Yep! This is the last episode of this year’s season so to make it add up to 24 hours, this episode will cover 13 hours. But first, the previouslies:

Cheng educates Adrian: “We pay you to develop the Override (OD) not to give it away to the rest of the world.” Terms of the contract dude! Do you know what happens when you don’t fulfill the terms of a contract with a bunch of terrorists? They kill you. Chloe scolds Adrian, as only she can, for working with Cheng and asks him if he’s insane. Yep! He’s a liberal. Liberalism is a mental disease. She tells Adrian what Cheng did to Jack and Audrey. If only he could be so lucky. Nope. He gets a bullet from Cheng in his liberal brain. One of Cheng’s Chink techs sends an order to a US sub to sink a Chink aircraft carrier, which they do. It only took two torpedoes. That’s efficiency! Prez Biden tells Prez Chink that Cheng did it. Prez Chink doesn’t believe him. Really? Would you? He thinks Cheng is pushing up daisies somewhere. Prez Biden tells Jack that he has to find Cheng and the OD. Really? No shit, Sherlock! Cheng tells Boris that he was supposed to take Jack out. I would have it hadn’t been for Rocky and Bullwinkle. I know. That joke is getting old, but I still think it’s funny ’cause this guy reminds me of a cross between Boris and a wrestler named Krusher Kruschev. He tells Cheng that his people will meet him at the dock. Chloe swings a pipe around in the truck clocking some Chinks and escaped through the side of the truck, rolled down a hill, and hit her head on something and passed out. Jack exposes ACOS (Asshole Chief of Staff) in front of Prez Biden who tells him he’s gonna have him arrested for treason. Jack sez he can use him to get inside Boris’ house. Boris and ACOS get into a fight and crash into some glass. A shard gets lodged in Boris’ throat who dies but not before telling Jack that the Rooskies will never stop looking for him. This sounds like what the Chinks planned after Jack broke into their embassy in Las Angeles in Season 4. They managed to catch him at the end of one of the seasons. Audrey tells Prez Biden that she has a contact in the Chink Embassy who may be able to help convince the Chinks about Cheng. They meet, but a sniper kills Audrey’s Secret Service detail and her Chink friend. Cheng, who somehow got her phone number, calls Audrey and tells her to sit down on the bench and he might let her live. That’s big of him.

And we’re off! Lots of action tonight. Lots of blood. Lots of Chinks and Rooskies killed, mostly by Jack.

We start with Audrey sitting on the bench looking worried. Her friend reaches out to her. She’s still alive! Audrey gets up to help her. Cheng tells her to sit back down. She tells him she’s alive and wants to take of her. Cheng has the sniper shoot her again. That took care of that. What an heartless asshole.

Moving back to Boris’ house, Jack, Kate, and ACOS (too bad he didn’t get a pane in the neck like Boris) are looking in Boris’ office for clues. Jack notices a false bottom in the first drawer he looks in (convenient) and breaks it with his elbow. Inside is a cellphone (which is also a computer, BTW) which requires Boris’ thumbprint to log on. Fortunately, Boris just happens to be laying there and doesn’t need his thumb anymore so Jack is able to log on. He finds emails referring to a shipment leaving tonight and brilliantly deduces that Cheng and his minions are the shipment. Can’t get much past Jack Bauer. Just as Kate is about to call in a tac team to go to the docks, ACOS finds a video of Audrey on the bench. Jack tells Kate to nix the tac team. He needs to rescue Audrey first. Cheng calls Jack (how does he get all these numbers?) and tells him to quit tracking him or Audrey will die. If he comes near him, Cheng will have her shot. When he’s safely away, he’ll release her. Yeah. Like that’s gonna happen.

ACOS starts whining that it’s all over and not to do anything because he would be condemning Audrey to death. What a weasel! If he hadn’t fingered Jack for the Rooskies, Jack would have caught Cheng at Hacker Den 2.0 and this would be all over an hour ago. And then he tells Jack, “She loves you.” No shit!

“Shut up”, screams Jack!

Kate tells Jack to go after Cheng and that she will rescue Audrey.

“Do you really think you can handle this?”

“Yes.” (After all, I am taller than you.) Normally in these spy shows, like Covert Affairs on the USA network, the babes wear boots with heels. If Kate did that, she’d tower over Jack.

Jack tells Kate to call Audrey’s office to find out where she went and to put together a small team to take out the sniper and rescue her. “Keep me posted every step of the way.”

