the road gang. I have to do some yard work before the sun rises over the yardarm. Killing those dandelions one at a time with my toenail clippers is hard work, but I get a great deal of satisfaction out of hearing their dying screams.
Awww Toejam~
Sorry I missed you last week. I was at a Gay Pride event. I taped some delicious girl on girl action for you, because I know how much you like to watch.
You know how much boob on boob action gets me going for you!
XxxOoo~
Denny,
Thanks pal, I was having crappy week and this put a smile back on my face. I can always count on you to come through on Saturday.
I have contacted this wonderful creature to ask her assistance in my committing suicide by suffocation. Hope to a response shortly.
Hand bra! I just realized what I want to be when I grow up.
She is a lovely young lady. The breasts are enhanced evidenced by the boob to upper arm ratio, but who cares in the dark. Why do some young, beautiful women get tattoos-on their necks, no less? To me, it reeks of identity-seeking of the shallowest sort. That said, I would gladly …and then hurry back to The
Palm Tree Tavern for Tinsley Ellis’ second set!
tattoo = tramp stamp. My nephew married a hot chick who had five tattoos and a pierced tongue. I was pretty sure she was gonna turn out to be a slut. He caught her cheating on him, but not before they had twin daughters. They’re now divorced and he is now married to a woman he met who was a corpsman in the Navy. She doesn’t have any tattoos. She’s not as hot as his first wife, but she seems a lot nicer. He’s now a warrant officer and taking helicopter flight training and she’s helping him study for his classes. We like this one a lot better than the first one.
President Obungler just emailed Denny.
It’s pronounced “Corpse Man”. 🙁
Proverbs 12:4
That Book of code is a motherfucker, isn’t it?
I might be wrong..but I think her boobs are natural…
I think you’re right! Remember the Bell Curve…
Some schmuck will marry her, she’ll have a kid, and then turn into a 325lb human blob, within a year.