Holy Cow. There’s enough silicon there to fill the entire shoreline of New Jersey up to 5 feet. I contacted Dr Finkelstein and he absolute denied my accusation he was the culprit who disfigured this otherwise pretty lady. He figured it was a rogue plastic surgeon who couldn’t get regular work so he or she purchased a set of Ginsu steak knives and a truck-load of sand formally used as kitty litter. Cheap right? But very lucrative for the faux-doc since most of his patients are reality TV devotees.
On with today’s rating show:
1) Face: It has “porn star” written all over it. Look at those slightly parted lips. They’ve seen more than their share of a multitudes of penises erectus than a Trojan factory’s monthly total product output. Her face in general looks like she was “ridden hard and put away wet”. However, having said that, there is a sensual lure, which gets the Testosterone level pumped up. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: I’ll be kind. Too big, too much sag and just plain a turn off. I must agree the aureoles are in perfect proportion to them sacks, however. They’d be way to huge if she hadn’t those bloated boobs. Rating: “D+”.
3) Torso: AH, kinda bloated too. Did some of that silicon somehow bypass the boob sacks and leak into her mid-section? Very likely, but I think it’s just caused by the consumption of too many India Pale Ales followed by shots of Tequila while getting ready to service some rich, old, flabby dudes. Ya know like taking Novacaine before a tooth extraction. Only in this case the Viagra filled old goat is doing a wrinkled implant. OK, I’ll be kind. Rating: “B”.
4) Legs: I can only examine the thighs since she’s wearing those silly knee-length stockings. Amazingly, her thighs don’t match her torso & boobs. They appear far too slender and shapely. Maybe a photographic anomaly? Who knows? Rating: “B+”.
Toejam overall rating: “C-“.
DDP has gone to ground. Haven’t seen, heard or had sex with her in some time. I fear she’s given up on me and run off with some young, body-building gigolo or maybe a gigolette. Alas, I’ll get over it but my liver may not survive. That’s OK there’s plenty out there to harvest and implant if you know the right people.
Interesting assessment and mentioning of a photographic anomaly, Toejam. With this one the whole goddam thing struck me as odd. Tits can be bought we all know that’s a given, but the leaned back position of the head, the hair placement around the neck, the chin, those hands, the torso and legs… in this fucked up world anymore it’d surprise me in the least that there’s some nut tuck going on. I’m filing this one under dick with tits suspicion.
agree with “inbredredneck” real woman, and there isn’t an ounce of silicone in those puppies, well I guess there not puppies anymore, full grown, all real, love them, no man there, I have seen many pic’s of her
Yea the same “mercy” cry I’d make if someone dropped a 50 pound sack of Portland Cement on my chest.
I knew a gorl with “natural” tits that size way back in the 1970’s. Surprisingly, she had a great body and although her tits dominated the scenery I kinda grew attached to her.
It took years for me to figure out since big tits are not my cup of tea. Then it hit me.
She gave a great blow job and finished off with a loud gulp followed moments later by a huge burp. That always amused me. 🙂
She looks like a very bad girl. As such, I am very fond of her. (different Chuck)
Oh hell yeah! That’s a rack I’d like to hang my hat … and other things … on.
yes please may I have another, wow, holy smoke, and a whole bunch more. thank you Chuck and Denny!
Damn, it’s nice to see a real woman, not one that looks like a starved teen-aged boy. Thanks.
Holy Cow. There’s enough silicon there to fill the entire shoreline of New Jersey up to 5 feet. I contacted Dr Finkelstein and he absolute denied my accusation he was the culprit who disfigured this otherwise pretty lady. He figured it was a rogue plastic surgeon who couldn’t get regular work so he or she purchased a set of Ginsu steak knives and a truck-load of sand formally used as kitty litter. Cheap right? But very lucrative for the faux-doc since most of his patients are reality TV devotees.
On with today’s rating show:
1) Face: It has “porn star” written all over it. Look at those slightly parted lips. They’ve seen more than their share of a multitudes of penises erectus than a Trojan factory’s monthly total product output. Her face in general looks like she was “ridden hard and put away wet”. However, having said that, there is a sensual lure, which gets the Testosterone level pumped up. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: I’ll be kind. Too big, too much sag and just plain a turn off. I must agree the aureoles are in perfect proportion to them sacks, however. They’d be way to huge if she hadn’t those bloated boobs. Rating: “D+”.
3) Torso: AH, kinda bloated too. Did some of that silicon somehow bypass the boob sacks and leak into her mid-section? Very likely, but I think it’s just caused by the consumption of too many India Pale Ales followed by shots of Tequila while getting ready to service some rich, old, flabby dudes. Ya know like taking Novacaine before a tooth extraction. Only in this case the Viagra filled old goat is doing a wrinkled implant. OK, I’ll be kind. Rating: “B”.
4) Legs: I can only examine the thighs since she’s wearing those silly knee-length stockings. Amazingly, her thighs don’t match her torso & boobs. They appear far too slender and shapely. Maybe a photographic anomaly? Who knows? Rating: “B+”.
Toejam overall rating: “C-“.
DDP has gone to ground. Haven’t seen, heard or had sex with her in some time. I fear she’s given up on me and run off with some young, body-building gigolo or maybe a gigolette. Alas, I’ll get over it but my liver may not survive. That’s OK there’s plenty out there to harvest and implant if you know the right people.
Interesting assessment and mentioning of a photographic anomaly, Toejam. With this one the whole goddam thing struck me as odd. Tits can be bought we all know that’s a given, but the leaned back position of the head, the hair placement around the neck, the chin, those hands, the torso and legs… in this fucked up world anymore it’d surprise me in the least that there’s some nut tuck going on. I’m filing this one under dick with tits suspicion.
Not sayin’, just sayin’.
Awww Toejam~
I haven’t forgotten about you. Our timing is just off. Once again we are like ships passing in the night.
Maybe I’ll see you next week….
~XxxOoo
Ships passing in the night. Me submarine with “long-lance” (google it) torpedo.
Look at them tits they must weigh 35 pounds each! No wonder she needs to set and stretch her back bone.
If that is Alice Goodwin, they each weigh 1.5 pounds. Don’t know if they are real or not.
agree with “inbredredneck” real woman, and there isn’t an ounce of silicone in those puppies, well I guess there not puppies anymore, full grown, all real, love them, no man there, I have seen many pic’s of her
Alice Goodwin? I’ll take her since Toejam obviously doesn’t want her!
Correct my friend, I don’t want her and you certainly may have sloppy seconds.
This babe wouldn’t make a pimple on DDP’s fantastic ass.
I usually don’t like the term “fun bags”. But in this case I can make an exception.
I don’t care, A+ !!
Those are huge, but real! I’ll bet she’d make you cry for mercy…
Yea the same “mercy” cry I’d make if someone dropped a 50 pound sack of Portland Cement on my chest.
I knew a gorl with “natural” tits that size way back in the 1970’s. Surprisingly, she had a great body and although her tits dominated the scenery I kinda grew attached to her.
It took years for me to figure out since big tits are not my cup of tea. Then it hit me.
She gave a great blow job and finished off with a loud gulp followed moments later by a huge burp. That always amused me. 🙂
Hey, looks like there is a Telefunken between her legs!