Red head? More like Henna Head. I suspect her hair has undergone the transformation from drinking lots of Flint, Michigan tap water and she should be pissing enough lead to keep Winchester Arms in a sufficient supply of Plumbum to make a couple million bullets.
Surprisingly she doesn’t have the usual patented porn star look. But that can be deceiving. Today even the hottest of 3-hole honeys can look like a novice Catholic nun raised in the mountains of County Donegal.
OK, it’s time to get hopping and do the deed. Sadly the analysis can’t be complete since the lady’s lower appendages are not on view.
1) FACE: Despite the bottle blend color of her hair she presents a wholesome, fresh almost virginal look. Of course we all know that’s an allusion to appeal to pedophiles. If she comes across as an innocent high school freshman the average crusty 60 year old pervert will empty wallet made of kangaroo scrotum of all the $100 bills. Perfect skin, alluring brown eyes, magnificent nose and finely sculpted lips make for a woman who you’d be proud to take to the Academy Awards. And. since she’s lily white, she’d be welcomed with open arms by the racist, white privileged rich Hollywood elite. Rating: “A+++”.
2) BOOBAGE: Looks like that Lead from the Flint fountain of fishing line sinkers has settled to the bottom of those otherwise very nice bazungas. A little trip to Dr. Finkelstein would cure that. Drain the lead, tighten the pectoral muscles and take a bit off the aureoles. Then perfection. Rating: “A++”.
Toejam overall rating: “A++”.
Did you hear that O.J. Simpson’s anger management problems have been the result of undiagnosed concussions he received during his football career? Yup, even though he was not convicted (but we all knew he did it, right Spike Lee?) of the brutal slashing deaths of his wife and her toy-boy due to a glove mismatch the Main-Stream-Media has come out with another case where they’re blaming football for all the abhorrent behavior of everyone who played the game or just paid an outrageous price to sit and watch. The destructive media machine rolls on and is about to crush another all American activity. The trouble is 80% of the population is either complicit in this Liberal onslaught or will stand by grasping their Starbuck’s Latte and do nothing to save an All-American sport.
I got to get out now most of the snow’s melted and stalk some babes at the local mall. That’ll alieve my anxiety caused by the further erosion of real old fashioned American principles.
Toe, at my clinic I have 12 employees. All females. We are very, let’s say, open about stuff here. The past few months I’ve been letting them read your boobage critiques. They laugh their assess off (as do I) at your ability to be so descriptive. I’m telling you that because you’re now on the hook in perpetuity to provide these weekly analysis for my employees (to boost morale of course) or until I retire. Whichever comes first.
I’m gonna’ assume that you meant well by your “lesson and reminder” comment.
I have had but 2 redheads in my past and every time I see a picture of a pretty one I am reminded of a time, long long ago.
Back when I was a mere lad of 19 I was being schooled in the fine art of “the horizontal bop” by a lovely “older woman”, redhead, of mid-20’s vintage. The image of the rising sun over the Ocean coming into my Cocoa Beach window and striking that flaming red bush has been forever seared in my brain. The lessons learned there were memorable.
However, my second redhead was forgettable.
I went out with a “real” redhead for a while. I was kinda amused when I got down to “facts” and swore I was looking directly at Willie Nelson who had dyed his beard red.
Tried to marry one, but she showed her true colors and split after I refused to put up with the bullshit. Ended up marrying another redhead. Biggest mistake of my life.
Not being the sharpest knife in the drawer, I got married for the last time, but I tamed the meanest woman on the planet.
*sigh* That’s lovely Czech model Gabriela Lupínková, who usually models under the name Ariel.
Yes, they’re real.
Even if they were fake, if they were in your face, they’d be real.
Is she old enough for us to be looking at???
Born June of 1984.
Looks candy coated.
“Is she old enough for us to be looking at???”
In dog years, yes.
Is there an echo in here
Pretty face, perfect natural breast.
Red head? More like Henna Head. I suspect her hair has undergone the transformation from drinking lots of Flint, Michigan tap water and she should be pissing enough lead to keep Winchester Arms in a sufficient supply of Plumbum to make a couple million bullets.
