I win the lottery. That’s what makes this a fantasy since I never play because you have a better chance of being hit by lightning than winning the lottery. I love the lottery! It’s a tax on poor people. Here in Georgia the lottery is devoted to the Hope Scholarship program which pays for mostly white middle class students to attend college. So poor black people pay for a middle class program for white kids and it’s totally voluntary. Is this genius or what? Thank you Zell Miller. I’ll even forgive you for cutting an ad for Michelle Nunn Martin in the Senate race.
But, I digress. I win the lottery and not just a little prize. I win one of those mega million dollar payouts where I walk away with $30 million or more. I immediately have a new house built. While that’s being done, I dismiss my yard guy at my current house so the yard goes to hell. I have my house painted pink with purple polka dots. I put signs in my front yard stating my opinion of the HOA and advising people not to buy a house here. After I move into my new house, I flood my old house to destroy the floors. I take a sledgehammer to the drywall. I rip out half the plumbing. I break out all of the windows. As I leave, I do donuts in the front yard. I totally ignore all the violation notices and pay none of the fines.
Naturally, they will have to put a lien on the house and I’ll let them have it. It will cost over $100K to fix it up to be able to sell it and they’ll make less that $200K on a $300K house. After they do, no one will have to pay HOA dues for quite some time, but in the meantime, everyone’s property values will temporarily drop and people will have a hard time selling their houses if they want to move. Of course they’ll be pissed off at me, but they’ll also be pissed off at the HOA Nazi for driving me to do this. I’ll be gone, but she’ll still be there.
Maybe I will start buying lottery tickets.
after winning the lottery you’ll still at least post Saturday Boobage right?
Just do a private sale at a price so low that a section 8 mother with six teenage kids and a passel of younger ones can buy it. She and her brood will drive the HOA Nazi to apoplexy. That way the liens will be against the new owner and the foreclosure won’t be on your credit rating. And the HOA Nazi will have to listen to the charges of “Raciss cracker”
That’s even better. She’ll have to sign the HOA agreement, but then she can ignore it and scream “Racism!” Just how neat would that be to have a bunch of black protesters at the entrance to the subdivision? Then the rest of the subdivision would really hate the HOA Nazi! Thanks for embellishing my fantasy. Who cares about your credit rating when you have $30 million in cash?
jjs, thanks for getting to the important stuff, I was worried about that too (Maybe we’d all get upgraded to full-frontal Saturday).
Rog, who gives a shit about your credit rating when you got $30 mill laying around. Straight cash, homies.
It’s good to dream big.
Hell, if I won the lottery, I’d send you enough “fuck you” money just so you could.
As a former PITA (PainInTheAss) to a HOA. How well I know where your coming from. Wishing you the best of luck on the lottery!
Would I be correct in assuming you are having HOA issues again?
I like the welfare brood idea. But make ’em illegals.
Hell, you could turn it into a “Little Dearborn” by fillin’ the place with illegal Somali immigrants.
inbred – you live in Maine? Yeah, I know, it’s everywhere. I went in to the social security office recently to signup for medicare. Outside of the people helping the people who could not speak English, I was the only white guy there. We have a ton of Somalis. I left after 25 minutes of no movement in the line. Our Guv is refusing to reimburse Portland and the other cities in Maine that give assistance to illegals. Good for him. The libs are up in arms. I’d like to hand out bars of soap.
I think I read that there is one town in Maine that has the most lavish welfare benefits in the country and Somalis are flocking there to take advantage of them. All of these Somali freeloaders need to be sent back to Somalia where they fucking belong. This country is committing suicide right before our eyes.
That would be LA – Lewiston-Auburn. Several years back, the tribal elders in your neighborhood of Atlanta found out that LA had very easy pickings for welfare. That was when we were still governed mostly by libs who made that possible. They started sending busloads of Somalis up here. The mayor of LA wrote to the elders and asked that they stop because LA was running out of resources. He was tarred and feathered by the lame stream media for being so insensitive and ‘racist’. A few years ago when Oshitbama came to Portland, I joined several hundred other protesters on the street. One Somali kid, in his late teens I would guess, walked through us yelling something like “what’s it feel like to be supporting me on welfare”?
Nah, I’m here in Kommifornia. Now you’ve got me thinkin’, though. I bet if we started importin’ some o’ them-there Somalis into the neighborhoods where we’ve got lots of “undocumented future Dimocrat voters” from south of the border (and I’m talkin’ all the way south to Tierra del Fuego) we’d sure start hearin’ a different tune about “immigration” from the illegals who’re already here.
Yes I am. The only consolation is the fact that I’m pissing her off as much as she’s pissing me off since her pussy whipped husband, who’s the rabbi at the synagogue down the street, and is the president of the HOA (but she wears the pants in the family and they are big pants since she’s a tub of lard so she’s the person actually running the HOA) has to walk by my house to and from the synagogue every day.
What What Whaaat?
I knew I made the right decision of choosing to never live anywhere with a HOA. One time was enough. Too many cliquish motherfuckers who live in glass houses and ego trips for my blood… and bail account.
Put your present yard guy to work at your new house and give him a raise.
You get your yard work done the way you want it, the guy is still employed and the results at your old house would be the same.
Everyone wins!