Denny…legs? You had to post one with legs?! Toejam is surely going to leave me for this one. I can understand throwing the old dog a bone once in a while…but really?! Legs, torso, AND tiny nips?!
Toejam….I hope you realize that I am much more than a photograph, and my warm body awaits you at our usual suite in Malibu.
Not to worry DDP, my dear. Her legs would look like they came off of a Victorian piano in a whore house compared to your long, silky, smooth gams. Oh, I can close my eyes and picture their full length exposed below those very, very terrycloth short shorts you often wear. Eeeeek, I can almost reach out in my mind’s eye and gently stroke them from your upper thigh right down to your slender ankles…………..Time out for a cold shower.
Ok, back to today’s subject:
Well, she has a few positive assets, despite this being the most massaged photo since Mathew Brady, on the specific orders from President Lincoln, worked to erase the corpses of Union soldiers from his daguerreotypes taken at the battle of Antietam. Yup, the overdone photo-shopping make this young lady look like someone out of Madame Tussauds wax museums. On the other hand she could be a corpse propped up at a local funeral home, eye lids glued open and waiting for her first necrophilliac inclined customer. In any event, I’ll try my best to make a professional and detailed analysis of this lady……dead or alive.
1) Face: Typical of a porn star on her lunch break. Blonde hair? Yea, but it’s been lightened up. I like the idea of those very fine locks being rumpled about by her hands. Of course the idea behind the arms up position is to lift the boobage. Too much make up and that riveting eye-stare is what gives her the Zombie look. Scrape off all that plaster and I believe there is a pretty face underneath. But we’ll never find out. Rating: “B+”.
2) Boobage: Yahoo, proper sized aureoles tipped by firm nipples are the hallmark plusses. I honestly believe her boobs haven’t seen the sharp edge of a scalpel. They appear to be real and very symmetrical. Unless one makes a very close inspection for minor irregularities it’s hard to fault these chest puppies. Rating: “A+”.
3) Torso: Very nice. Slim, yet enticing. A perfect pillow to rest one’s weary head after a long copulatory session. Rating: “A”.
4) Legs: Despite DDP’s fretting I don’t see these legs as more than mediocre. I believe it’s the photo manipulation that’s caused them to appear kinda lifeless. Yea, they are shaped well but they don’t pique my interest. I guess my previous orgasm inducing image of DDP’s perfect legs has blurred my ocular sensory. In any case we’ll toss them a bone, so to speak and thus the Rating: “B+”.
Toejam’s overall rating: “A”.
Yup, she does have appeal, but hardly the kind that would make me stray from my true love, DDP. I’m checking the net right now DDP for a cheap flight to Malibu. It’s currently 25 degrees F. here in North Carolina and I’m in need of your sensuous body warmth to get my body thawed out. When I’m sufficiently warmed up and “up” we can light a couple of those Thai Buddhist Jasmine sticks, sip a glass of fine 2005 Beck Burgenland Pinot Noir and do the horizontal tango to the soft muted: Rodrigo’s famous Concierto de Aranjuez for guitar. Here’s an excellent example to get you in the “mmod” for love my dear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6NcN4pueMc
Till tomorrow I’ll ache and pine for your sweet scent and loving arms, DDP!
Those appear to be Mentor brand round breast implants. Suprapectoral insertion. Now I can say with certainty, Toejam has never actually seen a female breast.
Well, TJ’s right on about the lady’s face. Without the thick, thick plastering of paint, she’s likely quite pretty. I don’t find the faux-sweater puppies to be all that attractive though.
Yummy !
A rare southern exposure….thx Denny
Denny…legs? You had to post one with legs?! Toejam is surely going to leave me for this one. I can understand throwing the old dog a bone once in a while…but really?! Legs, torso, AND tiny nips?!
Toejam….I hope you realize that I am much more than a photograph, and my warm body awaits you at our usual suite in Malibu.
~XxxOoo
Not to worry DDP, my dear. Her legs would look like they came off of a Victorian piano in a whore house compared to your long, silky, smooth gams. Oh, I can close my eyes and picture their full length exposed below those very, very terrycloth short shorts you often wear. Eeeeek, I can almost reach out in my mind’s eye and gently stroke them from your upper thigh right down to your slender ankles…………..Time out for a cold shower.
Ok, back to today’s subject:
Well, she has a few positive assets, despite this being the most massaged photo since Mathew Brady, on the specific orders from President Lincoln, worked to erase the corpses of Union soldiers from his daguerreotypes taken at the battle of Antietam. Yup, the overdone photo-shopping make this young lady look like someone out of Madame Tussauds wax museums. On the other hand she could be a corpse propped up at a local funeral home, eye lids glued open and waiting for her first necrophilliac inclined customer. In any event, I’ll try my best to make a professional and detailed analysis of this lady……dead or alive.
1) Face: Typical of a porn star on her lunch break. Blonde hair? Yea, but it’s been lightened up. I like the idea of those very fine locks being rumpled about by her hands. Of course the idea behind the arms up position is to lift the boobage. Too much make up and that riveting eye-stare is what gives her the Zombie look. Scrape off all that plaster and I believe there is a pretty face underneath. But we’ll never find out. Rating: “B+”.
2) Boobage: Yahoo, proper sized aureoles tipped by firm nipples are the hallmark plusses. I honestly believe her boobs haven’t seen the sharp edge of a scalpel. They appear to be real and very symmetrical. Unless one makes a very close inspection for minor irregularities it’s hard to fault these chest puppies. Rating: “A+”.
3) Torso: Very nice. Slim, yet enticing. A perfect pillow to rest one’s weary head after a long copulatory session. Rating: “A”.
4) Legs: Despite DDP’s fretting I don’t see these legs as more than mediocre. I believe it’s the photo manipulation that’s caused them to appear kinda lifeless. Yea, they are shaped well but they don’t pique my interest. I guess my previous orgasm inducing image of DDP’s perfect legs has blurred my ocular sensory. In any case we’ll toss them a bone, so to speak and thus the Rating: “B+”.
Toejam’s overall rating: “A”.
Yup, she does have appeal, but hardly the kind that would make me stray from my true love, DDP. I’m checking the net right now DDP for a cheap flight to Malibu. It’s currently 25 degrees F. here in North Carolina and I’m in need of your sensuous body warmth to get my body thawed out. When I’m sufficiently warmed up and “up” we can light a couple of those Thai Buddhist Jasmine sticks, sip a glass of fine 2005 Beck Burgenland Pinot Noir and do the horizontal tango to the soft muted: Rodrigo’s famous Concierto de Aranjuez for guitar. Here’s an excellent example to get you in the “mmod” for love my dear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6NcN4pueMc
Till tomorrow I’ll ache and pine for your sweet scent and loving arms, DDP!
Where is Alpha-Delta? I gotta go there! She is yummy!!!
Forget the Alpha-Delta visit, Roger.
Go to an Optometrist ASAP instead, cause you need glasses desperately!
CAMEL TOE….. YEAH!!
That’s why they call me “Toejam”.
Cause I spend most of my time between the lady’s camel toe!
Those appear to be Mentor brand round breast implants. Suprapectoral insertion. Now I can say with certainty, Toejam has never actually seen a female breast.
C’mon, TJ, you need new glasses. Those are a couple of the most obvious bolt-ons I’ve seen in awhile.
Well, TJ’s right on about the lady’s face. Without the thick, thick plastering of paint, she’s likely quite pretty. I don’t find the faux-sweater puppies to be all that attractive though.
Walking Viagra that girl is