Ron sent me this one. It’s been floating around the intertubes for quite some time. Supposedly it was in a Waco newspaper. Update: According to this link it was written by a man. Thanks to DaveH in comments.

Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol or smoke, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good.”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self-esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self-esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.

BRAVO!

I’ve been saying for years that I could reduce a large portion of the poverty in this country within two generations. Every woman going on welfare gets a tubal ligation. No ifs, ands, or buts. You have shown that you are incapable of supporting the children you have. Why should you have more for me to support? There was a woman in Macon with fourteen kids and when they had a glitch in the Food Stamp program and she couldn’t get her money she had the nerve to say, “Someone needs to take responsibility for this!” Yep! Find a mirror.

What about the men? I have a plan for them. If you have fathered children that you are incapable of supporting, you get a vasectomy. You are incapable of supporting the children you have fathered. Why should you father more that you won’t be able to support? We have no business subsidizing irresponsibility which is exactly what our social welfare system does. There’s not enough money for Social Security, a system we have paid into, but there is always money for welfare, Food Stamps, and subsidized housing.

This country is going broke. We walked on the moon. Then we decided to return to earth and fight a winless war on poverty. $20 trillion later and we still have poverty, except now our poor live better than the majority of the people on this planet.