Meanwhile, at the CIA, Prez Biden and the bigwig military dudes show up. What ever happened to black Bigwig General? Did he get demoted for not finding the override code on the Drone Pilot’s flight key? They are greeted by Black Dude. This is sumpin’ new for 24. Normally when the head of station is shot or commits treason, the temporary guy who takes over only lasts for about an hour or two until Division sends someone over to take charge. Guess they couldn’t afford another actor for that this season. Anyway, Black Dude tells them where to go. A conference room at the top of the stairs has been set up. Prez Biden’s aide gives him a status update on Jack and Audrey which is nothing. Prez Biden asks a bigwig Admiral for a status but the Smart Mouth Colonel responds. He sure ain’t an admiral with two stripes on his sleeve, shoulder boards, and crossed rifles on his collar.

Meanwhile Chloe has awakened and is walking along a lonely road when a nice couple in a car stops and lets her use their phone. She calls Jack and tells him what’s up. He sez he got her message at Hacker Den 2.0 so Chloe did turn on the recording function of the phone she tried to grab. She tells him where she is and they arrange to meet.

Back at the CIA Prez Biden is talking to Prez Chink once again trying to avert a war. He tells him he will respond to the Chink actions. They get in a pissing contest. He tells Prez Chink that they have agents in the field chasing Cheng and they will produce him. Prez Chink tells him Cheng is dead and to piss off. Prez Biden tells him that there is a red line at the twelve mile limit off Okinawa and that he is not Obungler and when he draws a red line, he means it.

At the dock, Cheng and his merry band of Chinks pull up and the Rooskie captain tells them to get aboard and they’re splitting in fifteen minutes. Cheng wants to leave before then. The captain sez, “That would draw scrutiny that neither of us want.”

Jack picks up Chloe who tells him she tried to get the OD from Adrian but he pulled a rod on her. She also tells him that Adrian manipulated her and used her knowledge to help create the OD. She feels partially responsible and that’s why she has to help him. She wants to run comms for him and do all that Chloe shit that she was so good at when they both worked at CTU. Just like old times. Together again. He tells her about Audrey and that’s why he’s playing lone wolf.

Back to the park bench where Kate is skulking through the woods. Kate calls Audrey and tells her not to react to the call. She asks Audrey to make a sudden move to get a warning shot so she can spot the sniper which she does and Kate does. The sniper calls Cheng to tell him that Audrey moved and Cheng tells him if she moves again to take her out. Geez. Can’t she even scratch her ass. Kim Raver has a boney ass anyway. It gets sore sitting on the bench.

Kate updates Jack.

Jack pulls up to the docks where he is met by his Faithful Serbian Companion, Tonto. Chloe heads up to the roof of a building where she can tie into a conveniently located satellite dish so she can use a satellite to tell Jack where all the bad guys are. Chloe gives Jack and Tonto targets and they take them out with silenced assault weapons.

Back at Cheng’s control center on the ship one of his tech dudes has “been running scans” and has noticed downloads from the satellite. Cheng has the Rooskie captain do a roll call of his minions. All he receives is static. Cheng has his tech dude cut the download and redirect the feed to his laptop. He tells the Rooskies to find Chloe.

Chloe calls Kate to tell her they’ve been busted so she better act now.
Cheng calls his sniper to take out Audrey. Kate bursts from the bushes, Audrey gets behind the bench, and Kate and her team take out the sniper. With handguns? Really? At that distance? Puh-lease! No frickin’ way! But, they save Audrey.

Kate calls Black Dude and tells her she’s rescued Audrey and to send the posse down to the docks. Black Dude is all WTF? He didn’t know any of this shit was going on. Sounds like the last manager I worked for at IBM.

Back at the docks, the Chinks cut Chloe’s sat feed and jam Jack’s and Chloe’s comms. Now the Chink tech dude can see Jack and Tonto. Cheng pulls a gun on the captain and sez, “We’re leaving now!”

Jack hears the engines start and sends Tonto down to the engine room to stop the engines.

OK. I’m calling bullshit right now. This is not how it works. First off, you have to have crewmen doing shit like casting off. Single up all lines. Cast off. Next, you don’t just leave. You have to have a harbor pilot. He, along with tugs, take the ship out of the harbor. Then he hops on the pilot boat and goes back to the harbor. You don’t just leave. Three years of sea duty in the Navy talking here.

