Changes In My Life

My friend Pres sent me this email.

I used to think I was just a regular guy, but . . .

I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist. I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist. I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe. I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business. I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel. I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby. I am older than 65 and semi-retired, which makes me a useless old man. I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary. I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist. I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist. I (and most of the folks I know), acquired a fair education without student loans (it’s called work) and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of an odd underachiever. I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant.

Now, a sick old woman is calling me and my friends a basket of deplorables.

Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . because I’m just not sure who I am anymore! I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking! I just can’t imagine or understand what’s happened to me so quickly!

Funny . . . it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! As if all this crap wasn’t enough to deal with . . . I’m now afraid to go into either restroom.

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