Wow! John Williams and Julian Bream.

Is Claudia gonna get out her sheet music and play along?

First of many sent to me by Roman.

Two uninformed voters were going to Disneyland.

They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.

They started crying… and turned around and went home.

Just because I like to piss off Toejam here’s a pic AlphaDelta sent me of a blonde and a nice car. (more…)

George sent me the link to this story.

Army ROTC cadets are complaining on message boards that they were pressured to walk in high heels on Monday for an Arizona State University campus event designed to raise awareness of sexual violence against women.

The Army openly encouraged participating in April’s “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” events in 2014, but now it appears as though ROTC candidates at ASU were faced with a volunteer event that became mandatory.

“Attendance is mandatory and if we miss it we get a negative counseling and a ‘does not support the battalion sharp/EO mission’ on our CDT OER for getting the branch we want. So I just spent $16 on a pair of high heels that I have to spray paint red later on only to throw them in the trash after about 300 of us embarrass the U.S. Army tomorrow,” one anonymous cadet wrote on the social media sharing website Imgr, IJReview reported Monday.

What the flying fuck? JHFC! What is wrong with these people? The purpose of the military is to kill people and break things not to be sensitive about women. Yannow what would stop violence against women. Keeping them away from warriors. Do I sound sexist? You bet. We have people trying to turn the military into a bunch of pussies. They’re assholes! They win the award.

Toejam sent me this one.

Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman were out for a stroll in town one day.
As they walked, they came across a sign:

“Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I am entering” said Snow White.

After half an hour she came out and they asked her, “Well, how did you do?”

“First Place, of course,” said Snow White.

They continued walking and they saw a sign:

“Contest for the strongest man in the world.”

“I’m entering and you can count on me taking first place,” said Superman.

After half an hour he returned and they asked him, “How did you make out?”

“First Place,” answered Superman. “Did you ever doubt?”

They continued walking when they saw a sign:

“Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?”

Pinocchio said: “No sweat, it’s in the bag. This is mine.”

Half an hour later, he returned sobbing with tears in his eyes.

“What the heck happened?” they asked.

“Who the hell is Hillary Clinton?” asked Pinocchio.

Thunder Rodent Thighs cannot open her mouth without telling a lie and she lies about the most insignificant things like when she said she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary. When she was born, Edmund Hillary was still an unknown beekeeper in New Zealand. Or when she landed under fire in Bosnia. Or that she wanted to join the Marines but she was too near-sighted She is totally incapable of telling the truth about anything. She belongs in jail for all the perjury she has committed over the years. The same goes for her hubby, the Hick from Hope. They’re both pathological liars. They’re both sociopaths. They’re both crooks. They’re both traitors. They’re both dooshbags. Any woman who thinks Cankles is a feminist and cares about women needs to have her head examined. She enabled her husband’s sexual harassment and tried to destroy any woman who came forward about being Sexually harassed by BJ. I dated a woman who was an Irish Catholic and thought Floater Kennedy was a great man. She’ll prolly vote for the PIAP. I know she voted for Obungler twice. Liberalism really is a mental disease.

Now that Thunder Rodent Thighs has officially entered the race, in the spirit of Earth Day Lenin’s Birthday and recycling, here’s a recycled Clintoon joke from way back when sent to me by my friend Pres.

BJ started jogging near his home in Chappaqua. Yeah, I know. I doubt if the Hick freom Hope jogs anymore but it’s a joke so bear with me here. On
each run, he happens to jog by a hooker standing on the same street corner day after day. With some apprehension he would brace himself for what was ceretainly to follow.

“Fifty Dollars!”, she would cry out from the curb.

“No! Five dollars!”, fired back BJ. We all know what a cheapskate BJ is with his own money. Other people’s money? That’s different. He would gladly nail this whore if someone else would pay for it.

This went on for days. He would jog by and she would yell, “Fifty Dollars!”

He would yell back, “Five dollars!”

One day however, Thunder Rodent Thighs decided she wanted to join him. Once again, this is a joke. I would say visualize Cankles in jogging shorts but I don’t want you to hurl all over your keyboard.

As the jogging Cintoons approached the street corner where the whore hung out, BJ realized that the “pro” would yell out, “Fifty dollars!” and TRT would wonder what he would really be doing on these runs every day. He figgered he should have come up with an explanation to give to the PIAP accompanying him. The closer he got, the more apprehensive he became. Sure enough, there was the hooker. He tried to avoid her eyes as the two went lumbering past with the grace of a couple of elephants.

