Last week when I put up my Tired post, I had other stuff going on besides not sleeping. A very close friend of mine was in the hospital. Back in January, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. It had already spread to her brain. They had started her on radiation. A few weeks ago, she had a stroke which put her in the hospital. She had improved enough two weeks ago to be sent her to a rehab center. She got there Thursday before last. Last Monday she didn’t wake up. They sent her back to the hospital and found she had had a major stroke. She went to hospice where she died on Friday. She never woke up from the last stroke. She was 65 years old. She had smoked her entire life.
Smoking doesn’t just cause lung cancer. It also causes heart disease and circulation problems, hence strokes. And for you ladies, it’s bad for the skin. Skin loses elasticity on smokers. It will age you prematurely.
I say this to all of my readers who smoke. Please quit. Don’t do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones who will get to watch you die from diseases caused by smoking. It’s not a pretty way to die. I lost one of my IBM buddies who was a very close friend to lung cancer 25 years ago. Yes. He was a heavy smoker. Now this. I’d known this woman for almost 30 years and loved her dearly. I’m crying as I write this. Maybe someday I’ll write just what this woman meant to me but it’s hard enough to write this. Smoking ain’t worth it. Quit!
Denny. I’m truly sorry for your loss.
Condolences Denny.
You’re right on that’n. It also ruins your teeth.
I smoked for 30 years, from 1955 to 1985. Then one day after I’d retired, I ran out, but my wife had the car and it was rainin. So I’m thinkin, “Jesus Christ! I gotta walk a mile and a half in the goddam rain to buy some smokes. What a bummer!”
But then I got to thinkin, who the hell’s in charge here? Me or cigarettes! So I decided to wait ’til the wife got home. This was back before cell fones, and she piddled around all friggin day and didn’t get home ’til dinnertime. So I figured ‘what d’ hell . . . I made it all day without one, I’ll just wait ’til tomorrow.’ And besides, the cost of a carton at the Exchange had just gone up to over SIX BUCKS!! That as much as anything else about it pissed me off most.
Next day I woke up and decided that since I hadn’t had a cigarette for over 24 hours, let’s just see if we can go another day.
And then it was another day.
And another.
And I quit.
People told me I’d demonstrated an enormous act of self-discipline by givin up the habit when it became clear a month or so later that I was done with it. But I looked at it a little differently: if you line up a hundred people and start ’em smokin, it’s not logical that they’ll all get hooked to exact same degree. One will be addicted the most and one will be barely addicted at all, in comparison.
Apparently I was the guy who was hooked to the slightest degree. Three months into my butt-free days, I began to find the smell of ashtrays in cars disgusting and the smell of stale smoke on people’s clothes acrid. A freshly-lit cigarette no longer smelled enticing to me, just annoying.
All our kids and some of our friends still smoked, so my wife made a new rule — the house was now a smoke-free zone. You need to light up? Go outside.
And now all our kids have quit, and none of our grandkids have picked up the habit. And . . . I figure it’s like a several-thousand-dollar-a-year tax-free pay raise not havin to buy the damned things, which now cost, what — $40 a carton?
Yeah . . . smokin’s not a good thing. If you can give it up, do so.
Canadian,so adjust pricewise. My Ol’ Lady smokes(like a steam locie on a 5 mile hill) but I told her it’s either ONE carton every payday or roll your own and I’ll buy you a tin of tobacco and rolling papers. This roll yer own works out to about almost 2 cartons. This cheaper solution is around $120. Even with the difference in US and Canajun currency, that is a LOT. :0…..and a carton of store boughts is also about $120.
I was in the ER at my local hospital Thanksgiving morning 1999, and my doctor was on duty that day. told me that he didn’t know how many more times he could pull me outta amajor lung meltdown. Smoked from 1957 to that morning in 1999. Went cold ass turkey and haven’t thought bout smoking once. (Well actually every day, but so far so good. ODAT, one day at a time) Ya just gotta frikkin do it!
My sincere condolences.
Started smoking in college in the ’80s because I worked at a bar and there was always smoke present anyway. Then I started smoking cigars in a lame effort to “quit” but realized I was inhaling them and just making it worse.
