This one is from Toejam.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and announced: “Who owns the big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said: “I do, partner….why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said: “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is just about dead!!”
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got his horse water and soon Silver started to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said: “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”
Tonto replied: “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his beer.
A few minutes later, another cowboy strolled into the bar and asked: “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stood up again, and claimed: “I do, what’s wrong with him this time?”
“Nothing, but you left your injun runnin!!”
Good One !!!!! I like it, LMAO !!!
As long as the injun doesn’t overheat.
Nice…
Damn Denny! I got my morning coffee going through my nose! Thanks for the much needed morning pick me up humor
Another bad Lone Ranger pun …
Some bad guys captured the Lone Ranger, have him naked on the ground, and are about to shoot him. “Do you have any last wishes??”, one of them asks.
“Bring my horse, Silver, over here.”, the Long Ranger replies.
They grant his wish and over comes Silver. The Lone Ranger whispers for a moment into Silver’s ear. Then Silver disappears over the horizon like lightning. He returns in just a few minutes with a big, beautiful woman in the saddle. She hops off Silver, strips naked and in short order she and the Long Ranger enjoy themselves to the utmost, much to the delight of the bad guys.
When they’ve finished, another bad guy says, “That looked like good fun. Do you have any other last wishes??”
“Yes ..bring my horse, Silver, over here one more time.”, the Long Ranger replies.
Silver approaches, and the Long Ranger whispers into his ear, “You idiot! I said bring POSSE!”
Here is another Moldy Old Ranger Tonto pun.
The Lone Ranger & Tonto were riding thru Apache country & the Lone Ranger was talking with Tonto about their inseparable longtime friendship & how many times that bond of friendship have saved each other so many times.
Suddenly Tonto raises his hand to stop & says Kemosabe! smoke signals to the left , then Kemosabe! smoke signals to the right & behind us! then looking ahead sees a huge cloud of dust on the horizen jumps off his horse , puts his ear to the ground & says Kemosabe! Many Many Indians on Horses coming towards us very fast, looks very bad!
The Lone Ranger says well Tonto, We are great friends, We can depend on each other for support & We just like always will meet the challenge together! Tonto looks up up at the approaching hoard of Apache Warriors then turns to look at The Lone Ranger says…..”What do you mean we White Man?”
Speaking of Jay Silverheels “Tonto`s real name” back in the 1970`s I was at the Meadowlands Harness racing Track south of Pittsburgh …..Jay Silverheels was a featured harness racer driving a “Sulky “. He also owned several horses & was active for a period of time in the Racing circuit as a driver, owner & breeder until he suffered a stroke.
Claudia will probably chime in about him as he was not an American Indian, he was born on the Six Nation`s Indian Reserve near Brantford Ontario Canada.
What happens when you leave Linda Lovelace in the back seat of a car with Tonto?
You get a blown Injun.
Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding across the prairie. Then Tonto got down from his horse and put his ear to the ground. He looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “Buffalo come.”
The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, “Wow, that’s amazing! How did you figure that out?”
Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “Ear sticky!”
Tonto and the Lone Ranger were out in the desert and the Lone Ranger stopped to pee. In the process, a rattlesnake bit him in the penis. He told Tonto, ride to town and ask the doctor what to do. Tonto rode to town and the doctor said you need to ride back and suck the poison out or he will die. Tonto rides back as fast as he can. The Lone Ranger asks, what did the doctor say? Tonto replies, Doctor say you going to die.
So much fun to read you all, friends. You’re great! And thank you, dudley1, for giving back to our First Nations the hero they own. It’s more than Canada will ever do for them!
Just a little bit of movie trivia. In the original John Wayne version of True Grit, there is a triple hanging early in the movie. One of the prisoners being hanged is Jay Silverheels. As I recall, he was the prisoner in the middle of the three.
Rusty