Then, from the sidewalk, the prostitute yealled, “See what you get for Five bucks?”

Ron has come up with a simple Twelve Step “D’ Program to get this country back on track. Here it is:

Dismantle Obamunism

Discard Holderism

Deconstruct Jacksonism

Demolish Sharptonism

Decertify Liberalism

Deport Alienism

Decertify Race-cardism

Derail Environmentalism

Defund Governmentism

Defy Socialism

Deny Political Correctism

Decimate Islamism

And then he continues:

Of course I’ve been around long enough to know that it ain’t gonna happen that way, at least not without some violence and probably a substantial change in the type of government that would result.

Another thing I’m confident of is that even if we manage to get a conservative in the White House with a slightly right-of-center Congress, the world will continue to disintegrate because of the damage done by the Soetoro Keystone Kops. AND, since the collapse will continue and the bills will come due during the next administration, whoever follows the Kenyan Klown will get the blame, ’cause if the Left is good at anything, it’s shifting blame to somebody else.

In other words, we’re doomed! As my junior high school Civics teacher taught, communism takes two steps forward and one step back. Yes, at one time we had teachers who weren’t rat bastard commies and we had schools that weren’t socialist indoctrination centers. When I went to school there was a flag in every classroom and we said the Pledge of Allegiance every morning. There was a dress code. There was also some minor corporal punishment. And, if a student went home complaining about some such punishment being meted out the parents didn’t threaten to sue the school or the teacher who administered said punishment. If the student did complain, the student would have gotten in even more trouble at home. At least that’s the way it went with my parents and the parents of all of my friends. Times sure have changed. And not for the better. I never thought I would see a racist foreigner as president and a population dumb enough to put him there.

Ron sent me this.

And I know at least four of them. Prolly a few more. People voted for Obungler because he was black. People will vote for Thunder Rodent Thighs because she has a vagina. Ain’t identity politics wonderful?

Yesterday was Earth Day Lenin’s Birthday? Damn! I missed it. Had I known I would have cranked my A/C down to 68 degrees and turned on all of my lights and every electrical appliance in my house.

When I say this story I laughed my ass off.

A tree dedicated to the memory of Michael Brown has been destroyed by vandals just hours after being planted.

A tree dedicated to a worthless thug? JHFC! What is wrong with these people?

The sapling was planted in January-Wabash Park in Ferguson, Missouri on Saturday as a dedication to the teenager, who was gunned down in the street by a police officer last August.

At least they didn’t say “unarmed 18 year old black dude” like all of the American media does.

It was called ‘a symbol of peace, comfort and hope for all who gather around its branches’ at a small ceremony led by the Black Caucus of the American Library Association, which donated the tree.

GMAFB! Have you guys seen the video of St. Michael of Swisher Sweets pushing around that convenience store clerk when he stole a box of Swisher Sweets? Like he is for peace and love. He was a thug and was eventually headed for the slammer or death by the hands of another black thug. The world is a better place without him.

But by Sunday morning, the branches had been stripped, leaving behind just a shard of the trunk.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Before.

I hope a dog peed on it.

After.

The metal dedication plaque at the base of the tree had also been removed. It had read: ‘In Memory of Michael Brown Jr Dedicated Tree 04/15.’
‘I can’t understand why someone would want to cut down the tree,’ one man in the park told KMOV. ‘What, they want to start something back up again?’

No. They prolly wanted to show what they think of you canonizing a worthless piece of human detritus. St. Michael of Swisher Sweets was a common street thug. Planting a tree in his name is ludicrous. I’m glad someone cut it down. Get on with your lives and get over this bullshit event.

Update: I read yesterday that Starbucks to further prove how much it values race relations is opening a Starbucks in Ferguson. Just how long do you think that store will stay in business? Maybe if they take EBT cards. I am always amazed at how so many stupid liberals are able to make so much money. It just blows my mind. Just wait until they have to close it due to lack of business or until it gets burned down to another protest. Then the RWPPs Like Al Tawana Brawley Crown Heights Riots Freddie’s Fashion Mart Arson Sharpton and Jesse Hymietown Jackson will crawl out from under their rocks bemoaning about how poor black people can’t get a decent cup of coffee. The smart retailers have pulled up stakes and got out of Ferguson. Starbucks won’t be there very long.