I’ve dealt with three different customer (no) service reps today and none of them were worth the time I had to spend with then. We have an epidemic of incompetence in this country. I’m giving it the name of dickheaditis. This also explains how Obungler got elected to a second term. On the upside, I think I’ve got the HOA off my ass for a few weeks.

We’re doomed!

Many readers have sent me this.

But you can’t criticize Obungler. That would be raaaaaaaacist.

I’d say schadenboner, but one look at Jill Abramson causes RIP my boner. She was fired from the New York Slimes (motto: All the news that fits our views) because she wanted more money since she thought she was underpaid because she was a woman. Exactly who is waging the War on Women? It’s like the Slimes is all for unions except for the unions that work for them.

My friend Michael thinks she is the most annoying liberal woman in the country. I said it’s Eleanor Clift. Michael’s wife, Cindy, said they were equally annoying and it is a tie.

They’re both rat bastard commie booger eatin’ moh-rons.

Thanks to Jon for taking the screenshot and sending it to me. My readers like to make things easy for me.

This one comes from the Castlemainian.

So, this Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely ‘impeccable’ (a term frequently used by
woodpeckers). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully
pecked the so-called ‘impeccable’ tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian
woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker
was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in
their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: (more…)

Josh sent me this cover of War Ensemble by Slayer on … ukelele? WTF?

Beautifully arranged and beautifully played! She’s playing a seven string classical guitar. First time I’ve ever seen one of those.

Ron sent me this one.

A student went to Alabama on a football scholarship. (Substitute your own school here. We in Georgia like to pick on Alabama and call it names like Alabamastan.) He was a great running back, but a poor student.

At graduation, he didn’t have enough credits. But he was a
great football star and the students, who were all uninformed voters, as are most college students outside of science, math and engineering, held a rally and demanded the dean give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the dean agreed if Quazaam could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.

The one question test was held in the auditorium and all the uninformed voter
students packed the place. It was standing room only.

The dean was on the stage and told him to come up. The dean had the
diploma in his hand and said, “sir, if you can answer this question
correctly I’ll give you your diploma.” He said he was ready and the dean
asked him the question. “Sir,” he said, “How much is three times seven?”

He looked up at the ceiling and the down at his shoes, just
pondering the question. The Alabama students began chanting, “Graduate him
anyway! Graduate him anyway!”

Then he held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. he said,
“I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one.”

A hush fell over the auditorium and the students began
another chant. “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

Randy sent me this one. (more…)

So who’s gonna win the coveted AOTW Award this week? T. Rogers nominated the Brady Gun Control group.

“Monday evening’s Town Hall Seattle forum featuring top local and national spokesmen for gun control might better have been a discussion about world-class hypocrisy, since a sign on the door advised that guns were prohibited, and yet the anti-gunners were protected by armed security.

Headlining the event was Brady Campaign President Dan Gross and Washington CeaseFire President Ralph Fascitelli. Town Hall Seattle had a sign in the glass door stating “No firearms allowed in the building. Thank you for your cooperation.” Inside was a visibly armed security guard.

It amounts to an acknowledgement that what Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, said 18 months ago is true. “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun,” he noted after Sandy Hook, and he was quickly criticized by gun control proponents who, considering last night’s event, evidently agree without admitting it.

Monday night’s forum, headlined “Gun reform: Where do we go from here,” was attended by about 50 people. The program was presented by Town Hall “in partnership” with CeaseFire as part of Town Hall’s “Civic Series.” But with the armed guard, the subject might have easily strayed into a discussion of hypocrisy.

It never applies to them. They have armed guards protecting them, but they don’t want us to have guns to protect ourselves. Hypocrites! All of them!

But I’m gonna give it to that raging left-wing loon Eleanore Clift. I used to watch the McLaughlin Group all the time and the most annoying person on that show was always Clift. Like most liberals progressives rat bastard commies she would interrupt everyone else but then she would get all huffy when someone had the temerity to interrupt her. Read the following exchange.

ELEANOR CLIFT: I would like to point out Ambassador Stevens was not murdered. He died of smoke inhalation in the safe room in that CIA installation.
SUSAN FERRECHIO: I don’t think that’s a fact, Eleanor.
CLIFT: I think that is a fact.

Right off the bat that statement is false because Eleanor is incapable of thinking.

FERRECHIO: I’ve heard a drastically different story from people who are also in the know about that. So, I don’t think it is —
PAT BUCHANAN: It was a terrorist attack, Eleanor. He was murdered in a terrorist attack.
CLIFT: It was an opportunistic terrorist attack that grew out of that video.
BUCHANAN: The video had nothing to do with it.
CLIFT: There were demonstrations across the world.

It makes me wonder, whom would she prefer to commit fellatio on, BJ or Obungler.

Here’s your award Eleanor.

Barry sent me this parody he wrote of the song When I Was a Lad from the Gilbert and Sullivan Operetta HMS Pinafore.

Obumbler.
When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Kenyan firm.
I smoked some dope and I took my pay,
And snuck right in to the USA.

Chorus.
He snuck right in to the USA.

Obumbler.
I snuck right in so carefully,
That now I have the honor of the Presidency!

Chorus.
He snuck right in so carefully,
That now he has the honor of the Presidency!

Obumbler.
As a college boy, just ‘cos I was black
They gave me a pass instead of the sack.
I looked at the tutors with a smile so bland,
And I copied other students in a big round hand.

Chorus.
He copied other students in a big round hand.

Obumbler.
I copied other students in a hand so free,
That now I have the honor of the Presidency!

Chorus.
He copied other students in a hand so free,
That now he has the honor of the Presidency!

Obumbler.
As a lazy bum I made such a name
That a community organizer I became;
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For dem folks to see dat ah wuz cute

Chorus.
For dem folks to see dat ah wuz cute

Obumbler.
That organiser job did so well for me,
That now I have the honor of the Presidency!

Chorus.
That organiser job did so well for he,
That now he has the honor of the Presidency!

Obumbler.
Of hiding the truth I acquired such a skill
That the Democrats accepted me with a will.
My political life took off right there,
It was the only thing where I showed flair.

Chorus.
Was the only thing where he showed flair.

Obumbler
But that kind of life so suited me,
That now I have the honor of the Presidency!

Chorus.
But that kind of life so suited he,
That now he has the honor of the Presidency!

Obumbler.
I grew so rich there was my need,
For a Senate seat to fuel my greed.
I always voted at my party’s call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

Chorus.
He never thought of thinking for himself at all.

Obumbler.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By giving me the honor of the Presidency!

Chorus.
He thought so little, they rewarded he
By giving him the honor of the Presidency!

Obumbler.
Now Democrats all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn’t yours and you’re Satan’s tool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

Chorus.
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

Obumbler.
Stay away from the truth, just lie like me,
And you all may be honored by the Presedencee!

Chorus.
Stay away from the truth, just lie like he,
And you all may be honored by the Presedencee!

I have so many talented readers!