Did you hear the latest bullshit from the IRS? All of Lois Lerner’s emails are lost because of a computer crash. Do you hear all that laughter? It’s the countless IT professionals laughing their asses off at that phony excuse. “How conveeeeenment!”, sayeth the Church Lady.

In a large computer enterprise like, for example, the IRS, emails don’t reside on just one computer. First off, they reside on a server that many PCs link to. Lerner would have a copy on her PC but the emails would also reside on the server she linked to. The data on that server is backed up on a daily basis to other servers or to other storage media like DASD, tape libraries, or CD libraries. Large enterprises have programmers whose only function is to manage multiple storage media. And there are multiple layers of storage as to where data resides depending upon the history of the data. This data management is handled automatically by storage management programs. The IBM product for z/OS was SMS. Periodically, that data is backed up again and archived to offsite locations. For example, I’ll bet there are multiple copies of my tax records on multiple IRS servers and offsite locations. I’ve been gone from IBM for 10 years and I’ll be willing to bet that some of my data that I used for my job still resides on storage media somewhere. The same holds true of the IRS.

Lois Lerner’s emails exist somewhere. The IRS is stonewalling because it doesn’t want to reveal the truth that the Obungler administration used the IRS as a political weapon. This is the kind of stuff that is used in banana republics and communist nations. Why not? Obumbler comes from the Third World and he wants to turn this country into a Third World communist nation. Thanks Oblunder voters for inflicting this Third World rat bastard commie on us.

This one was sent to me by Felonius Monk.

When he was little, Joe always wanted to be a trolley car conductor. Joe used to ride the trolley every day just because Joe loved it so much. So when Joe grew up, that’s what Joe became.

It worked fine for a while, but then Joe realized he couldn’t really live on a trolley car conductor’s salary. So he began to rob people. One day, when he was particularly desperate for money, he forced someone into a dark alley, robbed him, and then in his anger, killed him. Joe was discovered, arrested, and sentenced to death in the electric chair.

On the day of his execution, they asked if he had one last wish. He said, “Yes, I’d like a nickel cigar.” They brought him a nickel cigar. He started puffing on the cigar. They threw the switch, which started a lot of sparks and zapping. After a while, they turned off the current, and there was Joe, puffing on his cigar.

They cranked up the voltage and tried again. This time Joe wanted a dime cigar. After a few minutes, they turned off the switch, and there was Joe, puffing on his dime cigar.

As all stories like this go, this escalated until they wired the western seaboard into this electric chair. Joe’s last wish was a $10 cigar. They brought him his cigar. They flipped the switch, and the entire west coast went dark for 30 minutes as the pyrotechnic display raged around the electric chair. An hour later, after the smoke cleared, there was Joe puffing on his $10 cigar.

The warden said, “We give up. What’s your secret, Joe? How do you keep surviving execution?”

Joe said, “Well, … (more…)

I’m gonna continue with some more progressive rock power keyboard based groups. Tonight it’s King Crimson. Thursday was John Wetton’s 65th birthday. It’s easy to get him and Greg Lake mixed up. They both play bass and they both sound a lot a like in their singing. They were also both in King Crimson and ASIA. Lake left King Crimson to join Keith Emerson and Carl Palmer to found ELP. Wetton took his place later on in King Crimson. I saw King Crimson live and they sucked big time. They didn’t even play From the Court of the Crimson King which was their best known and most popular song. Also Robert Fripp sat down to play guitar. They used the Mellotrans long before the Moody Blues. Here’s sumpin’ from their first album. Greg Lake sang this back when he still had a voice.

They did play this when I saw them. The other weird thing about this concert was the warmup act was Black Oak Arkansas! WTF? Talk about a mismatch, especially since 21st Century Schizoid Man was the only really hard rock type of song King Crimson played that night. Fripp was really big into improvisational stuff. Bill Bruford left Yes (to Alan White’s delight since he had a career for the rest of his life with Yes) because he didn’t like the tight rigid structured stuff they played and wanted to play more improvisational stuff with Fripp.

