Emergency CODE PURPLE: Dr Finkelstein report to the operating room, STAT. We have a severe case of bloated boobage. If the gasses get much worse the explosion will drive her 20mm aureoles through the double width concrete walls and decapitate anyone on the other side. This lady certainly wasn’t born with that malicious malady. I figure the gauge on the gas station air pump must have malfunctioned. I believe this photograph should go way beyond an “R” rating right up to the “P” rating (“P” for puke).
OK, let’s get on with the abbreviated, bashing rating session.
1) Face: The coal-black hair makes her look like a perfect clone of Mortica. Actually, more like Uncle Fester wearing his Halloween wig. About the only rating booster is her nicely sculpted nose. No bulbous nasal apex and relatively well proportioned. Lips? Bloated. They must be the relief valve to the gasses emanating from her boobs. On the plus side they probably would make great Johnson pillows. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: UGH! They make Hillary Clinton’s fat butt look almost slender. Come on Denny, even you should be on board with the terrible disfigurement this lady suffers from. I’ve seen some oversized boobs before but capped with aureoles the size of manhole lids they are certainly way beyond bad….They are evil. Rating: “D-“.
3) Torso: As usual, the most appealing part of the majority of Saturday ladies’ anatomy. Slim, toned and flawless make her tummy a great sight for horny eyes. Alas, as usual Denny has cropped the photo to eliminate her (I suspect) gorgeous gams. I can only estimate they are long, slender and shapely. Of course I can’t rate what I can’t see so they cannot be counted in my final rating. Rating: “B+”.
Overall Toejam rating: “C” (barely).
Yea, I know the rating is barely mediocre, but it’s an honest one by an experienced female anatomical expert.
Where the hell is DDP? I haven’t heard from her in a week. I bet she’s out there somewhere entertaining some young stud. I cherish the thought of our mutual acceptance of free love. I’m not jealous. I just hope she checked to see if the dude wasn’t a doctor just back from treating Ebola patients.
OH, just got word, DDP is driving a CAT-9 at Malibu preparing a 50 foot tall, 300 feet long dirt berm in case that Hawaiian lava crosses the Pacific and assaults the Malibu beach with a force stronger and more deadly that 100 Atom Bombs. You go girl. Don’t get those fantastic tits caught in the bulldozer’s controls 🙂
Don’t worry Toejam. I’m safe and well. Just been out traveling in the wild where’s there’s no internet. Found a great place for us to go skinny dipping!
She is perfection . As if she didn’t have enough going for her with those looks, and those glorious boobs she has that wonderful little innie tummy button . I would wager that would be the source of immediate and repeated orgasms as soon as it is penetrated by the tip of tongue.
Raven haired beauty at its finest!
‘They’ say that more than a handful is a waste, well when your hand will nearly span 10″ like mine. Nothing going to waste here!
Waaal doggie, Ellie Mae! It looks like you and Dr. Granny got a mite rambunctious with her silly-cone! I reckon you’ll end up with a couple of black eyes if’n you go out varmint-chasin’ without one of them newfangled double-barrel slingshots you was messin’ with the other day. But I don’t think that one would be big enough for them-thar baby-feeders of yourn. At least if you fall into the see-ment pond, I reckon you’ll float right nicely! Face up, too!
(Oh, and if I was you Ellie Mae, I’d stick to blonde. Did Jethro give you that black dye he was using on his shoes and the truck? I don’t reckon it’s good for your hair. )
Can you say motorboat? I know that you can. Vroom, vroom!
them babies are so big all you could say is Moohumph ……… Then gasp for air
Holy sh*t!
Lovely lass.
“Click to enlarge”? – seriously, she’s been clicked enough!
I hope this pisses off liberals and moooooooo slimes… Those nipples look tasty like bacon!
I hope this pisses off liberals and moooooooo slimes… Those nipples look tasty like bacon!
They look more like Teriyaki flavored tofu buds to me.
And I’m a strict Conservative.
Emergency CODE PURPLE: Dr Finkelstein report to the operating room, STAT. We have a severe case of bloated boobage. If the gasses get much worse the explosion will drive her 20mm aureoles through the double width concrete walls and decapitate anyone on the other side. This lady certainly wasn’t born with that malicious malady. I figure the gauge on the gas station air pump must have malfunctioned. I believe this photograph should go way beyond an “R” rating right up to the “P” rating (“P” for puke).
