I lost the picture I was gonna post today so instead, I’m gonna make it a double that Randy sent me and I’m posting it in honor of Memorial Day and the official start of summer. These girls also have the correct A to B ratio and that will piss off Toejam but make the rest of us males who appreciate real women happy.
Click on image to enlarge.
If you look long enough, you may be able to see some water in the background.
Every time I see that caption, “Click on image to enlarge”, I can’t help thinking, if they were any larger, the poor girls would never be able to stand up.
Maybe that’s not what is referenced as enlarging?
Four breasts….two hands. It’s so unfair.
I guess that’s God’s way of telling us to play with only one woman at a time.
Ah, real women. Thank you.
I’m back to paraphrase the General who was actually known as “Dugout Doug” to all U.S. Marines at Guadalcanal. Yup he was quite a unique character who had an ego the size of Hillary Clinton’s ass and the Chutzpah of a Saphardic yenta. Actually, my middle name id Douglas and yes for some reason I was named after the General.
Anyway, my 2-week hiatus was the result of a smoked motherboard in my 9 year old HP laptop. Fortunately, I got a replacement quite inexpensively. I drove up to Baltimore and bought a replacement on the street from some dude who said it wasn’t a genuine HP motherboard, but it would suffice. He kept referring to it as a mother-fucking-board but I wasn’t about to argue since his brothers were beginning to gather. Whoa, I didn’t know anybody could have 55 brothers. Anyway I shelled out 75 bucks, grabbed the mother and scooted out of the Ville. My friend installed it this past week and it works like a charm. The graphics have improved and even these bloated boob, monster aureole sisters don’t look too bad.
OK, I’m a bit rusty after a fortnight layoff but I’ll try my professional best to get back on board and present an expert appraisal.
LADY #1…(on the left):
1) FACE: Faux blonde, but that’s ok. Even bottle blonde is an improvement over a black-hair skank. I’d think her over-made up face is far too theatrical to rate highly. She sports enough mascara and pancake makeup to cover the female and transgender faces of the population of Indonesia. Rating: “C+”.
2) BOOBAGE: Boobs? Probably enhanced by the insertion of silicon, but the shadow in the photo hides her true boobage and aureole size from view. I’m a bit hesitant to rate them but at a second glance I decided to give it a professional try. Rating: “B-“.
3) ARMS: Not bad. Not bad at all. If they’re any indication of her overall body tone I approve. Lean, smooth and clear of any blemishes. Rating: “A-“.
Toejam overall rating for lady #1: “B”.
LADY #2…(on the right):
1) FACE: Dark locks, but a much more natural structure of the nasal, oral, mental, orbital, infraorbital, buccal, parotid, and zygomatic areas. In fact, she is very pretty despite the ebony black foliage on her dome. Rating: “A”.
2) BOOBAGE: I get a much clearer picture of her mammary display. In fact and despite their over-the-top size I think they might even be natural. Her aureoles could be slightly smaller, but at their current size they fit quite well on the ends of her luscious breasts. Rating: “A-“.
3) THIGHS: My forte and lust generator are the lower appendages of any pretty lady. Her’s look firm, smooth and well defined. An indication of her lasting dedication to medium impact aerobics. If I could get a closer look I’d examine her display of follicle foliage, aka: hair. Black hair women tend to have an over abundance of this material, which lowers their overall dermal qualities. I’ve done some research and found, despite the common belief that human body hair was originally much more abundant to protect against cold body hair acts a “wicks” to disperse the aroma of the pheromones. This is important in attracting the attention of a potential sex partner. An olfactory neon-sign in fact. That’s just a scientific side-note. Rating: “A+”.
Toejam’s overall rating: “A”.
Nice job Denny. Today’s ladies are very acceptable. As a matter of fact they’d attract a very high price on the White Slavery” market.
During the past two weeks I’ve been cyber-deprived so I thought I’d take a trip to Malibu to see my forever lust-love DDP. I got as far as Sacramento and was told by the hotel manager that the current drought made taking a shower very difficult so I’d have to just jump into the nearby river and ignore the dozens of California white fish floating on the surface. I politely declined, did a 180 and headed back to my abode in the lush, green mountains of Western North Carolina.
So now I spend this Memorial Day weekend alone thanks to Jerry (rainbow) Brown’s inept, liberal, shit-headed governance of the state. May it fall into the Pacific, ASAP.
Finally, I’m going to a Memorial Day observance on the 25th and will reflect on what really matters. It’s not beer, hamburgers and swimming. It’s all those individuals who fought and died for my country. I suggest you all follow suit and forego the banal festivities. This coming Monday is a day of reflection and remembrance.
My bet is he was really headed to California to find Bruce Jenner. After his fixation of three weeks ago, I thought we might never get him back.
I was afraid that next years reality series was gonna be TJ and BJ instead of the Kardassians. Had that happened, I would have chucked the old boobtube in the lake instead of merely ignoring it.
Jeremy,
Sad to say but next year’s reality show is going to be Hillary in the White House so chain your ankle to the “old boobtube” then chuck it in the lake.
That could well be true with the Stupid Party giving us McRINO in 2008 and Mittens in 2012, the only Republican who could not run against Obummercare and who allowed himself to be rolled in the 2nd debate by that fat tub of lard Candy Crowley. They’re gonna try to force Jeb Bush down our throats and the country doesn’t want another Bush. Two were plenty. And as you well know, bushes are now out of fashion.
“bushes are now out of fashion”
I see what you did there. Time to invest in wax and razors.
That wouldn’t be a reality show, that would be a horror movie. Throw in Bill, and it’s a whore movie.
That’s a Pete sandwich just waiting for the Pete to be added
Me Tarzan. You horny?
Dogs Don’t Purr (DDP):
We know the real reason Toejam was off the grid for the past two weeks: you wore his ass out.
May I remind you Toe is no spring chicken anymore, and you are going to have to reel in your feminine wiles in the presence of this fragile example of the male of the species. I suspect you worked him over like Cassius Clay worked over Sonny Liston, and his infirmary was the sordid result. I suspect the blood in his head that contains brain cells drains out of him in your presence (while the one without them engorges), so between the two of you, its apparent you are the one we have to count on to maintain unit discipline. Easy does it.
You’re on to me dude.
DDP did a number on my plumbing and I’m currently taking mucho pain killers.
But I’ll bounce back and my prostate will perform like a well oiled 60 horse power chainsaw next round!
@Southpaw~
It is true, I wear him out. That’s why we just can’t be together all the time. I don’t want to kill the man! However, I was a bit miffed that he missed my birthday this weekend. I would have been gentle!
~XxxOoo