Here’s The Court of the Crimson King. Greg Lake is the lead vocalist on this song. Like I said in an earlier posting, them not playing this at the concert I attended was like going to see Arlo Guthrey and him not playing Alice’s Restaurant which also happened to me. Asshole!

Robert Fripp. Genius or weirdo? You be the judge.

Russ sent me this one.

Sally (a gorgeous uninformed voter) was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned.

Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking’ so sad. Liz said, “Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay…but you look so sad. Why??”

Sally replied, “Cause I just can’t get a man.”

“Well, you sure won’t find one in the middle of the woods.”

“Don’t be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn’t find it.”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage.”

“So, how’s that going help you get a man.”

“Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters.”

Jon sent me some boobage today and I’m posting it just to have some fun with Toejam. I think the A to B ratio is almost perfect, but I like women to look like women and not men. Also, she has black hair. (more…)

The clown car that is the Obungler Administration continues rolling along. Obungler has already made Jimmah Carter look competent. We had Thunder Rodent Thighs who couldn’t find anyone at the State Department who spoke Russian so she must have perused her copy of Russian for Dummies to look up the Russian word for reset and found instead the Russian word for overcharge. The Rooskie at that meeting prolly had to call Putin afterwards and the two of them prolly had a good laugh and knew that they were dealing with amateurs. What do you want to bet that Putin made campaign contributions to Obumbler’s 2012 campaign to get him reelected?

Then we had Kathleen Sibelius who was in charge of the Obummercare rollout.

Eric Shinseki had many years to fix the VA. Obutthead even campaigned in 2008 that he would fix the VA. Maybe he was too busy focusing like a laser on jobs. How’s that working out? At least he created a lot of jobs on Moochelle’s staff. She has more staffers than any first lady in history.

The latest clown to emerge from the clown car is Chuck Hagel. Oblunder looked long and hard to find the most incompetent boob that the Senate would confirm and found Chuck Hagel. Of course they would confirm him. He used to serve in the Senate. He was one of them. Just as Thunder Rodent Thighs made most SecStates look good by comparison, until Flipper came along and made her look good by comparison, Hagel makes previous SecDefs look good by comparison. Donald Rumsdeld where are you? Compared to Hagel, you’re a giant. Hagel went before Congress and defended the decision to trade five Taliban terrorists for a deserter. But was it his idea? Who knows? The story keeps changing. I can’t remember where I saw it but there were about five headlines with different stories about whose idea it was, but Chuckie is behind it 100%.

Anywho, in the congressional hearing, Hagel looked like the incompetent out of touch boob that he is. Y’all remember Teresa (TDHO) who used to comment here? She was from Nebraska and she was a big Chuck Hagel fan. I’m sure she voted for Oblamebush as well.

Here’s your award Chuckie.

Just remember. Only whites can be racists. Hispanics can be racists as well if they are part white. The Left even created a new demographic for that: white Hispanic. Therefore, George Zimmerman was a racist and that’s why he shot that innocent little choirboy, Trayvon Martin. It had nuttin’ to do with the fact that little innocent Trayvon was banging his head on the sidewalk.

Black racism is excused. That’s why Al Tawana Brawley Crown Heights Riots Freddie’s Fashion Mart Arson Sharpton can say stuff like “Greek homos” or make anti-Semitic remarks with impunity. MSDNC even gave him his own TV show. And, of course we have Jesse “Hymietown” Jackson and Eric “My people” Holder. Black racism? Quite OK. The Rev Joseph Lowry even said that blacks can’t be racists. So naturally, this is OK.

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama — Andrew Bennett, outgoing tax assessor of Jefferson County’s Bessemer Division, had planned to spend this week in Orange Beach attending a three-day convention with other officials from around the state.

But, when a majority of Jefferson County Commissioners pulled his travel request from a committee agenda on Tuesday Bennett was left in limbo.

We sure can’t have that can we?

So he decided to attend today’s Jefferson County Commission meeting and ask Republican commissioners David Carrington, Jimmie Stephens and Joe Knight why they declined to authorize his $2,117 expenditure to the Alabama Association of Tax Assessor’s convention.

“There should be a reason why you voted no,” he told the majority near the end of the meeting. “You have approved about 20 people on (the list for travel). It’s just . . . ”

Carrington cut off Bennett. “This is not a public hearing,” Carrington said.