OK, let’s get on with the abbreviated, bashing rating session.
1) Face: The coal-black hair makes her look like a perfect clone of Mortica. Actually, more like Uncle Fester wearing his Halloween wig. About the only rating booster is her nicely sculpted nose. No bulbous nasal apex and relatively well proportioned. Lips? Bloated. They must be the relief valve to the gasses emanating from her boobs. On the plus side they probably would make great Johnson pillows. Rating: “C”.
2) Boobage: UGH! They make Hillary Clinton’s fat butt look almost slender. Come on Denny, even you should be on board with the terrible disfigurement this lady suffers from. I’ve seen some oversized boobs before but capped with aureoles the size of manhole lids they are certainly way beyond bad….They are evil. Rating: “D-“.
3) Torso: As usual, the most appealing part of the majority of Saturday ladies’ anatomy. Slim, toned and flawless make her tummy a great sight for horny eyes. Alas, as usual Denny has cropped the photo to eliminate her (I suspect) gorgeous gams. I can only estimate they are long, slender and shapely. Of course I can’t rate what I can’t see so they cannot be counted in my final rating. Rating: “B+”.
Overall Toejam rating: “C” (barely).
Yea, I know the rating is barely mediocre, but it’s an honest one by an experienced female anatomical expert.
Where the hell is DDP? I haven’t heard from her in a week. I bet she’s out there somewhere entertaining some young stud. I cherish the thought of our mutual acceptance of free love. I’m not jealous. I just hope she checked to see if the dude wasn’t a doctor just back from treating Ebola patients.
OH, just got word, DDP is driving a CAT-9 at Malibu preparing a 50 foot tall, 300 feet long dirt berm in case that Hawaiian lava crosses the Pacific and assaults the Malibu beach with a force stronger and more deadly that 100 Atom Bombs. You go girl. Don’t get those fantastic tits caught in the bulldozer’s controls 🙂
Don’t worry Toejam. I’m safe and well. Just been out traveling in the wild where’s there’s no internet. Found a great place for us to go skinny dipping!
~XxxOoo
She is perfection . As if she didn’t have enough going for her with those looks, and those glorious boobs she has that wonderful little innie tummy button . I would wager that would be the source of immediate and repeated orgasms as soon as it is penetrated by the tip of tongue.
Droolin’ here.
Damn , first time I did not need to click to enlarge!
“Click to Enlarge” I don’t have to.
If she didn’t have her hands over her head those things would be at navel level.
Whatever happened to ‘natural’?
MC
I wanted to piss off Toejam.
Okay… pissing off toejam is easy. Let’s see somebody perky, with a smile on her face. Red hair would be nice, too…
MC
Agree..been awhile since we seen a Red Crested Bed Thrasher here 🙂
Dude! I just posted one last week. Did you miss it? http://grouchyoldcripple.com/2014/10/saturday-boobage-10-25-2014/#more-16353
Sadly,as I age my memory gets shorter too 🙂
Alice Goodwin–NOM!
Step Back boys,Daddy’s got this one 🙂
Raven haired beauty at its finest!
‘They’ say that more than a handful is a waste, well when your hand will nearly span 10″ like mine. Nothing going to waste here!
Looks like the perfect venue to put a bat in the upper deck.
Waaal doggie, Ellie Mae! It looks like you and Dr. Granny got a mite rambunctious with her silly-cone! I reckon you’ll end up with a couple of black eyes if’n you go out varmint-chasin’ without one of them newfangled double-barrel slingshots you was messin’ with the other day. But I don’t think that one would be big enough for them-thar baby-feeders of yourn. At least if you fall into the see-ment pond, I reckon you’ll float right nicely! Face up, too!
(Oh, and if I was you Ellie Mae, I’d stick to blonde. Did Jethro give you that black dye he was using on his shoes and the truck? I don’t reckon it’s good for your hair. )
What a way to go.
I don’t know…looks like the left one is a little smaller than the right. Lets see if next Saturdays a little better…