So in this morning’s Atlanta Urinal and Constipation there was an article that said that NOAA said that we just experienced the warmest January ever. Meanwhile, the Great Lakes have record ice. Poor AlphaDelta is dreaming of summer and getting his boat in the water so he sent me a picture of his dream coxswain.
As I told AD, she can swain my cock anytime she wants to.
Best flotation devices I’ve ever seen on a boat.
Yummy
Oh my goodness. What a nice harbinger of Spring & Summer we have here. And, except for the Titanic sized aureoles this lady presents the picture of quite a nice nautical Nymph. As a young man I spent quite some time at the Jersey Shore. And those wonderful Summer days were filled with fantastic female bodies parading around beaches from Asbury Park down through Belmar and ending at Seaside Heights. Those women knew what us horny guys wanted and it wasn’t just “5” 8-ounce glasses of Budweiser for $1. It was the “Flesh Highway” passing through the “Twin Peaks” and ending in the Sopping wet “Tunnel of Love” that was on our Testosterone drenched brains. Ah those mammeries and memories!
OK, I gotta get to doing my taxes today so let’s get down to the job at hand.
1) Face: Love that salt-water tousled reddish hair. Yea, it can’t be 1960’s Play Boy model coifed. She out in the sun and water. Too bad those glasses cover her eyes. I bet they say: “Bang me on the quarter-deck now big-boy and I’ll swallow your throttle”. Yup, I see the handy work of Dr. Fienkelstein in those pearly white chompers too. No, not the plastic surgeon, but his younger brother the cosmetic dentist. As a side note the good Doctor has another brother who is a savage Hollywood lawyer too. So if anyone is living in the area and needs a great attorney call: (800) KIK-BUTT. Yea, I get a small compensation for each call, but I really do it for the satisfaction of knowing the caller will get great legal representation and a discount for dental and plastic surgery work. Win-win-win! And finally the highlight of this lady’s lovely mandible. Perfect saddle shape for the nestling of one’s scrotum. Yes sir. Think about it. While your pocket rocket seeks the pleasures of her moist oral cavity and lashing lingual muscle, your twin (unless you’re Lance Armstrong) sperm factories will rest comfortably on her chin. Rating: “A+”.
Boobage: Is that bikini top positioned to be sexy or is it firming up some pendulous pots of porridge? Your call, but I believe her boobs would fare better and point to the sky if Dr. Fienkelstein lopped about 3 inches off those aureoles. Having said that, they are Mother Nature’s creation. They possess far too many flaws to be the work of any human’s hands. I’ll rest my case and give her a decent grade. Rating: “A-“.
3) Arms & torso: The usual fine toned and in this case tanned female form. A great testimony to her spa and personal trainer. Rating: “A”.
4) Thighs: Aha, along with the quaking of my rigid penile member my orbital retinas are spasming as the image of her fantastic, full and finely formed femoral quadrecept package wrapped in perfect dermal matter strikes them. Yee haw. Next to DDP’s upper gams these are the finest specimen of leg flesh I’ve seen since I was 8 years old and use to peek in my neighbor’s bedroom window as 48 year old, Mrs. Gladys Allen pulled off her petticoat at bedtime. But that’s another story for another Saturday. Rating: “A++++”. Just one + shy of my darling DDP.
Toejam’s overall rating: “A++”. (The awful aureoles robbed her of another +).
So now we all wish we could be in that speed-boat with this lovely young figure of fine fornication. Well, maybe except for the 10% who are deemed “cupcakes” by their sexual orientation. To each his own I say. But I bet one over-night session with Miss Motorboat might change the mind of the most avid member of that community.
And now an announcement of dire consequences. I know DDP is cheating on me. I don’t have proof but her absence of soothing messages make me believe she’s currently snuggling in the arms of another. What a sad day yesterday was. First, the former mayor of NYC Giuiliani tells the nation that President Obama doesn’t love America (like I didn’t already know that) but I find my life’s love is fading away. The only thing of value I have left to fall back on is my life-size, anatomically correct inflatable doll designed with a 50 horse-power vibrating vagina. It’s a good thing I poured a double amount of Bourbon on my Cornflake this morning………. Oh woe is me!
TJ,
I used to hang out at Seaside, Toms River and Point Pleasant when I was a kid. Use to love the boardwalk. Then when old enough to drive in high school, used to go to Long Beach State park. As nasty and liberal laiden as Jersey is, they had/have some beautiful beaches.
Rayvet,
I think our parallel Jersey Shore universes were in different time frames.
Mine 1960 thru 1975.
Only went to Long Beach State Park once back in 1961. Got the shit burned out of my legs and it took me a week in bed to recover. That was before Liberals existed.
Awww Toejam….we just keep missing each other. You know I’ve been on the road again which makes internet service hit and miss. I’m still here for you. Always faithful…
~XxxOoo
If only I could believe you DDP. I still pine for your gentle caresses. Down my back and up my leg. Yeow, I think I’m getting a hardon! 🙂
OH MY GOD
Yeah….I’d motorboat that…..