“Well thank you very much you bunch of rednecks,” Bennett replied.

Nothing wrong with that is there? Just imagine if a white guy had said, “Thank you very much you bunch of niggers.” Think of the outrage. The usual crown of RWPPs would be in high dudgeon. There would be coast to coast coverage. But this dude gets a pass.

Just remember, if it were not for double standards, blacks and the rest of the Left wouldn’t have any standards at all.

Thanks to Woody for the link.

Twenty-seven years ago today, Ronald Reagan said those words to Gorbachev when he made a speech in Berlin in front of the Berlin Wall. How far we have descended since then! We’ve gone from Ronald Reagan, the last great American president to Obungler, the worst American president, not just in my lifetime, but in the history of this country. What’s amazing is that Obumbler thinks he is a great president ranking up there with Lincoln and Washington. He is our first Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) president whose only qualifications for this office were his skin color and his ability to read words, written by others, off a TelePrompTer. And as with so many Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) hires he is a failure. He is an example of what happens when Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) meets the Peter Principle. As another pundit (and I cannot remember who it was – it might have been Krauthammer or Sowell) wrote that the problem is not Oboner, the problem is an electorate that would vote to put this unqualified man into the highest office in the land.

And didja heat the Smartest Woman in the World, Thunder Rodent Thighs, the other day? She said Abraham Lincoln was a senator from Illinois. This is the person who wants to become the first woman president. Sorry TRT, that ain’t gonna happen. Obongo is the first woman president. Do you wanna try for the first gay president? You could be the first carpet muncher. Then, we would have to elect the first Hispanic president. Somewhere along the way, it would be nice if we decided to elect a competent person rather than bowing to the demands of Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) and electing the first this or that group. At the rate we are declining, by the time we actually elected someone who could do the job, it will be too late.

We’re doomed! Thanks Obutthead voters!

Previouslies. A lot of them this week.

Mummy al Raghead’s video. Mummy sends Simone to “take care of” Hubby’s sister. Simone stabs her SIL and chases after her niece. Asshole Chief Of Staff (ACOS) forges Prez Biden’s signature on the rendition order to turn Jack over to the Rooskies. He arranges to meet privately with the Rooskie Deputy Foreign Minister about taking back the rendition order. What’s that thing underneath his lip? It looks like a freaking caterpillar. Is that a Russian version of a soul patch. Put a little black hat on this dude and he looks like Boris. All we need now is Natasha. “Where is Moose and Squirrel?” Kate tells Jack about her husband selling secrets to the Chinese and we now know that he was framed. Jordan shows IBM Manager that he can retrieve Adam’s (Kate’s husband) files. IBM Manager talks to his mysterious handler on the phone. Who could it be? I have my own idea. Let’s see if I’m right. Prez Biden sends Jack on his mission to get info from Rask, the arms dealer. Prez Biden tells the Brit PM about it. PM’s Icy Blonde Babe aide tells him that Prez Biden is being treated for Alzheimer’s so he sends MI5 to screw up Jack’s op. Just as MI5 hits Arms Depot Jack presses enter and Chloe gets access to Rask’s bank records. Chloe traces transactions to Simone’s phone. Simone gets hit by a bus.

And we’re off!

We see the EMT’s stabilizing Simone and preparing to transfer her to the closest hospital. The cops start questioning her niece, Yasmin who tells them that Simone killed her mum.

Back at Arms Depot, Jack pulls out his knife and cuts the cuffs off of his faithful Serbian companion Tonto and gives the MI5 dudes a ration of shit for screwing up his op. The MI5 dude sez, “We have protocols.”.

“I don’t give a damn about your protocols (or laws or rules – I’m Jack Bauer. I make my own protocols)!” You tell him Jack!

“I have my orders from the PM so take it up with your president.”

Chloe calls Jack and has tracked the phone and accessed the CCTV cameras and has found out that Simone has been hit by a bus. Before she can tell Jack anything more she gets an IM to get out of where she is. She looks out the window and sees some cops so she splits and while exiting, calls Jack and tells him where the nearest hospital is. With tires squealing, Kate and Jack exit Arms Depot and head for the hospital.

