Here we have Al Tawana Brawley Crown Heights Riots Freddie’s Fashion Mart Arson Sharpton demonstrating his mastery of reading words off a TelePrompTer.

You can see at the very end where he chokes on his own bullshit. I stole that line from Bill Quick.

Thanks to Randy for sending me this.

I’m a little confused here. I read that this series of 24 was gonna run for 12 weeks. I expected two hour episodes for 12 weeks. Instead we had two hours the first night, which 24 usually does and I expect two hours the last night like 24 usually does, so that means 10 weeks of one hour episodes? Wouldn’t that be 14?
Why not? In football we have the Big 10 conference, which has more than ten teams and the Big 12, which has less than twelve teams. This must be Common Core math.

Previously on 24. A summary of the first two hours and the major characters. And, were off!

Jack and Chloe find the pub where Drone Hacker and British Mandy went to after they escaped from Pruitt-Igoe. Jack finds the dead Drone Hacker in the loo (Brit for the john). Jack tells Chloe it was a professional killing so it’s either British Mandy or there is another player in the game. Jack conveniently finds British Mandy’s wig in the dumpster out back and tells Chloe she’s gonna have to track her by the device she’s carrying.

London must have great WiFi so Chloe easily hacks into the traffic cam network. She’s good! Chloe spots British Mandy entering the tube (Brit for subway) station. Chloe sees her getting on the train so she and Jack speed to the next station.

Meanwhile Kate is interviewing all of the drug dealers and they all refuse to talk. She finds out Basher is in charge and cold cocks him and she and Black Dude carry him to the CIA-mobile. I wonder how much Jeep paid to have 24 use Jeeps for the CIA-mobiles? This is after IBM Manager told them to release everyone and leave ’cause he doesn’t want the Brits to know that the CIA is running an op in London. Especially after the drone strike in Afghanistan. Kate, like Jack always did, disobeys him. What’s he gonna do? Fire her?

Jack and Chloe get to the next tube station before the train British Mandy is on gets there. In London traffic? Have any of you ever been to London? No way this happens, except in 24 Land. Jack gets down to the platform and gets on the train after Chloe tells him which car British Mandy is on. British Mandy sees Jack and pulls out her trusty switchblade, the one she used to kill Drone Hacker. Is she gonna try to knife Jack? Nope. She cuts her own leg and smears blood on her face. When the train gets to the station, she gets off and yells, “He’s trying to kill me!” Jack gives chase and has to swat the dudes trying to stop him out of the way. It gives British Mandy just enough time to elude Jack and get into a service tunnel which leads to an alternate exit.

Chloe has beat the train to the next station (In London traffic?) and is waiting outside to spot British Mandy. She sees a Brit family and is watching them when British Mandy emerges and gets in a cab. Jack gets in the car and asks how he missed her. She mumbles something about Morris and Prescott and how she got distracted. Turns out that they were Chloe’s husband and son. They were killed and Chloe said they were aiming at her and sumpin’ to do with Jack’s last day before he disappeared. I don’t remember Chloe being married and having a son, but 24 ended four years ago so my memory could be faulty. Jack comforts her but sez she needs to concentrate on the job or millions of people will die and how much he needs her.

Another Victoria’s Secret ad for the Incredible Bra.

Asshole Chief of Staff’s (ACOS) minion, Ron, brings in an executive order that Prez Biden needs to sign to turn Jack over to the Rooski’s if they ever catch him again. Audrey comes in and gives ACOS a ration of shit for the way he treated Prez Biden in the prep for his appearance before Parliament. As I said last week, looks like ACOS ain’t getting any tonight. He tells Audrey she has to talk Prez Biden out of appearing before Parliament because the MPs will tear him a new asshole. She sez she’ll try. After she leaves the room, he forges Prez Biden’s signature on the executive order. I wonder if Valerie Jarrett ever does that with Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade?

Chloe uses Interpol’s facial recognition program to get a match on British Mandy. Her name is Simone al Raghead. I’m gonna continue to call her British Mandy. The real Mandy is hotter and swings both ways, but they both are cold blooded killers. British Mandy has the Brit accent going for her.

Mummy turns out to be Margot al Raghead. She was radicalized when she met and married an al Qaeda commander, Muhammed al Raghead. He was killed and she barely escaped a drone attack authorized by Prez Biden so she has a bone to pick with him.