Anyway, back to Audrey. Everyone’s relieved. Kate is telling Audrey where Jack is and what’s going on. All of a sudden, a Chink with a machine gun shows up and guns down a CIA dude and Audrey and escapes in a car. Oh no! After all that work, Audrey dies and right before she dies, a tear comes out of her eye. Fortunately, she never learned that her husband committed treason. Cheer up Kate! This makes Jack a free agent. Your husband’s dead and Audrey’s dead. You and Jack. What a team! You have so much in common. You’re as tough and as hot as FBI Babe even if you are a bleached blonde.

Kate has to call Jack with the bad news. Bad news for Cheng. Jack goes all Jack Bauer and starts spraying fire and killing Chinks and Rooskies right and left. He even kills one of the bad guys with a meat cleaver.

Tonto makes it down to the engine room and has them shut the engines down.

Jack takes out the rest of Cheng’s Chinks by using one as a shield while shooting the other ones even firing a few shots through his shield. Then he and Cheng go all Kung Fu with Jack beating the crap out of Cheng. Jack tells him, “You should have stayed hidden like a rat!”

Back at the CIA, Prez Biden has given the Navy permission to engage the Chink Navy. Jack calls the CIA holding Cheng with a Samurai sword under his chin. “Tell them who you are!” Gavin sez he has facial recognition and voice recognition. Jack disconnects the call. “This is for Audrey you son of a bitch!” He then beheads him. That was too easy. If I were Jack I would do it a body part at a time.

They send the files to Prez Chink. Prez Biden calls him up and asks if he’s seen the files. He tells Prez Chink if he doesn’t turn his ships around, he will engage. Prez Chink does and sez he wants reparations for the sunken carrier and the people aboard. He agrees and they hang up.

Prez Biden’s aide tells him about Audrey and he collapses. Look! ACOS is there. When did he show up? How do you feel asshole? Audrey would still be alive if you hadn’t been so jealous.

Back at the docks, Jack and Tonto go looking for Chloe. They get up to her command station and it’s a mess. Obviously a struggle took place. Tonto spots blood. Jack’s phone rings. How do these guys always know the telephone numbers? All we hear is Jack’s side of the conversation.

“Who is this?”

“When?”

“Where?”

“Understood. I’ll be there.”

Commercial break. When we return the clock has jumped forward to 10:50:54 AM. I trust everyone got a good night’s sleep.

We’re at the CIA. Kate tells Black Dude, who still hasn’t been replaced by someone from Division, that she’s written her after action report. Black Dude tells her what happened to Audrey wasn’t her fault. She goes into her office and obviously disillusioned by what happened yesterday places her badge and her gun on the desk. She graps her coat and splits.

Black Dude goes into the room where they’re holding ACOS and tells him the guys with him are gonna escort him to an airbase where he’s gonna be flown back to the US. He looks like shit. He asks how the president is and Black Dude sez he’s boarding Air Force One.

Moving to the tarmac where AF-1 is parked, we see a flag draped casket being removed from a hearse with a military honor guard. It’s obviously Audrey. The Prime Minister is standing next to Prez Biden and is giving him his condolences. Whoa! Right behind him is Icy British Blonde Babe. I only wish she had a bigger role. In real life she’s prolly a MILF. Prez Biden tells the PM he won’t remember any of this. So sad.

Outside London at a junkyard. A chopper lands. There are snipers on the top of buildings. A car arrives. Jack and Tonto get out.

“Do you really want to go through with this?”

“Yeah.”

Chloe gets out of the chopper. It looks like it’s a trade: Chloe for Jack.

Jack yells, “She walks first!”

As they pass each other Chloe tells him that he doesn’t have to do this. He tells her, “It’s time for you to go home.” He also tells her she was right when she told him she was his best friend. Many seasons of 24 confirm that. They briefly hold hands. So touching. I’ve always liked Chloe. In many ways she was like me. She didn’t suffer fools gladly. I remember one season she worked with a dude name Edgar and she was always telling him to shut up.

When he gets to the Rooskie he tells him that if anything happens to Chloe or his family his entire world will come apart. What can they do to Jack that Cheng didn’t do to him for one-and-a-half years. The Rooskie tells him all they want is him. He gets in the chopper and they fly away. I know, we all expected that maybe he would beat the crap out of everyone and commandeer the chopper. Nope. The ssason’s over.

No more Ka-chunks.

A really good season with a really crappy ending. What ever happened to Simone? Did she wind up dying?

