Bill Quick has a modest proposal.

Excellent idea, you moron. Let’s extend it. Let every lily-white college applicant designate themselves black, and then take advantage of whatever affirmative action acceptance/financial benefits are available for black applicants/students. You say that “real” blacks would then be squeezed out of the benefits designated for those of their skin color? Don’t be ridiculous. We all now know that skin color and ethnicity are merely a matter of choice. Calling oneself black means that one is black, and just as “real” as you yourself are.

Same for affirmative action goodies in employment, housing, and all the rest. You’re down with that, right? (“Down with that” is a black turn of phrase originally, but I can use it because I’m as black as I want to be now. Oh, and I’m also officially able to use the term “nigger” for the same reason…)

That’s not what you meant? Why ever not?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So when I call someone a nigger I’m channeling my inner blackness. What a great excuse!

This in response to an opinion piece written by Lew Alcindor (his name before he drank the Kool-aid and became a Mooslime)

OMFG! Gag me with a freakin’ spoon! Rachel Dolazel has made a sex tape. As a public service to me dear readers, if any of you find this tape on the internet, please do not send it to me. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl. I did hear that they are gonna furnish that tape to emergency rooms around the country to treat Viagra users who get erections longer than four hours. They’re found that it is more effective than nude pictures of Thunder Rodent Thighs.