We’re all done with the al Ragheads so now we’ll have other stuff to worry about like other defense systems other than drones. It’s gonna get even more scary.

Previouslies: Lot of ’em. ACOS (Asshole Chief of Staff) forges Prez Biden’s signature on a rendition form. Boris asks when he’s gonna get Jack. Chloe tells Jack she’s all done and won’t look at the OD (Override Device). Thanks for the memories. It’s been fun. Adrian thanks Chloe for taking him back. We see Kate upset that her husband sold secrets to the Chinks. Cheer up Kate, tonight you’ll find out he’s innocent. Adrian tells IBM Manager to fix the problem with Jordan. Jordan gets shot and falls into the canal. Later he gets the jump on Scary Assassin but Scary Assassin stabs him and Jordan goes Zimmerman and kills him. Didja see that Zimmerman lost his defamation case against NBC? I was hoping he’d take them for millions. Kate tells IBM Manager that Jordan is dead but they found two bodies. IBM Manager calls Adrian and tells him he needs cash and papers so he can split. Adrian tells him he’ll do it if he brings him the OD. The DoD tech tells Jack just how powerful the OD is. Jack’s CIA buddy tells him that Scary Assassin once worked for IBM Manager. IBM Manager puts sleeper hold on DoD tech and absconds with the OD. Jack loses him on the streets of Merry Olde London.

Whew! And now it’s time for another exciting episode. Only two more after tonight. This has been a really good season. One of the best. I think shortening it helped.

Jack calls Kate and tells her that IBM Manager had Jordan killed and he took off with the OD and the OD is more dangerous than they thought and could access multiple weapons systems and not just drones and it could access systems from other countries. He tells her he’s chasing IBM Manager and he needs to have a tac team home in on his phone and he needs IBM Manager tracked via satellite and CCTV.

IBM Manager calls Adrian who tells him to go to Liverpool Station.

“How do I know you’ll keep your end of the bargain?”

“If you don’t keep your end of the bargain, you’ll spend the rest of your life in the federal penitentiary. It’s your choice.”

You should have known this day would come IBM Manager. You should have had an exit plan in place. You’re not a very smart spy are you? Typical. I worked for managers like this when I worked for IBM. My managers in the Field Engineering Division were super competent. When I worked for the Mattel (Office Products) Division, I only worked for one competent manager. The rest were incompetent booger eatin’ moh-rons. I had one really bad manager in Education and of course, I had my CDSM© when I was a full time sysprog in Education support my final six years at IBM. I’ve written about him many times.

Chloe has suck up behind Adrian. “What’s going one?”

“I’m taking the OD back.”

He tells her that he designed it. Drone Hacker stole it from him and was gonna sell it to terrorists. Remember, from the very start I thought Adrian was more than just a hacker stealing gummint files. He tells Chloe that he’s gonna break through the firewall of every defense system of every country and he’s gonna share that with every nation on earth. Oh yeah. That’s gonna save lives. Like Mooslime fanatics won’t use that info to blow up every infidel nation. He’s been smoking some real bad shit. That’s just like Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade thinking that if we disarm ourselves all of our enemies will love us. Why are these utopian idiots so fucking stupid? He tells Chloe that he’s creating a better world, one she would have wanted for her dead husband and son.

Creepy Tech Dude Gavin calls up Jack and tells him that IBM Manager has screwed up the CCTV cameras. When did he do that? Jack tells him to switch to satellite. I bet he’s hoping Chloe were still helping him.

A truck almost runs over IBM Manager and honks. Jack follows the sound of the horn.

Some dude with a machine gun (how convenient) is talking with another dude. IBM Manager slugs him, grabs the machine gun, and shoots at Jack. He drills some holes in a bunch of beer kegs. Oh the humanity! Jack loses him and lets forth with one of his patented, “Damn it!”

Jack sees a sign for Liverpool Station and figgers out that Adrian must be headed there.

IBM Manager gets to Liverpool Station and is standing in a construction area. Adrian tells him that his papers are in a cement mixer and to put the OD through a hole in the wall.

IBM Manager asks, “Where’s my car? Where the hell is my car?”

Nowhere dude. You’re busted! Adrian and Chloe walk away. IBM Manager sees Jack and tries to run away but the tac team pulls up and surrounds him. Jack disarms him and has the tac team cuff him.