Jack calls Prez Biden and updates him and tells him he needs full access to Simone when he gets to the hospital. He also tells him that MI5 almost screwed up his op. Look for some fireworks between the Prez and the PM.

Just then, as if on cue, the PM shows up and Prez Biden starts giving the PM a piece of his mind. Alas, he doesn’t have much of it to give. Then PM drops the bomb that he knows about his health problem and was worried about his decision making skills. Prez Biden tells him that if he thought his health problem would endanger anyone’s life, he would resign immediately. Too bad our current president doesn’t feel this way. Unfortunately, PM didn’t bring Icy Blonde Babe with him. PM apologizes to Prez Biden. Prez Biden tells PM that Jack is tracking down another lead. “Can I count on your cooperation this time?”

“I personally guarantee it.” Sounds like a Men’s Warehouse commercial.

Cut to the ambulance where the EMT’s are scoping out Simone. “Missing finger on the left hand unrelated to the accident. Looks like a recent injury.”

Amazing! There is no bandage on the finger. There is no blood seepage from the stump. There is no swelling of the hand. There are no stitches. The finger isn’t even discolored. And there is no sign of infection. “Merely a flesh wound”, sayeth the Black Knight. Talk about a medical miracle. I sliced my finger trying to catch a wine glass that then broke in my hand, and I was in worst shape than Simone.

Simone’s phone rings. One of the EMTs answers. It’s Mummy calling to see if Simone’s mission was a success and if she wasted her SIL and her niece. The EMT tells Mummy what happened and where they’re going. Mummy tells them that she is her daughter and she’ll be there, “straightaway”. Right. Like that’s gonna happen.

Mummy asks Ian which one of her minions is close to the hospital.

“Kareem. He lives nearby.” You mean he’s not at Jihad Central with the rest of the merry band of terrorists?

“Send him.” Sorry Simone, you’re toast.

Slow down! Slow down! Slow down! It’s a Victoria’s Secret commercial. By the way. Just what is Victoria’s Secret anyway? I’ve wondered that fir years.

Back at the CIA, Jordan is retrieving Adam’s files when a creepy coworker asks him what he’s doing and that he needs some files. “I’ll send them to you.” Leave him alone. He’s busy trying to clear Kate’s husband. You can tell that Jordan has a crush on Kate.

IBM Manager is in his office when he receives a call from Unknown, who we know is his handler. He tells IBM Manager that Jordan is retrieving files that could prove IBM Manager framed Adam. There is sumpin’ familiar about the back of that dude’s head. Could it be…?

“You have access to our systems?”

“Of course we do.” Let’s hear it for CIA security. He tells IBM Manager to take care of Jordan.

“He’s just a kid.”

“Would you prefer prison for the rest of your life?” Not to worry with Obungler. He’d free some more prisoners from Gitmo and give you a medal for selling out your country.

Unknown turns around and – Oh noes! – it’s Adrian. Yannow, a few hours ago, I speculated that he was in cahoots with Drone Hacker. After he set up Jack at the embassy I figgered he was an asshole. Why is he still in London? I thought he and the rest of the dudes at Hacker Central had left London. Maybe he’s in cahoots with Mummy and knows a safe place in the city to hang out.

Another thing. When Chloe needed access to the CIA system Kate said she thought they already had it and Chloe responded, “We’re good, but not that good.” Looks like Adrian kept that info from Chloe. So how many of the hackers at Hacker Central know that Adrian is selling secrets to the Chinese?

I’ve been watching 24 for so long that very few of these plot twists surprise me. I called IBM Manager as the real traitor long before he was revealed and I also speculated about Adrian not being the idealist he sold himself as.

Anyway, IBM Manager asks him if he knows “a cleaner” and I’m sure he’s not referring to a maid.

“I’m just a middle man. You’ve been well paid. Sort it out, quickly.” Do your own dirty work.

Jack and Kate show up at the hospital and the Female Cop (FC) has already been told to cooperate with them. Look! Kate’s taller than Jack. Simone is still unconscious but Yasmin told the cops that she murdered her mum. They checked out the apartment and found her mum’s dead body. Kate goes to question Yasmin. Jack tells FC to lock down the floor and only allow authorized personnel on it.