Quit cold turkey 15 years ago when my first son was born because I told myself that if I wouldn’t quit for that reason then I would never ever quit for ANY reason.
So sorry for your loss, Denny.
I lost my youngest sister to this vile disease three years ago.
I still miss her terribly.
Don’t smoke, please, readers.
Ron in Ohio Sez:
First off Denny – I am really sorry and in complete understanding for your loss of an obvious loved one. I am too afraid to have to go through your loss too.
Ya’ see, my wonderful wife of over 46 years WAS a smoker of almost 60 years, since she was a child, before a heart/circulatory/lung problem gave her a “wake-up call” after her first stent surgery. That was 7 years ago and she quit “cold turkey” I’m proud to say.
But the damage was already done and now after some additional breakthrough surgery by Drs. Vincent and Radecki here in central Ohio, she has survived a 3rd life-saving surgery.
Now, she must rely on an Oxygen Condenser here in the house and air tanks outside to have anything near “normal” lung function. All because of her life-long addiction to cigarettes.
Like most boys, I too tried cigarettes, but briefly. I didn’t and still don’t like them. But – For about 10-12 years I smoked a pipe. No inhaling they said – Safe! They said. Then I saw an old friend’s father, a life long pipe smoker, who had gotten tongue cancer and had to have part of his tongue removed. It scared the shit outta’ me and I put my pipes down and never touched them again. I still love the aroma of a good pipe tobacco though.
Anyway, I must commend bocopro and Bill Lampe on their astute comments. Those are TRUTHS that everyone must hear. I hope that in some small way I can add to those since I’ve not actually personally lived through the smoking hell but watched it from the outside.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend; I know that is incredibly hard. But you send a great message. I smoked from age 15 to age 50. Two packs a day at the end. When I started to get sick, I had the pulmonary function tests and x-rays. I had a really young doctor who said there’s something else going on here so he had a surgeon do an open lung biopsy which had to be sent to the Mayo Clinic, and I have a very rare disease called Pulmonary Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis. Only 1 in 300,000 people have this disease and it is actually a white blood cell disorder that can attack any organ. Because I was a smoker it attacked my lungs. The month I was diagnosed, I quit smoking cold turkey. I had a few uncomfortable days, but it was amazing how easy it was to quit. I was mad!!!! I guess I had a reason to quit, but it wasn’t really all that hard. No more ashtrays, no more trips to the convenience store in the middle of the night, no more burns. Now, I did gain 40 pounds, which I had to lose later, but I was done with smoking. The combination of COPD with my limited lung function has surely diminished my quality of life. I use three different inhalers during the day, and can only do limited physical things. I have to be on oxygen at night, so I can’t camp anymore. My cognitive abilities have been affected so I have had to semi-retire early from my programming job I’ve had for 20 years (IBM AS/400). I still work, but in more of a customer service capacity. Hope I don’t sound whiny, because everyone has their health issues. This one, however, may have been self-inflicted.
Very sorry for the loss of your friend….lost my father-in-law a few years back to lung cancer from smoking. He was a great guy
Denny.., quit smoking abut 4 years ago. I am glad I did. I have seen the damage first hand and the expense. Never again. I am truly sorry for your loss. And yes people quit smoking if you can. Some people are so addicted they cannot quit. I know I have seen smoke until they die. For some the addiction is that bad. So do not ever start. As for me, no more. I cannot afford it and my body thanks for not doing it.
That just hurts.
As for smoking I think bocopro put it best: Who’s in charge, here?
Sad to hear the news. My condolences.
Smoking is a terrible addiction.
It certainly is a tough business Denny. But better that you are there for support than not, even if one might wish to be anywhere else. My condolences.
My Father-in-law gave up the coffin-nails when he had 4/6ths of his lungs removed. I gave up when a sweet young secretary told me that my room stank. Recently wondered about the odd cigar, now that I am an old codger – until I saw the price!
Denny, very sorry for your loss, it is a nasty habit. I’ve lost so many loved ones to this damned smoking and without a doubt it is so hard for the ones left behind to understand the inability to quit. When I met my wife in the 80’s she looked at an ashtray in my apartment and said “This has to stop” i stopped. We argue over a lot of things but never this. It was most difficult to stay away when I had the demon rum in me, but that stuff makes it hard to stay away from many temptations. She obviously meant a lot to you on some level and I trust she knew that. Wish it didn’t play out like this.
