A couple weeks ago I posted a piece that Ron wrote with a list of words that could be used to describe the shithead we have in the White House. This is a companion piece that he wrote shortly thereafter.

A few days ago, I listed a collection of uncomplimentary nouns and adjectives which might be of help in defining and quantifying the pretender who is presently squatting illegally at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

The list was by no means exhaustive and purposefully avoided the profane, the guttural, the obscene. And although my time is more valuable than anything he has to say or do, I feel somehow compelled to generate a collection of non-profane insults in sentence or phrase form. Most are unabashedly stolen or paraphrased from minds deeper than mine. Use them freely if you will.

Again, the list is by no means intended to be complete or finished, just a little mind dump to purge my psyche of a troublesome non-entity. I’d work them up into a rant, but they’re pretty much stand-alone sufficient and don’t need connectors or transitions or anything to get in their way:

My sincerest desire for Soetoro is that he and the United States become much better strangers.

He is sociologically deformed, genetically damaged, false-faced, girlish-bodied, and shapeless in his knowledge, his policies, and his goals.

I dunno about that. His goal is to destroy America and everything it stands for and that’s exactly what he is doing. I dunno if we will ever be able to repair the damage this white hating, Mooslime loving, rat bastard commie has inflicted upon this once great country aided and abetted by the treasonous Dimocrat Party. I was born shortly after we won WWII and I witnessed our winning the Cold War. You can decide which of those defines the height this country achieved. It’s been downhill ever since Reagan left office. The presidents after Reagan have been pygmies by comparison, and that includes both Bushes, BJ, and the incompetent dolt the Dimocrat Party gave us. It was more important to value Diversity (All Hail Diversity!) over competence and that’s what we did when the Dimocrats pushed Thunder Rodent Thighs off to the side and gifted us with the black version of Jimmah Carter, except Jimmah looks competent compared to this booger eatin’ moh-ron.

His all-too-frequent appearances on media would tax the patience and forebearance of a saint. He is a peddler of empty slogans, exhausted mantra, and falsified facts.

I cannot stand the sound of his voice.

The perfidy in his face has moved racial harmony back a hundred years; it could move a corpse to anger and drive a priest to evacuate the confessional. His smile has all the warmth of a long-dead bottom feeder.

He was supposed to bring the country together but has torn us apart.

He has as much experience, wisdom, leadership, and common sense as a male wombat has milk.

His intrinsic worth parallels that of mule manure. He is a wasteful consumer of our food and a toxic contaminator of our air. He is a stack of low-grade protoplasm mysteriously held erect despite complete absence of a spine.

Except when he is fighting Republicans. If only he hated our enemies as much as he hates Republicans.

He is a cut-purse, a maggot which feeds on dissension, a scurvy infiltrator passing himself off as native, a moldy impersonator, and narcissistic self-promoter.

His idiom is not that of a man but of a leech, a braggart, a cullion,

I had to look that word up.

a sponge. He sucks the blood of enterprise, stains the cloth of honor, and befouls that which has long been preserved as good. More a villain than S/Sgt Raymond Shaw.

At least Shaw wound up killing the right people at the end of the novel and then killed himself.

He despoils our land with economic ruin, military weakness, and racial division. Any usefulness to anything or anyone that he ever possessed has long since evaporated, and he has dwelt among us on our dime for far too long.

Arrogance oozes from his every pore. His father denied him, his mother discarded him, and his family corrupted him. He entered adulthood with a predatory distaste for his non-African half, and his mate has greater enmity for it than does he.

He is rubbish, detritus, debris, and worthless litter. A knave; a consumer of other people’s produce; a base, prideful, superficial, empty-suited, roguish panderer of failed ideas; the unwanted offspring of a fake and a flake. A mongrel with useless philosophies and counterproductive goals.

A purposeless ne-er-do-well, a dishonest mountebank, a diseased mind in an androgynous frame with no more honor than a single hair from a Reagan, no more ethics than a Nixon’s sputum, and no more loyalty than a fingernail clipping from his predecessor.