Surprisingly she doesn’t have the usual patented porn star look. But that can be deceiving. Today even the hottest of 3-hole honeys can look like a novice Catholic nun raised in the mountains of County Donegal.
OK, it’s time to get hopping and do the deed. Sadly the analysis can’t be complete since the lady’s lower appendages are not on view.
1) FACE: Despite the bottle blend color of her hair she presents a wholesome, fresh almost virginal look. Of course we all know that’s an allusion to appeal to pedophiles. If she comes across as an innocent high school freshman the average crusty 60 year old pervert will empty wallet made of kangaroo scrotum of all the $100 bills. Perfect skin, alluring brown eyes, magnificent nose and finely sculpted lips make for a woman who you’d be proud to take to the Academy Awards. And. since she’s lily white, she’d be welcomed with open arms by the racist, white privileged rich Hollywood elite. Rating: “A+++”.
2) BOOBAGE: Looks like that Lead from the Flint fountain of fishing line sinkers has settled to the bottom of those otherwise very nice bazungas. A little trip to Dr. Finkelstein would cure that. Drain the lead, tighten the pectoral muscles and take a bit off the aureoles. Then perfection. Rating: “A++”.
Toejam overall rating: “A++”.
Did you hear that O.J. Simpson’s anger management problems have been the result of undiagnosed concussions he received during his football career? Yup, even though he was not convicted (but we all knew he did it, right Spike Lee?) of the brutal slashing deaths of his wife and her toy-boy due to a glove mismatch the Main-Stream-Media has come out with another case where they’re blaming football for all the abhorrent behavior of everyone who played the game or just paid an outrageous price to sit and watch. The destructive media machine rolls on and is about to crush another all American activity. The trouble is 80% of the population is either complicit in this Liberal onslaught or will stand by grasping their Starbuck’s Latte and do nothing to save an All-American sport.
I got to get out now most of the snow’s melted and stalk some babes at the local mall. That’ll alieve my anxiety caused by the further erosion of real old fashioned American principles.
Toe, at my clinic I have 12 employees. All females. We are very, let’s say, open about stuff here. The past few months I’ve been letting them read your boobage critiques. They laugh their assess off (as do I) at your ability to be so descriptive. I’m telling you that because you’re now on the hook in perpetuity to provide these weekly analysis for my employees (to boost morale of course) or until I retire. Whichever comes first.
rayvet,
Thanks for the very welcome positive comment.
Are any of your employees and my newly acquired fans hot young women?
If so have them get in touch with me. I’m anxious to give them a “hands-on” lesson in anatomical analysis!……….FREE!
Toejam~ stop fooling around at the mall and book your plane ticket already. You are missing out. There’s nothing frigid in Malibu. Ha!
Miss you babe!
~XxxOoo
You’d fuckin’ think he’d do it by now, yannow?
Everyone should have a redhead. In their past. As lesson and reminder.
Ron in Ohio Sez:
AlphaDelta:
I’m gonna’ assume that you meant well by your “lesson and reminder” comment.
I have had but 2 redheads in my past and every time I see a picture of a pretty one I am reminded of a time, long long ago.
Back when I was a mere lad of 19 I was being schooled in the fine art of “the horizontal bop” by a lovely “older woman”, redhead, of mid-20’s vintage. The image of the rising sun over the Ocean coming into my Cocoa Beach window and striking that flaming red bush has been forever seared in my brain. The lessons learned there were memorable.
However, my second redhead was forgettable.
I went out with a “real” redhead for a while. I was kinda amused when I got down to “facts” and swore I was looking directly at Willie Nelson who had dyed his beard red.
What? Only five teeth in there?
LOL! There you go. TJ wasn’t with a true readhead.
Lovely Red – it makes me think of Valentine’s Day!
Toejam has been on edge since Denny went on vacation. He LIVES
for this.
Tried to marry one, but she showed her true colors and split after I refused to put up with the bullshit. Ended up marrying another redhead. Biggest mistake of my life.
Not being the sharpest knife in the drawer, I got married for the last time, but I tamed the meanest woman on the planet.