Heironymus sent this to me. It came from the Onion. Thanks to all my readers who let me know.
CHICAGO—The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of murders on Friday morning and will likely continue to push numerous homicides across the city drastically behind schedule, public authorities announced. “As we speak, maintenance crews are working diligently to restore public transportation, de-ice roads, and clear back alleyways so that Chicagoans can quickly resume murdering again,” Department of Streets and Sanitation spokesman Dave Michelson said of the heavy blizzard, which caused numerous homicide cancellations this morning at peak murder times. “Unfortunately, we’re backed up by about 35 deadly shootings at the moment, but we hope to restore regular death tolls as soon as possible. We apologize to anyone forced to postpone shootings or other killings today and assure concerned murderers that they will be able to resume slayings by the early afternoon.” At press time, authorities reported that murders were up and running in many parts of the city, with four teenagers already gunned down on Chicago ’s South Side.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant! I wish I had written that.
And let us not forget, Chicago’s South Side is mainly black. And as far as the Black Lives Matter crowd goes, just remember that the only black lives that matter are the ones taken by white people. Blacks gunning down other blacks is quite OK. You never see them protesting against that and they don’t advocate cooperating with the cops when that happens. “Snitches get stitches.” To put things in prospective, more blacks are killed by other blacks in a week in cities like Chicago and St. Louis than are killed by white cops in the rest of the country in a year.
Black Lives Matter. What a crock!
I thought so – the Onion!
http://www.theonion.com/articles/snowstorm-in-chicago-delays-hundreds-of-morning-mu,31410/
Myself and two friends were stupidly driving on the south side once trying to find a motel that one of us was staying at. I think it was called McKinley St. That is where I finally understood what boys in the hood meant. It took a while but we finally figured out we were not where we should have been. Probably good it was only about 5 degrees out because three white boys might have had some trouble. On the plane ride out the next day I asked the woman seated next to me what was the worst place to go in Chicago and she named the street we were on.
So, Denny, do union rules require that the hoodlums get overtime if they have to work extra hard to make up for fallin’ behind?
Google
“Sanitation spokesman Dave Michelson”
Lots of hits, the onion is the first on the list
Actually, it’s the west side of Chicago where most of the savage niggers kill each other, since that’s where most of the public housing is located, right around the United Center, where the Chicago Blackhawks and Bulls play. I remember the owners of the UC after building it wanted to turn the area into a shopping, restaurant, and entertainment mecca, until someone pointed out that whites would be putting their lives on the line if they went there among the uncaged animals.