Jack looks for the OD and sees the manpurse that IBM Manager had and Adrian has it. He gives chase but Adrian and Chloe get on a train and get away. Jack sees Chloe sitting next to Adrian on the train and yells her name to no avail. He calls the CIA and tells them to track the train. Don’t people have to pay to ride the tube? Both times I didn’t see any turnstiles.

A few minutes later, after a commercial break, the CIA tells Jack that someone pulled the emergency brake on the train and two people got off and escaped through a tunnel. Since the CCTVs are still down they weren’t able to track them.

Jack tells Kate and Black Dude that IBM Manager handed off the OD to Adrian and Chloe was with him. Black Dude asks if Chloe was playing them most of the day. Why not with what you guys were doing to her in Special Activities this morning? Jack sez his gut sez “no”, and he’s coming in with IBM Manager and will meet with them back at the CIA. Here’s hoping Jack gets to interrogate IBM Manager.

Kate and Black Dude walk into the CIA and Kate tells Black Dude that “he’s the ranking now ” which puts him in charge. He addresses the troops and updates the status and he’ll update protocols and other CIA gibberish. Now if this were the old 24, in about two hours someone from Division would show up to take charge. Kate tells Gavin to look into Jordan’s system and see what he was working on that would make IBM Manager want to kill him.

Back at the Prez Quarters, Prez Biden is taking a shot of booze with his Alzheimer’s medicine. Audrey sees him and scolds him for it. Give him a break. He almost died a few hours ago. She tells him that Air Force One is on the tarmac “fueled and ready”. He’s disappointed that the trip was a waste since he didn’t get a treaty to have drones based at Diego Garcia. He tells her to put in a call to the VP that he is ready to make “the announcement” and that he should be ready to take over. Isn’t that ACOS’s job? Speaking of that weasel, he burst into the room which pisses off Audrey. “Mark, Please!”

ACOS said the CIA is calling and needs to speak to him immediately. Black Dude tells him that the OD has been stolen. Audrey asks where the station chief was. Black Dude tells her he’s the one who stole the OD. He tells them the bad news that the OD is even worse than they thought and it can get through the firewalls of defense systems of other countries as well as the US.

Prez Biden asks where Jack is and Black Dude tells him that Jack is on the way in with IBM Manager. “Give him everything he needs.” Pliers. Hot coals. Bamboo sticks.

Prez Biden tells ACOS that he wants a full report from DoD and any countermeasures they can come up with and to stand down Air Force One.

Back at the CIA Gavin stops Kate, who has changed into a fetching sweater which does nice things to her small perky boobs, and tells her that the files Jordan was working on shows that it was IBM Manager who was selling secrets to the Chinks and that Kate’s husband was framed. Just then IBM Manager arrives and Kate is restrained from going after him by Black Dude. Jack asks WTF is going on. He tells Jack about Kate and that he’s having IBM Manager sent down to Special Activities for interrogation. Jack tells him that IBM Manager is trained for covert ops and that won’t break him. He wants to take a shot at him. “He knows my history.” Black Dude agrees but as soon as he crosses the line, he’s through. That will take about 30 seconds. Jack tels him he wasn’t asking. “That was just me being courteous.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jack goes in to comfort Kate and she tells him her husband got a life sentence and didn’t kill himself until after he realized she didn’t believe he was innocent. So she’s available Jack.

Jack and Kate walk into interrogation where IBM Manager has probes in him. Jack sez he doesn’t need biometrics. Black Dude sez, “As long as you remember the ground rules.” Sorry dude. With Jack there are no ground rules. as you’re gonna find out. Jack Bauer don’t need no steenkin’ ground rules.

Jack tells the guards to take off the restraints and to leave the room. Jack lays out what the CIA knows: having Jordan murdered; selling secrets to the Chinks; stealing the OD; framing Kate’s husband. He tells him there is only one outcome: the death penalty.

IBM Manager smugly tells Jack he knows how to find the OD but in return he wants full immunity. C’mon Jack. This is 24. Immunity agreements are a dime a dozen. Mandy got ’em. So did Nina.

Kate turns to Black Dude where they are observing Jack and IBM Manager and asks if anyone would give him immunity. Sorry Kate, they would.

IBM Manager tells Jack he is wasting time. Black Dude won’t let him harm him. “Tick tock. Tick tock.”

