Pat S sent me this one.
A man went fishing in the Mediterranean Sea. Darkness came [or did it fall?] and he was lost. Fortunately, he had a crude GPS unit on board. The GPS showed he was about at a midway point between Baghdad and the Rock of Gibraltar.
He radioed in about his plight. The voice on the other end asked him, “can you approximate your location?”
He replied, “I’m between Iraq and a hard place.”
Sounds like the Dimocrat Party after last Tuesday. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I thought it was going to go the other way: between the rock and a hard place….
Then he took a hard a-port and ran smack dab under the 105 foot tall Colossus of Rhodes. The Island’s defenders pulled a lever releasing the Colossus’s two 800 pound testicles (Named after the Greek God of Sex:Testoclesius ) which fell 80 feet and the fisherman, who’s first name was Jack, got hit and was bowled over the side of the ship.
Thus:
After a thousand years an English sports fan read this story he invented the game of Lawn Bolls. The object of the game is to roll a three-pound round leather object called a “bowl” and hit a small white ball called a “jack” about 60 feet away.
That is called “Bowling the Jack” and the term emanated from the Colossus of Rhodes incident.
In addition a slightly altered version, “Ballin’ the Jack” was born in 1913, when a popular tune was written by Jim Burris with music by Chris Smith.
OOP’s, there’s the bell. The history class is over.
It introduced a popular dance of the same name with “Folks in Georgia’s ’bout to go insane.” It became a ragtime, pop, and traditional jazz standard, and has been recorded hundreds of times by many prominent artists.
Speaking of the dumb-as-crap party, help them leave.
http://kansasredneck.blogspot.com/2016/11/help-them-leave.html
Update: Rumors are circulating in Washington that the SNAP and food stamp programs will be offered in Canada for at least six months to ease the transition for those unfamiliar with North of the border cooking. The emergency aid though is at an impasse as Walmart is low bidder to supply the food and Canadian officials fear that the liberals will refuse to eat it and starve.
http://grouchyoldcripple.com/2004/11/help-them-leave/
was the original.