Ah yes another Saturday morning and as predicted another pair of silicon sacks to wake up to. This past week most of us saw what the astronomers call the “super” full moon. Now Denny has brought us breast adorers the “Super” full boobage.
I’m not particularly impressed since it the long stems below the waist that make me stand up and pay attention. Unfortunately, this lass isn’t exhibiting a smidgen of gorgeous gams. Sad.
Enough of the beginning banter. Let’s get on with the predictably low rating session.
1) Face: Funny, I’ve seen that face in porn videos. Yea, it was buried in the crotch of another babe but I’d recognize it anywhere. It appears kinda bloated like she’s O.D.’d on steroids. Her olive skin appears we have yet another Latina or possibly a Mediterranean female, although I’m not making any positive assessment. Her eyes are kinda dull like someone popped a little dose of Quaalude powder in her steroid dose. Nose? Not Roman or Greek. Sort of bulbous at the end and thin up to the bridge. No evidence of alteration. Mouth? As I stated before those lips have been locked on numerous Labia, thus the tight but extended grimace. Probably trying to hide the numerous pubic hairs stuck between her teeth. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: Whoa! Attention all you ambulance chasing attorneys: Doc Finkelstein is definitely NOT responsible for those bloated monsters. Whoever stuffed those turkeys must have a degree in Picasso-style art. I can’t imagine why a woman would want those monsters on her chest, except to get starring roles in the porn flick industry. Even though those aureoles are huge, in proportion to her tits they are barely visible. Sorry honey, you might have a great personality, but it’s overshadowed by those sagging mammaries. Rating: “D-“.
3) Torso: The finest part of a less than average body. Tight, nicely flared hips and an “innie” that could serve as a silo for a minuteman missile. Cavernous “innies” aren’t really a negative. Unless, of course’ they eclipse the lady’s entire mid-section. Rating: “B”.
Toejam’s overall rating: “D+”.
Alas, I tried to find some positive features in this lady’s body, but I have an ethical responsibility to assess it as I see it. My advice: Ma’am, get to Dr. Finkelstein and have those boobs reduced. That’d be a start on your way to a better rating. Also, when munching on those pussies make sure you use a toothpick to remove all those strands of Mother Nature’s dental floss.
Finally, I have to say a big “I MISS YOU” to my carnal playmate DDP. Miss you terribly dear. My bed is colder than a refrigerator gone wild without your sweet warm body next to mine. See ya soon, babe! 🙂
Finally!! Four years of monitoring Saturday boobage pays off. All good things cone to those who wait. Time to do my finger stretching exercises and be her “living bra.”
How can you cast your eyes on those mounds of perfection and not believe there is a kind, loving God?
Lordy lordy them are bigger than forty
I’m gonna add this to my bucket list…
Those are just downright scary…
Damn, can’t wait to read TJ evaluation of this one!
Can you imagine lugging those around all day – everyday?
They are nice to look at – and play with, though.
A real man would offer to help her carry those around. I would lend a hand…or 2.
Ah yes another Saturday morning and as predicted another pair of silicon sacks to wake up to. This past week most of us saw what the astronomers call the “super” full moon. Now Denny has brought us breast adorers the “Super” full boobage.
I’m not particularly impressed since it the long stems below the waist that make me stand up and pay attention. Unfortunately, this lass isn’t exhibiting a smidgen of gorgeous gams. Sad.
Enough of the beginning banter. Let’s get on with the predictably low rating session.
1) Face: Funny, I’ve seen that face in porn videos. Yea, it was buried in the crotch of another babe but I’d recognize it anywhere. It appears kinda bloated like she’s O.D.’d on steroids. Her olive skin appears we have yet another Latina or possibly a Mediterranean female, although I’m not making any positive assessment. Her eyes are kinda dull like someone popped a little dose of Quaalude powder in her steroid dose. Nose? Not Roman or Greek. Sort of bulbous at the end and thin up to the bridge. No evidence of alteration. Mouth? As I stated before those lips have been locked on numerous Labia, thus the tight but extended grimace. Probably trying to hide the numerous pubic hairs stuck between her teeth. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: Whoa! Attention all you ambulance chasing attorneys: Doc Finkelstein is definitely NOT responsible for those bloated monsters. Whoever stuffed those turkeys must have a degree in Picasso-style art. I can’t imagine why a woman would want those monsters on her chest, except to get starring roles in the porn flick industry. Even though those aureoles are huge, in proportion to her tits they are barely visible. Sorry honey, you might have a great personality, but it’s overshadowed by those sagging mammaries. Rating: “D-“.
3) Torso: The finest part of a less than average body. Tight, nicely flared hips and an “innie” that could serve as a silo for a minuteman missile. Cavernous “innies” aren’t really a negative. Unless, of course’ they eclipse the lady’s entire mid-section. Rating: “B”.
Toejam’s overall rating: “D+”.
Alas, I tried to find some positive features in this lady’s body, but I have an ethical responsibility to assess it as I see it. My advice: Ma’am, get to Dr. Finkelstein and have those boobs reduced. That’d be a start on your way to a better rating. Also, when munching on those pussies make sure you use a toothpick to remove all those strands of Mother Nature’s dental floss.
Finally, I have to say a big “I MISS YOU” to my carnal playmate DDP. Miss you terribly dear. My bed is colder than a refrigerator gone wild without your sweet warm body next to mine. See ya soon, babe! 🙂
Jana Defi–NOM!
I usually don’t like the term “heavy hangers” but sometimes the term applies. But she has a beautiful innie tummy button.
I don’t usually agree with toejam, but that woman is disgusting.
10 perfect
Thus proving you *can* have too much of a good thing.
Finally!! Four years of monitoring Saturday boobage pays off. All good things cone to those who wait. Time to do my finger stretching exercises and be her “living bra.”
How can you cast your eyes on those mounds of perfection and not believe there is a kind, loving God?
PS– please renew my subscription
Why do I think each one has it’s zip code?
Succulent! They are huge and real. Physics rules, there is no unnatural droopage. Maybe I should take over Toejam’s definitive review…
Whatever haters, A+++, supermoterboating!