Jack tells him full immunity is not on the table but “your hand is”. He grabs IBM Manager’s hand and beats the crap out of it with the butt of his gun and throws him on the floor and proceeds to beat the crap out of him until he is pulled off him by the guards. And then Kate comes in and tries to take a turn. Black Dude tells her he has to make the case for immunity. The rest is up to the Prez.

Back at the Prez Quarters, ACOS is talking to another staff member about immunity and he needs to patch the AG in ’cause he has to sign off on it. He sees Audrey and she apologizes to him for snapping at him earlier when he didn’t tell her about Prez Biden giving himself up to Mummy. Watch him muck this up. She’s actually apologizing to him and he’s gonna get on her about Jack. Sure enough.

“But that’s not what this is about is it? This distance between us.”

The distance between you is because you have been acting like a dick all day, but no, you’re gonna blame it on Jack, which he does.

Audrey sez, “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” She leaves the room. Geez! He’s the woman in this argument. So now he’s pissed and he calls Boris who is driving around London looking for moose and squirrel.

I’ve figgered out who else Boris looks like. He looks like a professional wrestler back when they used to have ethnic bad guys. They had the Arab villain named the Iron Sheik. There were some Rooskies as well, but I don’t remember their names.

Boris wants to know when he’s getting Jack. Once again he threatens to spill the beans about ACOS forging Prez Biden’s signature on the rendition form and he’s gonna tell the State Department about that if he doesn’t get Jack. ACOS will go to prison. That’s gonna happen anyway now. ACOS tells Boris that Jack is using a secure CIA comm link and he’ll give him the code and he can track Jack and take him down. Bad idea dude. Now it’s treason. All because you think Audrey prefers a real man like Jack to a weasel like you. I can hear it now in the slammer, “You shore do have a purty mouth.”

Back at Hacker Den 2.0 one of Adrian’s Hacker Minions answers the phone and sez they’ll be ready for the OD in about fifteen or twenty minutes. So they’ve all been in on it from the very start. She asks Adrian if he’s told Chloe everything. He tells her he has. When they get into a car Adrian puts the OD in the back seat. Chloe takes off her coat and puts it on top of the OD. Then she tells Adrian she has to take a pee and grabs her coat and the OD device. She tries to flag down a truck, or in Brit speak, a lorry, which stops. Adrian pulls a gun and shoots out the window and the truck takes off. Nice try Chloe. He asks her why she continues to disappoint him. Sounds like Obungler who wonders why America disappoints him. Chloe tells him what he is trying to do won’t work. He tells her to get in the car.
She asks if he’s asking or telling her.

“I think you know the answer to that.” Since he has a gun we do to.

Back at the CIA IBM Manager has his hand all bandaged up. That’s more than Mummy did for Simone after she had her finger chopped off. Where is Simone? Did she die? IBM Manager asks for sumpin’ for the pain. The medic tells him he was told not to.

Just then Kate comes in and goes all Jack Bauer. She disarms the guards and has them get on their knees. She then backhands IBM Manager and gives him a piece of her mind. Then she sticks a gun under his chin. Jack comes in with a gun had tells her to put her weapon down since he’s the only one who can find the OD. Kate sez it’s BS and she’s gonna kill him because he’s worthless. He sez he planted a tracker and gives them the code. Kate lowers her weapon and asks Gavin if he got it. It was an act. You were pwned IBM Manager. Big time! Kate tells him he’s gonna be executed for murder and treason and she’s gonna be there to watch it.

I’ve noticed that there are far more commercials in the second half of 24 than the first half.

Black Dude shows up and asks what happened. Where were you dude? In the head? Jack tells him Kate broke IBM Manager. See. I told you she was a female Jack Bauer.

Back at the Prez Quarters, Prez Biden is meeting with a bunch of military bigwigs discussing options. One of them tells Prez Biden that there’s a Chink carrier moving in to the Middle East that’s “frying a lot of nerves.” One of the bigwig officers suggests that we not advertize the existence of the OD. Just then ACOS comes in with the immunity agreement. Prez Biden sez it’s not necessary, that IBM Manager spilled the beans. He put a tracker on the OD and Jack and some tac teams are on the way to retrieve it. ACOS asks if Jack is involved in the operation. “He’s leading it.”