Meanwhile Kareem shows up at the hospital to take care of Simone and steals some hospital clothes from a locker room. He pulls out his gun and racks a bullet into the firing chamber.

Jack tells the doc to wake up Simone. He’s not too happy about it but Jack tells him that it’s to save lives. He tells a nurse to inject her with some adrenaline.

Meanwhile, Kate stops at a vending machine and buys Yasmin a ginger beer. WTF is that? Must be some sort of Brit soft drink. Looking it up on Wiki it sounds a lot like ginger ale. It was originally an alcoholic drink, but is now a carbonated soft drink.

Right off the bat Yasmin pegs Kate as an American. Getting a close look at Kate’s face makes me wonder if she’s gonna keep those cuts for the rest of the day or if she’s gonna heal as fast as Simone’s finger which shows no sign’s of infection yet. The chisel that Mummy’s minion used to knock it off was prolly sterilized.

Yasmin relates to Kate what happened but alas, she doesn’t know where Mummy lives. She hasn’t even met her. I haven’t met my great nieces either but they don’t live in the same city that I do. They’re currently in Texas living with their slutty mother and we’re all worried that they’re gonna turn out to be sluts like their mother and their maternal grandmother.

But, as usual, I digress.

Yasmin finishes up with saying about Simone, “I hope she dies!” I have a feeling your hope will come true before the day is over.

Kate returns to Jack and tells him that Yasmin overheard Simone saying she was trying to protect them right before she stabbed her mother – nice protection – so maybe they can turn her.

Kareem appears and calls Mummy with an update and sez the cops are locking down the hospital and tells her that he overheard what Yasmin told Kate.

“Find exactly where she is in the building. We’ll take care of the rest from here.” I see another drone strike in the future. Mummy tells everyone to start packing up. Looks like they’re gonna bug out and move to the backup Jihad Central. She tells Ian to move the drone within the range of the hospital.

Back at the CIA IBM Manager is putting on a shirt and tie so he can look more professional when he sends Jordan to his death. He calls Jordan into his office and tells him he needs him to go to a dead drop and pick up a package from a high level asset with a possible lead to Mummy.

“We’re shorthanded, We lost of agents today. Eric (Black Dude) is not good enough to go out (but I’m sure he will be up and around later today) so I’m counting on you (to get your ass killed).”

He also tells him that it’s important that it stay between the two of them. I’ll bet. Sorry Jordan. You’re being set up. Even Chloe had to go out in the field one season and she capped a few dudes with an AR-15. Let’s see how you make out.

Back at the Prez Quarters Prez Biden tells Audrey and ACOS that PM knows about his decision. He tells ACOS that when they get back to DC to set up a meeting with the VP to talk about a transition. Looks like Prez Biden is thinking of retiring or maybe sacrificing himself in exchange for Mummy not turning London into a big pile of rubble.

Back at the hospital, Jack is looking at Simone’s stub as she is waking up. Hmmmm. This looks like a really good place to administer pain when I start torturing her. She looks up at Jack.

“I know you. You were following me on the Underground.” Speaking of that, I wonder how the cut she made on her leg is doing? At least that got some stitches. Her finger got nuttin’.

He asks for her help. She won’t betray Mummy. “She wouldn’t do anything to harm me.” I guess cutting off a finger doesn’t constitute harm. I wonder what would?

Jack starts working on her stub. She passes out. Kate gives Jack a dirty look. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” That’s nothing. I saw him break one dude’s fingers, one by one, one season. On Jack Bauer’s Torture Hit List, this doesn’t even crack the top 10.

Jack spots Kareem and asks FC that he thought they’d lock down this floor. Kareen opens fire and Jack and Kate fire back and chase him where he is capped by a couple of cops. Jack checks his cellphone where Mummy has texted him that he has 8 minutes to get out. Nice of her to warn him. Jack tells the cops to evacuate the hospital.