British Mandy shows up at Mummy’s house where she is working in her flower garden like a nice British matron. She sees British Mandy’s leg and asks what happened. She told her of her escape from the “unknown American”. They have a mother and daughter reunion and hug. I love to see a nice happy family of terrorists.

Inside Mummy’s house British Mandy’s brother is working on electronics. She gives him Drone Hacker’s device and he sez he used a non-standard H/W bus so he’s gonna have to do some work. Just pop on down to Radio Shack and get the required parts.

In walks a Mideastern dude. It’s British Mandy’s hubby. He’s not too pleased about her sleeping with Drone Hacker and him banging her like a screen door in a Midwestern tornado. It’s for “the cause” Mummy sez. She had to do the same thing when she was married to her late husband. “Give her a proper kiss.”

Jack and Chloe are back at the Hacker Den. Jack needs to get into the American Embassy to interview the drone controller, Tanner. Adrian reluctantly agrees to provide Jack with some counterfeit credentials so he can get into the embassy.

Meanwhile Kate and Black Dude are in the CIA-mobile with Basher, who refuses to talk. Kate tells Black Dude to pull into a graffiti covered tunnel populated with the Brit version of gangbangers. Kate found out that Basher had some trouble with the Tamil Boys for ripping them off on a drug deal and killing one of them. There they are! She unlocks the door and rolls down the window. Basher sings like a canary. Jack would have had to have broken a few fingers to get him to talk. I’m liking Kate more and more. She’s much more subtle. They would make a good team and she’s much hotter than Audrey.

Back to Mummy’s house where she is sewing up British Mandy’s leg. Without any anesthesia. British Mandy is dressed in only a sheet. Mummy asks more questions about Jack. If she knew who he was, she would be really worried.

Back in the CIA-mobile Black Dude tells Kate that she’s really sharp to track Jack and get Basher to talk. How did she miss her husband being a traitor? Kate doesn’t know. Maybe her husband was good in the sack. Where’s Basher? They must have let him go.

IBM Manager calls to give Kate another ration of shit and she tells him they got some good intel and were headed to the embassy to interview Tanner. So is Jack. Will their paths cross? Of course they will. Will they team up? They prolly will before the day is over.

Audrey tries to talk Prez Biden out of going before Parliament. He asks her if ACOS put her up to it. She sez she’s just concerned. She doesn’t tell him that ACOS ain’t getting any tonight.

Prez Biden is wearing a robe and according to the time, in just 16 minutes he’ll be dressed and and standing before Parliament. This is known as 24 time.

Jack has made it to the American Embassy. Obviously, Hacker Den is not very far away. Adrian enters sumpin’ into one of the female hacker’s computers. She tells him that what he entered is wrong and Jack will get caught. He strokes her cheek. So, is Adrian in cahoots with Dead Hacker or does he just hate Jack? He did tell Jack that he didn’t appreciate being asked favors “at the point of a gun”.

Back at Mummy’s house British Mandy’s hubby has found some of Mummy’s booze and poors himself a drink. British Mandy sez, “My mother would be furious if she knew you were drinking.”

He tells British Mandy he’s been having second thoughts about the terrorist act they’re gonna perform. He’s even having nightmares. She talks about killing and sez it’s not easy the first time. She pushes him back on the bed. All of a sudden we see Mummy watching this scene play out on a video display. She watches as British Mandy starts kissing her way down his body. What do you wanna bet that this dude gets killed by Mummy or British Mandy before the day is through?

The presidential motorcade pulls up in front of Parliament at 1:54. That means it only took Prez Biden eight minutes to get dressed and get to Parliament. He must have gotten dressed in the limo. Do the writers not storyboard these things?

The PM is outside waiting. Even he tries to talk Prez Biden out of speaking to Parliament. “They’re a surly bunch today.”

When are they not? I used to watch them on TV occasionally.

Prez Biden quotes Churchill, “Having enemies means you stood up for something.”

Speaking of quoting Churchill, someone just got arrested in the UK for quoting what Churchill said about Mooslimes.

ACOS jumps all over Audrey for not stopping Prez Biden. She tells ACOS that she’s fully recovered from her vegetable days and doesn’t need his protection anymore.

The PM introduces Prez Biden. As he starts to speak, he is immediately heckled by an MP. Then another. He better be glad that they didn’t bring any rotten vegetables with them.