Uh oh! You screwed the pooch big time ACOS! The Rooskies are on the way to get Jack and they’re gonna mess up the operation. Your jealously has screwed up national security and you have now officially committed treason. Yannow, I should have known he would screw up the first time I heard his name, Boudreau. He’s a coon ass. My coon ass friend Becky, who’s married to a guy named Boudreau could have told me that. Next time I see her I’ll have to ask her if she caught this season of 24. Now where is his buddy Tibideaux?

Jack and Kate are speeding to the location of the OD in a CIAmobile. Gavin is having a hard time pinning down the location. Sumpin’ is blocking the signal. I just noticed Gavin is Scottish. Guess he hasn’t had many lines up until now. Jack tells the tac teams to split up and enter from multiple directions so the hackers don’t see them coming. What are they gonna do? They’re geeks. It’s not like they have assault weapons and there’s gonna be a big firefight.

Jack and Kate have this little heart to heart talk and she tells him about the last time she saw her husband and how he could tell she no longer believed he was innocent. It was right after that that he hung himself ’cause she had deserted him. He tells her that four years ago the Rooskies killed FBI babe (he didn’t tell her it was right after they had had sex) and he took as “much revenge as I could probably take” and it cost him everything. He said it didn’t ease the pain. It was nice watching him kill all the Rooskies four years ago.

All right. Enough of this sentimental crap. Let’s have some action!

Adrian and Chloe walk into Hacker Den 2.0. She ask if his Hacker Minions know what he’s planning to do. They do. They’re as batshit crazy as he is. They enter the lab and walk into a bloodbath. Everyone is dead but Stosh and he’s just about gone. Who did it? Cheng.

Turns out is was Cheng who paid Adrian and his Hacker Minions to develop the OD, not to give it away to the rest of the world. Chloe gives us a little play by play as to who Cheng is. Cheng had a hard on for Jack after he broke into the Chink Embassy in Season 4. He captured Jack at the end of Season 5 (I think) and took him back to China and tortured him for a year. Audrey went looking for Jack and Cheng turned her into a turnip which was the only reason that she would fall for a sniveling loser like ACOS. Chloe sez that the Chinks arrested Cheng and he was supposed to be rotting in a Chink prison. He must of have gotten out. Are we all caught up now?

Cheng asks Adrian what he’s done to the OD. Adrian tells Cheng that Yates modified it to only work on drones. It’s beyond his expertise to fix it. Cheng sez, “I believe you.” He turns to Chloe.

“I’m sure you can manage.”

“I’m not gonna help you.”

He shoots Adrian in the right knee.

“The next one is in his brain.”

Chloe agrees to help. Why? Surely she knows that after she helps him Cheng will kill both of them.

Do y’all hate those stupid Discover ads as much as I do? The one I really hate is of the black woman talking to herself and cackling. Must be because I’m a racist. I’m so glad I can fast forward through most of them.

Back at the Prez Quarters ACOS keeps calling Boris and leaves voice mails telling him to call off his dogs and not go after Jack. Too late. You’ve really messed up this time.

Gavin has pinpointed the exact location and Jack has passed the info to the other tax teams.

Cheng asks Chloe how much longer and Chloe gives him some Chloe attitude as only she can do. Cheng pulls her up and sits her down next to Adrian. They were mirroring what she did and saw the virus she planted. She also did just enough to give them access to the OD.

Adrian asks her, “We’re not going to get out of this alive are we?” Bingo! Got it in one! You shouldn’t have messed with the Chinks. And your idealistic ideas were bullshit! He tells her that he found out that the deaths of her husband and son were just an accident and not a conspiracy like she had been led to believe and he was gonna tell her one day.

Chloe tells him to look around the room at all of the dead bodies and that he was responsible for all of them. Of course, he refuses to take responsibility. Must be a liberal Dimocrat. Cheng shoots Adrian in the head and Chloe screams.

As Jack and Kate approach Hacker Den 2.0 they are T-boned by a truck driven by a Rooskie. Thanks ACOS! Miraculously, they are unharmed and emerge from the CIAmobile shooting at the Rooskies. More shooters show up.

At Hacker Den 2.0 Cheng has his tech dude send a command to a nuke sub to sink the Chink aircraft carrier. The sub verifies the message.

“Fire torpedoes one and two!”

Kaboom!

Chloe sez, “Oh my God!”

Kachunk! Kachunk! Kachunk!

Next week: Damn! I stopped the recording too soon. I did see ACOS accused of treason by Prez Biden.