How Ironic is it that the current HOA Nazi is Jewish? Actually it’s not the president but his big ol’ cow of a wife. She’s so fat that when they have sex he has to roll her in flour and find the wet spot so he knows where to put it. He’s a skinny little dude and she’s huge. She’s also a bitch.
I got a courtesy reminder about my beds and they even sent me a picture so I knew which ones I needed to address. I took care of them but last week I got a second notice of violation with a picture of different beds. Wouldn’t you think my taking care of the first ones pictured would reset the clock? Nope. And here it is Fall and with the leaves falling it totally hides the weeds. Wouldn’t you think they would wait until Spring? Not the current administration. These assholes prolly voted for Obungler.
It’s gonna take me another week to take care of the violation. I’m in no hurry. May as well piss them off as much as they piss me off.
Assholes!
I lived at the coast in Long Beach, CA. in a wonderful top floor condo over looking the ocean. Best weather in America but it really turned into a HOA POS when a fat woman I named steel tits Betty took over.
She would’ve made one of the hairy woman Nazi guards in the 40’s look meek. She made my life miserable and after 3 years, my wife & I sold the place and moved to the central CA mountains far from her. No one gives a shit how I park my truck here as that old goat did.
Denny, Denny – rise above all this negativity and conflict! Think positive and positively!
For instance, grow a few pots full of weeds, then put the pot in the garden bed (sunk down, so she cannot see the pots). Receive the notice, then remove the pots. Or buy plastic flowers of the wrong type, and stick them in the ground. An old camo net with branches and twigs attached to it – you can roll it out one day, and roll it back a week later. You could keep her amused for years!
I have some urns on either side of my front door. Every thing I put in them died so they are now sitting there empty. I’m thinking of getting some pink flamingos to put in them just to piss her off. Right now, I dug up a boxwood shrub and most of it is still sitting there waiting to be bagged up. I’ve bought two azaleas and they are still in their pots. I’ll plant them in a few days. I’ve also placed two unopened bags of pine bark nuggets in the beds and I’ll open them and spread the nuggets after I do the azaleas. The funny thing is I was planning on doing this last Monday, but Melverda died and I had to go to the funeral. This second notice of violation has now pushed my gardening chores back by a week just to piss them off. The president of the HOA is a rabbi and he has to walk by my house at least twice a day on the way to the synagogue. I’m sure it’s his cow of a wife who is behind this bullshit. I was on the board with her one year and I know just what a vicious bitch she is. I resigned from the board after four months because I didn’t like telling people to do stuff. The HOA Nazis hide behind the management company. They send out the violation notices. These people are too cowardly to do any of this shit face to face.
Denny …You could always send her a customized Fruit Cake Tin filled to the brim with fresh juicy cow shit like I did to our neighborhood bitch when I was a kid.
It would be best to have a close friend send it to her anonymously from a location around Atlanta but not in your location.
Just try to keep a straight face when the police come around looking for clues.
HOAs are a pain in the ass. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with them now. The last place I lived had ’em. What a bunch of fucked up shitbags. Your fence has to look like this… make sure your grass stays watered (you payin the bill?) you can only have two dogs (does that mean you’ll take care of my pit bull/presa mix?) oh, but let the fuckin cats run all over the place an let em shit in my flowers. Hell with ’em I didn’t pay my last 8 months dues (divorced, and defaulted on the house.. ). Hell with HOAs. (can ya tell I don’t like em?) Denny let it go fer awhile, and see what they have to bitch about.
I sure hope that the HOA doesn’t read your blog.
Tell the FAT b!tch to clean it up, by your description she could use the exercise. I second the shipping of manure to her 🙂
Enroll them in one of those “Bacon of the Month Clubs”. Anonymously, of course.
Recently I read that a seat on a HOA is a golden opportunity for people with too much time on their hands to piss around in other peoples business. Other than community property and street landscaping, none of this should be any of their business. Recently I applied for a permit to have out 20 year old house repainted and their fat assed property manager booted the request because the 3 inch soffet exposure color we and a color expert chose was not on their “approved” list. When I yelled at them to forget it I was not going to have it painted, a week later I got a violation letter telling me I had to have the trim repainted. A neighbor received a serious head injury in a fall and spent 3 weeks in a hospital only to come home and find a violation letter from the fat ass property manager for having 4 grapefruit on the ground.
A real bunch of scum bags.
This isn’t a good real life idea, but it’s amusing to peruse the Amazon selection of “lawn gnomes”. Maybe it’s just Amazon’s accommodation of my own perverted taste, but what I get is a list of vulgar statuettes. For example, here’s a cute little fellow flashing both the finger and the moon.
Someone else suggested the lawn gnome idea. Believe me, I’m tempted.
I’ve never even been the victim of a HOA and I hate them already.
If you have someone that can source you some angry live badgers you might have a friend anonymously mail them to her. Sounds like she could use the company.
There must be a way to exploit the ADA to your advantage. They are forcing you to do shit you don’t want to or can’t do. The threat of a big, nasty lawsuit can be fun.
I did get them when they sent me a violation about my trashcan being seen from the road. Here in the county I live in, if you are disabled you can put your trashcan outside of your garage on pickup day rather than taking it down to the road. There is a decal they give you to put on your mailbox. So, I sent a letter to the HOA management company which sends out the violation notices. I enclosed a picture of me in in my wheelchair in front of my mailbox and had an arrow pointing to me labeled Disabled Guy and an arrow pointing to the mailbox. I enclosed another picture of the mailbox with the county decal on it. I explained the policy and said that my trashcan was only out on collection days. I demanded an apology from both the management company and the HOA board and said I was sick of this harassment of a disabled American veteran. I pointed out that I got three violation notices to trim bushes that were not on my property The management company apologized. The HOA board never did. Now I live to piss them off.
What the hell gives these Nazis the authority for this kind of tyranny and oppression? I’m just asking.
HOA are an example of what’s wrong with America.
KarlU, what gives them that power is the document all purchasers SIGN at the time of closing. Doing so signifies that you ACCEPT their rule over you.
Sorry, but caveat emptor.
Denny, I am very sorry you are going thru this, but I have one bit of advice for you.
SELL YOUR PLACE.
And buy a detached, single family home.
Without a HOA, bien sur.
I would do that, but the house is so perfect for me. The HOA is actually a mild irritant and I know I piss off the Nazis as much, if not more, than they do me.