Black hair, artificial mammary glands and a torso that looks like well chewed bubble gum. I know this little porn number isn’t gonna make it into the top of the crop category. I had a rough week. Transporting my daughter around getting her ready for college isn’t the type of activity an 74 year old fart should be exposed to. But after Monday I can kick back and relax my way into my usual routine. Hell, I just realized a common fact that goes over the heads of most people. “I’m gonna be the last person to die in my lifetime”. Now that is some fucking achievement!
But short and sweet today.
1) FACE: Let’s start with her “lazy” left eye. Probably her Lateral & medial Rectus muscles of that orb have begun to spasm from looking at the “Johnson” that was sliding in and out between her pearly white. She better be careful, cause when her right one goes South she’ll like Ben Turpin on a good day. Onto the much touted mane. I hate black haired babes. Black hair in the cranial area indicates rough going on other parts of the anatomy. And thick, dark body hair on a babe is my next biggest turnoff after manhole sized aureoles. Nose and lips gain her points and her makeup, although being heavy, is well placed and does achieve the proper effect. Rating: “B-“.
BOOBAGE: Way bad. Even Dr. Finkelstein wouldn’t approve of the augmentation of these bulbous mounds. Tipped by large aureoles and gnarly nipples they are a sight that even the lady shouldn’t be harnessed with. On top of that her skin is far too pale to be the bathing beauty the photo suggests. Yea, there’s a slight hint of tan which outline suggests she spends some time in Sol’s rays, but I wanna see a total ochre hued epidermis. Rating: “C-“.
3) TORSO: At first glance it’s a “Bozo Bop Bag” now selling at Wal*Mart for the princely price of $16.95 +Tax. Geez, she has a wider spread than the Blimp hanger doors at the Lakehurst naval station in NJ. On top of that it appears she’s using one of her great grandmother’s shade-pull ornaments to adorn her oversized innie. Bad shit man. The only thing missing is a thick line of dark, course hair reaching from her “unseen” pubes to the bottom of the navel crater. Rating: “C-“.
Toejam’s overall rating: A reluctant, inflated in hopes of a hook-up,….”C”. Hey, it’s be kind to raven haired, silicon implanted porn star week.
Alas, today I must do a heap of laundry and clean house. Some chores I’ve neglected since my birthday a week ago. I wish my Social security and small pension would allow me to hire a cleaning lady. If I could and find a 25 year old svelte blonde, her first assignment would be to clean my pipes. I tried to get DDP to clean my place but that’s what set off the inevitable parting of ways. She told me the only things on her life-style agenda were sex, surfing and driving a 2017 Mercedes AMG GT to visit the Kardashian family.
I’m heading off now to get my work done and cruise the local park. Lots of honeys there without a lot of cloth adornment.
She’s beautiful.
The boobs are great, but would you look at that waist-to-hip ratio? Wow!
Yessir, that don’t look like a toy you could easily break.
Sweet Jebus! That young lady is extraordinary. Yum!
Google informs me that she models under the name Ana Karoline.
Black hair, artificial mammary glands and a torso that looks like well chewed bubble gum. I know this little porn number isn’t gonna make it into the top of the crop category. I had a rough week. Transporting my daughter around getting her ready for college isn’t the type of activity an 74 year old fart should be exposed to. But after Monday I can kick back and relax my way into my usual routine. Hell, I just realized a common fact that goes over the heads of most people. “I’m gonna be the last person to die in my lifetime”. Now that is some fucking achievement!
But short and sweet today.
1) FACE: Let’s start with her “lazy” left eye. Probably her Lateral & medial Rectus muscles of that orb have begun to spasm from looking at the “Johnson” that was sliding in and out between her pearly white. She better be careful, cause when her right one goes South she’ll like Ben Turpin on a good day. Onto the much touted mane. I hate black haired babes. Black hair in the cranial area indicates rough going on other parts of the anatomy. And thick, dark body hair on a babe is my next biggest turnoff after manhole sized aureoles. Nose and lips gain her points and her makeup, although being heavy, is well placed and does achieve the proper effect. Rating: “B-“.
BOOBAGE: Way bad. Even Dr. Finkelstein wouldn’t approve of the augmentation of these bulbous mounds. Tipped by large aureoles and gnarly nipples they are a sight that even the lady shouldn’t be harnessed with. On top of that her skin is far too pale to be the bathing beauty the photo suggests. Yea, there’s a slight hint of tan which outline suggests she spends some time in Sol’s rays, but I wanna see a total ochre hued epidermis. Rating: “C-“.
3) TORSO: At first glance it’s a “Bozo Bop Bag” now selling at Wal*Mart for the princely price of $16.95 +Tax. Geez, she has a wider spread than the Blimp hanger doors at the Lakehurst naval station in NJ. On top of that it appears she’s using one of her great grandmother’s shade-pull ornaments to adorn her oversized innie. Bad shit man. The only thing missing is a thick line of dark, course hair reaching from her “unseen” pubes to the bottom of the navel crater. Rating: “C-“.
Toejam’s overall rating: A reluctant, inflated in hopes of a hook-up,….”C”. Hey, it’s be kind to raven haired, silicon implanted porn star week.
Alas, today I must do a heap of laundry and clean house. Some chores I’ve neglected since my birthday a week ago. I wish my Social security and small pension would allow me to hire a cleaning lady. If I could and find a 25 year old svelte blonde, her first assignment would be to clean my pipes. I tried to get DDP to clean my place but that’s what set off the inevitable parting of ways. She told me the only things on her life-style agenda were sex, surfing and driving a 2017 Mercedes AMG GT to visit the Kardashian family.
I’m heading off now to get my work done and cruise the local park. Lots of honeys there without a lot of cloth adornment.
as usual toejam doen’t know what he is talking about, she is a Brazilian model and they are all natural 34D’s
Got a name? For scientific research.