He gets Simone and tries to help her to walk out of the hospital. No IV lines? She’s in intensive care. In her condition, they’d have hung all sorts of drugs feeding an IV line. She’d be chock full of fentanyl (synthetic morphine) or dilaudid or both. Been there, done that. You mix those two with some phenergin and you would be in happyland heaven like I was here.

Simone tells Jack that Mummy wouldn’t kill her. Jack drops her and sez, “Stay here then.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

Kate locates Yasmin and gets her out of the hospital.

Back at Jihad Central Ian and Mummy are getting ready to fire on the hospital. They notice that everyone is evacuating. “Fire anyway!”

Boom!

Jack hands Yasmin off to FC and he and Kate bundle Simone into a car and they hit the road. Unfortunately, Mummy and Ian see this and fire another missile. They miss but blow up a lot of cars in the parking lot.

It’s bedlam at the hospital and Jack recklessly drives through the streets of London. Ain’t this exciting? Ian fires another missile and misses again.

He sez to Mummy, “I need to bring it down to 2000 feet.” He’s down to his last missile and none of the other drones are in range yet. Jack gets stuck in a jam created by some dudes loading some lumber on a truck. He slugs a dude and steals his SUV so he can power through the asshole loading the truck. He then pulls into a tunnel. He stops another car and commandeers it. He puts a brick on the accelerator of the SUV and sends it out of the tunnel. This time Ian hits it. Boom!
Mummy has him back up the video and she and Ian see that the car is empty. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Punked by Jack Bauer. Now Mummy is down to only five drones.

Meanwhile, Jordan is walking along a canal looking for the houseboat where is is supposed to pick up the package. He steps aboard and finds that it is locked. Sumpin’ is rotten here. He turns around and is shot and falls into the water. How long can you hold your breath Jordan? The shooter gets on the boat and stares at the water waiting for Jordan to surface so he can finish him off. Not a very good assassin if he can’t do a kill shot right off the bat. IBM Manager must have gotten him from the Discount Assassin Store.

Cut to ACOS who is having a private meeting with Boris somewhere outside. “Where are Moose and Squirrel?” Since he can’t get Rocky and Bullwinkle he insists that ACOS hand over Jack immediately and accuses him of forging Prez Biden’s signature. Busted dude! Wait until Audrey finds out about this! That will prolly end the marriage when she sees just what a weasel you are and you just know that she’s gonna find out before the day is done. You went from not getting any for a year to back into her good graces and now you’re gonna wind up single and out of a job. Boris asks him what would his wife say if she found out and also said that forging a president’s signature would be an act of treason. Do you think Valerie Jarrett worries about this?

“Leave my wife out of this!”

ACOS sez to give him time and after this crisis is over both of them will get what they want. Here’s a news flash ACOS! You’re gonna get boned big time over this.

Back at the Prez Quarters, Prez Biden is watching the aftermath of the hospital bombing and calls Jack for an update and asks to see Jack. Jack tells Kate to drop him off at the Prez Quarters since it’s right on the way to the CIA and take Simone to the CIA after first asking Kate if they have a medical infirmary there. They do. They have a nice torture area so it’s only logical that they would have a doctor or two there as well. I’m really impressed at how well Jack knows his way around London.

Some dude shows up in Prez Biden’s office with some “back channel contact information” for Mummy. Prez Biden tells him not to tell anyone about this especially ACOS.

You can tell we’re getting near the end of the hour because there is some split screen action. Mummy’s minions are packing up Jihad Central while a wet, wounded, bedraggled Jordan is crawling out of the canal. That’s some bad news for IBM Manager.

Prez Biden uses the “back channel contact” info to call Mummy and asks her if she would give her word to spare London if he will surrender to her on her terms. Why not? He’s gonna be in loonyland in not too long. May as well make his death mean sumpin’. She agrees and sez she awaits his decision. He sez it has already been made.

Kachunk! Kachunk! Kachunk!

Next week, Prez Biden is in the middle of Wembley Stadium being targeted by a missile and IBM Manager is worried about Jordan surviving.

Toejam sent me this picture of Bergdahl right before going to Afghanistan.

Whether this guy is a deserter or not, and I believe he is, the trade has had its desired effect. It pushed the VA scandal off the front page, which is the only reason Obungler did this.