Back at Mummy’s house British Mandy’s brother is working on electronics and British Mandy and her hubby are done with sex. That didn’t take long. In his defense, it was the first time in three weeks.

Jack has reached the head of the queue (Brit for line) at the embassy and has presented his credentials. The guards see something funny. Chloe looks around the Hacker Den and asks what’s wrong. Adrian sez they should work. He’s lying. Chloe tells Jack the jig is up and to get out of there.

Kate and Black Dude arrive at the embassy. Jack mugs a cop and takes his gun and shoots a couple of drone protestors and yells, “They’re shooting at us! They’re shooting at us!”

Kate sees Jack. The protestors storm the embassy with Jack among them. Kate yells, “Bauer!”

Kachunk! Kachunk!

Spoiler alert! Both Prez Biden and Audrey find out that Jack is alive and in the embassy. I wonder how she’s gonna feel about ACOS now that Jack is back? In Season 4, she was his main squeeze.

Here’s a fine example of irony that Toejam sent me.

Of course, when I see examples of irony and liberal cognitive dissonance like this, I always think of Maxine Waters saying at a pro-abortion march that she was marching because her mother “didn’t have the right to choose”. If only. And a few months back Chelsea Clinton was on some sort of talk show talking about how her great grandmother was forced to have a child, who was Thunder Rodent Thigh’s grandmother, because she didn’t have the right to choose. Once again, if only. Do these people even think before they open their mouths? Don’t answer. That was a rhetorical question. The problem is that every year there are more and more of these people, and they vote.

We’re doomed!

Whining lib Alec Baldwin is in trouble again. Boing!

Alec Baldwin was taken into police custody and, for once, the paparazzi weren’t involved.

The actor, 56, was spotted Tuesday morning being handcuffed by a New York City police officer for riding the wrong way on his bike.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“Alec was taken into custody in order to ID him and given two summons this morning in NYC,” an NYPD spokesman told Yahoo, clarifying that the star was not arrested. “One for riding his bicycle in the opposite direction of traffic and another for disorderly conduct. He was taken to the 13th Precinct and has been released.”

Disorderly conduct? Alec Baldwin? I’m shocked!

Baldwin’s rep did not immediately reply to calls seeking comment.

This guy is prolly the hardest working PR flack in show business. Maybe he keeps saying to himself, “There is no such thing as bad publicity. Make sure they spell his name correctly.”

A source tells Yahoo that Baldwin was indeed riding his bike alone on the wrong side of Fifth Avenue when he was stopped by police. Additionally, he did not have his ID on him, which is why he had to be handcuffed and taken into the local station.

“He became belligerent, yelling and screaming at the officers, ‘I don’t have ID. Just give me the f—–g summonses,'” a police source told the New York Daily News.

Alec Baldwin belligerent? Once again, I’m shocked! Say it ain’t so! The headline for the story is as follows:

Alec Baldwin Detained by Police, Calls NYC a ‘Mismanaged Carnival of Stupidity’

Guess what Alec. NYC is run by your people: clueless liberals. These are the people you voted for so you’re getting just what you voted for, good and hard.

I love the smell of Schadenfreude in the morning. It gives me a schadenboner and makes me laugh my ass off. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’ve said over the years that the real racists in this country are liberals. Their racism is apparent by how they treat blacks. By lowering college admission standards, they are telling blacks they are too dumb to compete with whites. It’s the same with Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) which is simply renamed affirmative action. They’re sying blacks are not qualified for jobs so the gummint has to force companies to hire them, even if they don’t qualify for the job on merit alone. It’s not me saying this, it’s liberal policies that are saying this. And now we have CNN, a bastion of liberalism.

Watch to the very end. Can you imagine if this were on Fox? Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade would be calling for heads to roll. Eric My People Holder would be outraged. Jesse Hymietown Jackson and Al Tawana Brawley Crown Heights Riots Freddie’s Fashion Mart Arson Sharpton would be calling for the FCC to pull the licenses of all Fox affiliates. Fortunately it was on liberal CNN which no one watches so no one will raise a fuss.

Thanks to Woody for sending me this.

Click on image to enlarge.

Yep. Pretty much sez it all. No one died at Watergate. Four Americans died in Benghazi. When a Republican is in office, they’re journalists. When a Dimocrat is in office, they’re propagandists. Funny how that works. I’m sure they think the end justifies the means. Most rat bastard commies do.

Thanks to John for sending.