Someone finally found Peggy Joseph and she has changed her mind about Obungler and realizes what a fraud he is. Thanks to Dan for the link in the comments. And to all of you who emailed about it. I put this post up before I checked my mail. I’ll bet this article is being linked to by a lot of people on the interweb.

NEW YORK – In his new full-length documentary film, “There’s No Place Like Utopia,” Joel Gilbert found Peggy Joseph, the Florida voter who became infamous during the 2008 presidential campaign for saying Barack Obama would “pay for my gas and my mortgage.”

Surprisingly, some six years into the Obama presidency, Joseph has turned against the president, disappointed that he did not deliver on his “hope and change” campaign promises.

“Peggy reminded me of Dorothy from ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ who thought the magical wizard would solve all her problems,” Gilbert told WND in an interview.

He provided an excerpt of Joseph in the film.

Video at the link. It will ask you to install a program. Don’t bother. You don’t need it to watch the video.

“When I finally found her address, I knocked on her door and brought her a pair of ruby slippers. When I interviewed Peggy, I was astonished that Peggy explained that she was now anti-Obama. She told me, ‘He was not who we thought or expected him to be.’”

As Gilbert interviewed Joseph for his documentary, he was surprised to learn her life was quite opposite of the welfare mother image she had given on television.

He was shocked to learn she was a suburban soccer mom with four children, who earned her living as a hard-working nurse, the daughter of Haitian immigrants.

Even more surprising, Joseph and her children, just like her Haitian immigrant parents, had no history of ever accepting any form of government assistance or taxpayer-funded handouts.

“Truth and honesty are important,” Joseph explained to Gilbert in the film. “He lied about everything.”

Joseph explained that after doing some research and listening more carefully to Obama, she realized he was a fraud, and “just like the Wizard of Oz, Obama has turned out to be nothing more than a man behind a curtain.”

She explained that her comments to a reporter in 2008 were a result of being caught up in the emotion of an Obama campaign rally, and she didn’t think for herself.

Gilbert told WND his experience with Joseph was repeated many times over as he filmed his new documentary.

That’s what you get when you vote for skin color over reality. The Dimocrat Party is not the friend of the poor or black people. It keeps blacks poor, uneducated, mired in poverty, and dependent upon the gummint. And the useful idiots in the Congressional Black Caucus are selling out their constituents. Didja see Sheila Jackson Lee down on the border giving lollipops to the kids from South America?

Blacks have been voting for Dimocrats for 50 years and guess what? They’re still poor, uneducated (Remember Precious from the St. Trayvon of Skittles trial who was 19 years old, in the 11th grade, and couldn’t read cursive?), mired in poverty, and dependent upon the gummint? You can’t help people who won’t help themselves by not finishing school (even if they do suck at least graduate), getting preggers at 15, not learning how to read or write English (Ebonics is not a fucking language), and having children they cannot afford to raise.

Blacks did far better under Reagan and both Bushes than they have under the Chocolate Jesus, the Obamessiah. Currently the demographic with the highest unemployment rate are blacks. Black teenagers are doing even worse. We have illegal Mexican immigrants doing the jobs that blacks could do because they’ll work for less money. Check out your local car wash. Mostly Mexicans. Who cuts the grass? Mexicans. Who does the painting? Mexicans. Yeah working at the car wash is menial labor, but it’s a job and a good place to learn a work ethic. As a kid, I cut grass (the stuff that grows in yards), raked leaves, shoveled snow, and cleaned gutters. I also babysat.

Illegals are doing the jobs Americans won’t do because they’re willing to work for less money than Americans. By giving amnesty to illegals and allowing more to enter the country they’re depriving blacks entry level jobs, but Dimocrats don’t worry. They have the useful idiots of the CBC telling their constituents that all is well. Who else are they gonna vote for? A white dude? A black conservative who is branded an Uncle Tom by black “leaders” like members of the CBC, members of the NAACP, Jesse Hymietown Jackson, and Al Tawana Brawley Crown Heights Riots Freddy’s Fashion Mart Arson Sharpton? All those people are getting rich while “their people” remain poor, uneducated, mired in poverty and dependent upon the gummint. What a scam! And the suckers keep voting for it. For 50 years! Unbelievable!

What is it Einstein said? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. For 50 frickin’ years! And if I say blacks are dumb, I’m a racist. Guess what? Blacks are dumb! I’m a frickin’ racist!

Welcome to Obumblers America.

From Rob.

A 73 year old woman! Disgusting! This is why door locks click when people see blacks. The girl was only 15 so all she’ll get is a slap on the wrist and some community service. She’ll do it again. This is just training for bigger and better stuff in her future.