CATHARSIS!!

Bless you!

There! I feel much better now.

I wish Ron wouldn’t hold back and would tell us how he really feels.

Didja see the the pussy-in-chief “pumping iron” in Europe? Karen sent me this video about a new exercise program.

Long time readers know that I don’t really like my homeowners association. The leaders of my HOA are too cowardly to come and talk to me about any real or perceived violations in person. Instead, they have the management company send out a Courtesy Reminder informing me of the violation. Next, is a Second Notice of Violation. After that comes the Third Notice of Violation where they start threatening fines.

A few years back, this process started off where my “bushes on the right” needed pruning. After the Third Notice of Violation, I pruned all the bushes on my property, then, I wrote a letter to that effect asking for an explanation and how the inspection process worked and how high the bushes would be allowed to grow and also played the crip card as well as the disabled American Veteran card (I’m disabled and a veteran, I just didn’t get my disability in the military). Normally, I wouldn’t play those cards, but this was an HOA Nazi I was dealing with. Cindy did most of the writing and the letter was a work of art. There was a subtle threat of a lawsuit. I even got a letter from the management company’s lawyers saying that there was no need for a suit. It turned out that “the bushes on the right” weren’t even on my property! All that bullshit for nothing.

A few years later, I got a Coutesy Reminder about my “trash receptacle being visible from the road”. They even enclosed a picture of my trash receptacle outside my garage. Here in DeKalb County, the sanitation department has a policy that if you are disabled, you don’t have to take your trash container to the curb but can leave it outside your garage and they’ll empty it and return it to the outside your garage. All you have to do is fill out a form signed by your doctor and you get a decal to put on your mailbox to show the guys on the truck that you’re in the program.

This time was even more fun since we took a picture of me in a wheelchair and an arrow pointing to it labeled “disabled dude”. Then we took a picture of my mailbox with my decal clearly visible. Then Cindy and I drafted another awesome letter to the HOA management company enclosing these pictures and demanding an apology from the management company and the HOA board. To their credit, the management company did apologize. The HOA board did not.

This year they hassled me about my mailbox. Turns out there was rust on the pole that the mailbox is mounted upon. Unfortunately the Courtesy Reminder was very ambiguous and didn’t specify that. I wrote a letter to the management company asking for clarification. It wasn’t as good as Cindy would have written (She’s got a got job now that she works long hours at so she didn’t have time to help me) but the management company clarified the problem and apologized for the ambiguity in the letter and I fixed it.

Now, I decided to just piss off the HOA. I’ve got some beds in my front yard that have some weeds and grass growing in them. I decided to just leave them that way and wait for the Courtesy Reminder. It came Saturday with pictures of the offending beds. Normally, I would have taken care of them on my own a few weeks ago but I decided to be a total asshole, especially since the president of the HOA has to walk by my house at least twice a day. Screw you, dude! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Do I have problems with authority? You bet! You can ask my sister about that. I prolly took five years off my mother’s life because of problems with me when I was growing up. She told me after I was an adult – and I actually turned out quite well and she admitted that – that if they could have afforded it, they would have sent me to military school. I’m actually surprised that I managed to make it through four years in the Navy without any trouble and I got an honorable discharge. Well, on the Iredell County, I did have an RM2 write me up for calling him a dickhead, but the XO talked him into tearing up the report chit so I didn’t have to go to Captain’s Mast. It helped that I was the only guy on the ship who could fix electronics gear and that the RM2 was a dickhead and that most of the officers, including the XO and Captain liked me. Being real good at my job – and I was – helped me out big time.

I stopped on my way home from my doctor’s appointment and bought some mulch and I’ll take care of one of the beds tomorrow. It’s gotten to be really fun to piss these assholes off. I’m thinking of getting some pink flamingos and putting them in the urns outside my front door. That oughta get a rise out of them.

