Dear Republicans. Well, we did it. We gave you the keys to the gummint again. Please don’t fuck up like you did the last time we did that. Remember that? That was in 2000 when we elected Bush 43 and gave you control of Congress. What did you do? You went on a spending spree. To say you spent like a drunken sailor would be an insult to drunken sailors everywhere.

You passed a bloated farm bill. This was after we had weaned agriculture off a lot of the gummint subsidies but Rove told George he needed farm state votes so open up the spigots and let the money flow.

You passed a bloated transportation bill. More money out the door.

You gave us a new entitlement, Medicare Part D. The Dimocrats beat you over the head about that one even though the one they wanted was more expensive.

You gave us a new bureaucracy in the Homeland Security Department.

You busted the budget so badly Dimocrats, yes Dimocrats, were able to run as fiscal conservatives. Think of that. Dimocrats as fiscal conservatives. It boggles the mind! That’s how badly you spent money. Because of that, Dimocrats took over Congress. Then, the spending really began.

George Bush did not veto a single spending bill until the Dimocrats took over Congress.

Your mismanagement of the gummint gave us Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Obungler running the federal gummint. Way to go shitheads! Think of that now that you have the keys again. Don’t mess up this time!

Dear Donald. Congrats. Not only did you defeat Thunder Rodent Thighs, you defeated the LSM propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party, the GOPe, and the cuckservatives. Be aware that your biggest enemies are not gonna be the Dimocrats, but members of your own party like Paul Ryan and Bitch McConnell who are gonna stab you in the back every chance they get. If you can get Ryan shitcanned from Speaker, that will be a start.

The GOPe and the cuckservatives are gonna demand that you listen to their advice. Tell them to fuck off. If you had listened to them, you wouldn’t be president. They are the problem, you are the solution. I’m sure you know that.

I’m a little worried that you sounded like you are starting to waffle a little in the 60 Minutes interview. Remember what Margaret Thatcher said to Bush 41: “Don’t go wobbly on me George.” Build the wall! Repeal Obummercare. I’m OK with the pre-existing condition part of it. The Dimocrats could have passed that rather than saddle us with the rest of the Obummercare bullshit. Kids up to 26 remaining on their parents’ plans? How long are they children in this country? Judging by the spoiled brats protesting your election, a pretty long time.

You’re gonna have to work fast and keep the pressure on Congress before the RINOs like Johnny Maverick McRINO and Little Lindsey Graham talk about “reaching across the aisle” and compromising with Dimocrats. Treat them the way they treated us. The smarmy Chuck the Schmuck Schumer is gonna be every bit the asshole that Horrible Harry was. Remember, it was Horrible Harry that introduced the nuclear option. What do you want to bet that Bitch McConnell will be too much of a pussy to use it.

You have the bully pulpit, a phone, and a pen. Use them. As I saw on Twitter: Obama spent 8 years weaponizing the federal government only to turn it over to Donald Trump. It’s gonna be funny seeing the New York Slimes (Motto: All the news that’s fit to distort) writing about checks and balances in the federal gummint. All of a sudden they’re gonna discover the Constitution and limits on presidential power.

The Dimocrats wanted a strong executive who would bypass Congress. They got one in Oblunder. They created a monster. Now it’s gonna be used against them. Make them squeal like pigs!

Sincerely,

GOC