Saw the following Vent in this morning’s Atlanta Urinal and Constipation:

Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr. were both Republicans. The Democratic Party was the party of the Ku Klux Klan. Percentage wise more Republicans voted for the Civil Rights Act than Democrats. Under the circumstances, I can’t understand why Blacks vote overwhelming for Democrats.

I can.

1. They’re stupid and the Dimocrat Party wants to keep them that way. Who controls inner city schools in every large city? Dimocrats.

2. They’re poor and depend upon gummint handouts. Who keeps them that way? Dimocrats. LBJ’s Great Fucking Society did what years of Jim Crow laws (passed by Dimocrats, BTW) couldn’t do. It destroyed the black family. The illegitimacy rate among blacks is 73%. Almost three out of every four black children are born out of wedlock. There’s an expressway to poverty right there. LBJ said about passing his poverty programs that it would “have niggers voting Dimocrat for the next 200 years”. He was correct.

3. Black “leaders” are in in the scam. Do you really think that RWPPs like Jesse Hymietown Jackson and Al Tawana Brawley Crown Heights Riots Freddie’s Fashion Mart Arson Sharpton want to eliminate poverty and racism? Are you kidding? That’s their raison d’être. If that stuff was eliminated, they’d be out of work. They’ve become very rich men while doing very little to eliminate poverty among their people and have actually worsened racial relations in this country. The same goes for the Congressional Black Caucus, a bunch of racists right there. They make $175K per year while doing nothing for education and poverty. You don’t solve poverty by giving poor people money. If that worked, there would be no more poverty in this country.

This leads me to this conundrum which many readers have sent me.

Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America:

1. America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is subsidized.

2. Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims.

3. They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the government.

4. Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep getting poorer.

5. The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about – yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

Think about it! And that, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century.

These three, short sentences tell you a lot about the direction of our current government and cultural environment:

1. We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics. Funny how that works.

And here’s another one worth considering…

2. Seems we constantly hear about how Social Security is going to run out of money. How come we never hear about welfare or food stamps running out of money? What’s interesting is the first group “worked for” their money, but the second didn’t. Think about it…..

and Last but not least,

3. Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans, no pay raises for our military and cutting our army to a level lower than before WWII, but we are not stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens.

The War on Poverty is almost fifty years old and what do we have to show for it? About the same level of poverty and trillions of dollars of debt. To Dimocrats, this is called “success” because their poor black base keeps voting for them. Just think of all the good things we could have done with that money. A high orbit permanent space station like in 2001: A Space Odyssey or a scientific base on the moon. Instead, we have inner city poverty with its resulting gummint dependency and crime. We had so much to look forward to in the 60’s. Too bad we didn’t get it.

Karen sent me this on.

For a better image go here. The comments are a hoot. One person tweets: Are these people w/o dignity? They have turned the worlds super power into a guy standing on a corner holding a sign.

My sister sent me the original photo of just Moochelle and asked, “Can you imagine Barbara Bush doing this?”

Of course, Moochelle looks so creepy scary maybe the Islamic nutjobs will release the girls out of fear of Mooch.

James sent me this one.

Al Gator was slipping. He was losing his drive, his desire to catch prey. His friends insisted he go and see the vet.

“What’s the problem?” the vet asked.

Al told him of his plight.

“Here, take these pills. They’ll help.”

“What are they?”

“They’re sort of like Cialis. They’ll give you back your drive.”

“What’s wrong with me? What do I have?”

“What you have is… (more…)

One of the best boogie blues bands of the early 70’s. Too bad they broke up. Rusty Day, their lead singer and harmonica player, died in a drug deal gone bad. They had two members of the Vanilla Fudge, Tim Bogert on bass (First time I saw a bass solo at a rock concert) and Carmine Appice on drums. They were originally gonna have Jeff Beck as their lead guitarist and Rod Stewart as their lead singer but Beck broke his leg so Rod Stewart toured with the Faces and they got Rusty Day on vocals and Jim McCarty on guitar instead. I saw them live once when they opened for Rod Stewart. My girlfriend at the time wanted to see him and she paid for the tickets. I had some friends who had seen them live and they told me I would really enjoy them. When they came on stage Rusty said, “We’re gonna kick your asses!” And he was right. They kicked ass! I’ve liked them ever since. They reunited a few years back, but without Rusty they’re not the same. Rusty had this big time swagger onstage. Here they are doing a blues song and then a boogie song.