From Toejam.

Yep. Besides witnessing Atlas Shrugged, we’re living in the Twilight Zone. We have a president who was prolly not even born in this country and who refuses to release any of his college transcripts. A publisher of one of his ghost written books said in a bio that he was the first US Senator born in Kenya. Did he get financial aid as a foreign student when attending Occidental College? Did he make good grades? How did he get a Social Security number that corresponds to Connecticut when he was living in Hawaii? Who paid for his trip to Mooslime countries as a college student? We’ll never know. We knew more about Sarah Palin a week after McRINO picked her as his running mate than we’ll ever know about Obungler. Thanks Dimocrats. Thanks LSM propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party. You’re all guilty of treason.

Over the weekend I read that the TSA is not subjecting these illegal children to the same levels of screening when they ship them around the country as they do regular citizens.

These children are bringing in diseases. They’re bringing in head lice. This invasion, which is what it is, can be laid at the feet of Obungler, Eric “My people” Holder, and the Dimocrat Party. They should not be shipped around the country. They should be shipped back to where they came. Assholes!

This one is from Bob.

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now – in her 80’s – a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, (more…)

So Obungler was in Austin and went to Franklin BBQ. Geez! Anyone knows the place to go for BBQ in Austin is the Salt Lick. Chris Muir at DBD got it right on his Sunday cartoon.

We had a blogmeet in Austin. It was the first official blodgemeet of the Blownstar Blodgers. The first night, we went to the Salt Lick. Great BBQ!

Back in the early ’70’s, prolly the day before Thanksgiving of 1971, I was delivering flowers for Walter Knoll, in St. Louis. That was one of my part time jobs while I was going to college. I know it was a holiday because I was in my own car, rather than one of Wally’s trucks, getting a piece rate in addition to my hourly rate.

Funny thing with the dudes who delivered flowers for Wally. First off, he only had a few full time drivers. When I was still in college there were only two full time guys, Pogie the dispatcher and Benny. The rest were part timers. Two were firemen who worked on some of their days off. Another guy worked at the GM plant but worked part time so he’d have money when the union went on strike. I worked part time until I dropped out of college and then full time while I was looking for a real job which I got in 1973 when I was hired by IBM. The other funny thing was the specialization. The guys could only run one route, either North St. Louis and St. Louis County or West and South St. Louis and St. Louis County. I could never understand this. This was before GPS, but we had freakin’ maps! I was the only guy who could do all of the routes and I could do them faster than the regular guys. In fact, when I gave my notice to Wally after I was hired by IBM he wanted to match my salary until I told him how much it was and the benefits I was gonna get, medical, pension, stock, paid vacation, etc. I still worked some holidays after that but where most guys got 75 cents per package, I demanded and got a dollar per package ’cause I took the far out routes and I demanded the use of one of his trucks so I wouldn’t have to pay for gas. Eventually, I made enough money at IBM that I didn’t need the extra money.

But, I digress. It was dark and around 8:00 PM and I was listening to KSHE and the following came on.

Holy freakin’ crap! This was the best version of Roll Over Beethoven I ever heard! I had to wait in the car until it was over before I walked up to the door to give the people the flowers I was delivering. I went out the next day and bought the album on 8-track. The live stuff was much better than the studio stuff on the other side.

Not too long after this Felix Pappalardi had to quit the band because he was going deaf. My friend Alixe and I went to see West, Bruce, and Laing shortly after that. I guess Jack Bruce hooked up with them because he knew Felix Pappalardi since he had produced some Cream albums and had co-written some of their songs with them. Corky Laing literally threw his drum sticks at the drums and many of them flew out into the audience. He kept a quiver full of sticks beside him. Great concert with some Mountain stuff and some Cream stuff. We prolly only paid three bucks for it. Concerts were really cheap back then. Most of them were around five bucks. Ten dollars was an expensive show. I really liked the 70’s.

Since it’s Summer, why don’t we listen to a guitar cover of Summer from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons?

What’s interesting here is one dude is flat-picking it, while the other dude is
finger-picking it.

Michael sent me this one.

A female uninformed voter heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The female uninformed voter came to the door and the milkman said, “I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?”

The female uninformed voter said, “No, I want 25 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.”

The milkman asked, “Do you want it pasteurized?”

The female uninformed voter said, “No, just up to my tits … I can splash it on my eyes!”

Summertime boobage on the water. (more…)