Many readers have sent this trade we should make.

Instead of trading five killers for a traitor, why not trade five traitors for a Marine rotting in a Mexican jail?

Bill sent me this one.

A psychologist is in his office, tending to business in between appointments, when a man bursts in, frantic:

“Doc, you’ve gotta help me! I’m having an identity crisis! First I think I’m a wigwam, then I think I’m a tepee! I’m a wigwam! I’m a tepee! I’m a wigwam! I’m a tepee!”

The psychologist says, “Whoa whoa whoa! Sit down and relax… (more…)

Back in the late 60’s early 70’s there were some power keyboard groups like Emerson, Lake, and Palmer and Lee Michaels. Before them was Rare Bird. Two keyboards, a bass, and drums. No guitar. They had a limited success. I remember driving home to Webster Groves from a weekend of water skiing at Lake of the Ozarks and KSHE would put on Flight from the As Your Mind Flies By album. It was excellent driving music. The following is a piece called Beautiful Scarlet. I didn’t realize there was a live version out there. The start sounds like an Ajax commercial in the 60’s that went Stronger than dirt! which is the same phrase at the end of the Doors I’m Going to Love You This ain’t metal but I like it. During the Beautiful Scarlet interlude one of the keyboards sounds like strumming on an acoustic guitar.

And now here are the first two parts of Flight from the album As your Mind Flies By . Parts 3 and 4 are not as good as the first two parts. As I said, I listened to these on KSHE on more than one occasion on Sunday nights driving home. I was usually stoned as well.

Glenn sent me this week’s uninformed voter joke.

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant uninformed voters. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!”

Soon, three more uninformed voters arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days! ” Two more uninformed voters show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days! ” Finally, the tenth uninformed voter comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!

“The bartender can’t contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child’s jigsaw puzzle of the White House. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the uninformed voters, “What’s all the chanting and celebration about?

The uninformed voter who brought in the picture pipes in, “Everyone thinks that uninformed voters are dumb and they make fun of us just because we voted for Obummer. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together…the side of the box said 6-10 years, but we put it together in 51 days!”

Jon sent me this raven haired beauty. I love black hair! (more…)

I’m gonna give it to the entire Obungler administration but mostly Obumbler himself and a few other people. Oboner said, “We leave no soldier behind.” So I guess the SEALs at Benghazi don’t qualify as soldiers, you lying rat bastard commie piece of shit? Then we have Susan Rice trotting out to peddle the bullshit on the Sunday talk shows. You remember Susan Rice dontcha? She’s the one who made the rounds on the Sunday talk shows saying Benghazi was a result of a YouTube video. Can you imagine the uproar over Benghazi if a Republican had been president? We even got to see a debate moderator, Candy Crowley helping Oblunder out during a debate. Disgraceful. And then we had Chuck Hagel proving just how fucking stupid he is. And the crowning touch was some bimbo at the State Department displaying just how fucking stupid she is.

My sister wrote to me, “We traded five terrorists for a traitor. What a great deal!”
Make no mistake about it. Bowe Bergdahl was a traitor. He deserted his unit in a time of war. Back in WWII that would get you shot. Look up Eddie D. Slovick. That’s when we used to execute traitors. Now we celebrate them, like Jane Fonda. Not only did he desert, he gave tactical information to the Taliban, at least that’s what the soldiers in his unit said, since the Taliban used his information in attacks after Bergdahl deserted to the Taliban.

This guy does a much better job explaining this than I could do as he points out the elephant in the room.

Thanks to Toejam, who sent me this.

Aren’t y’all glad we elected the first black president to prove that we aren’t racists? Obutthead, Hagel, Rice, and the State Department bimbo deserve special mention but the entire administration of this Mooslime loving rat bastard commie traitor gets to share the award this week as well as the American voters who put this asshole in office for four more years. I hope you are happy with the damage you have inflicted on this once great country to elect and reelect a man based on the color of his skin. Here’s your award.