Hey Denny;
My condolences for your loss, losing a good friend really sucks. They enrich your life while they are here and when they leave, there is a hole there in your soul and that really bites. On a different note, I never smoked, I got enough 2nd hand smoke from my parents when I was growing up to last a lifetime. For that reason I never started smoking or dipping even while I was in the service.
Condolences on your loss, with thoughts and prayers going out to all.
Your PSA was authentic and concise, as is its author. You also draw out the best in your readers. Thank you.
So sorry for the loss of your good friend Denny. I lost my grandfather and father to lung disease from smoking and dust/pesticides/etc. from farming. I was in the Navy when I got word that my granddad was dying. I went home on leave to find Dad hacking as well. I was a 3 pack a dayer myself and quit the week after granddad’s funeral. Please everyone, don’t smoke
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m glad she had you in her life. Friends make life worth living.
Never smoked, because in 1969 at almost 16 I watched my grandfather die a long, slow death from lung cancer. Twenty-four hours with no pulse in his arms and legs, and you could hear him breathing down a 100 foot corridor. Now my youngest daughter is following in his footsteps, and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it except watch.
So sorry for your lose I know how it hurts. My dad was a power smoker as was I. Choking down a pack and a half of Lucky Strike non filters and being a heavy smoker for 43 years is a power smoker. A couple times I’ve tried cold turkey and actually lasted 8 whole months once. I fired the little bastards back up and it became 2 packs a day but they were filtered as it anything got actually filtered.
Somebody gave me their Chantx because they tried them and couldn’t continue. I was resigned to the fact that I’d never be a non smoker but I tried the Chantx anyway. Damn quitting smoking was mind boggling easy because I stuck with them. You continue smoking as you take 1 pill per day and after about 3 days I found myself lighting up and immediately butting it out because I didn’t need it. I lit them up and butted them out. After just a matter of days I didn’t even know it but I was the non smoker I never expected to be. They say Chantx has all these nasty side affects but I only experience a slight bit of stomach queasiness that was like I said slight and lasted all of a minute and not every time. People experience that and they quit taking them and that’s weak and if want to quit smoking you need to take them for the 12 weeks as prescribed. People only think they’ve achieved success and stop them too soon and that’s a mistake. These things can work like a charm only if you adhere to the regimented dosage plan and duration. I haven’t fired up a smoke in 10 years now.
My sincere condolences, Denny.
Thanks for posting this.
I know it was hard.
Condolence to you and your friends family. My last cigarette was some 15 years ago when they loaded me into the ambulance. Now my chest looks like I was field dressed, from open heart surgery. My brother is/was a heavy smoker. Hes dying from throat cancer. Think before you light up my friends. Sooner or later it will catch up with you.
My sincere condolences, Denny.
Lost my sweetheart 4 years ago. She was a life long smoker also. In the 3 years prior to her death she had a heart attack and 3 strokes that put her in the ICU several times. Was told that she needed heart surgery but the cardiologist said her lungs were so shot that she’d never survive the operation.
PLEASE don’t smoke!
Denny …I understand your pain all to well , my Mother died from Lung Cancer after smoking up to 3 packs of cigarettes a day for her entire adult life. She has been gone for 25 years, she never got to meet my 4 grand children & they never got to meet & appreciate her. I miss her every day.
My Father quit & survived to 85 before he passed, mom`s mother, father, sisters, & brother, aunts & uncles all made it to their high 80`s & 90`s….. Mom did not!
As for Dudley ….I smoked a bit as a teenager into my twenties , it was the cool thing to do but strangely the last cigarette I enjoyed was the one I smoked just before Dad said I was allowed to smoke.Anyway I quit almost 55 years ago, probably one of the best things I ever did.The specter of smoking haunts me every time I visit a funeral home to pay my respects to a friend or business acquaintance who died from lung cancer ….they were all former smokers to the bitter end.
As I said I miss my mother every day, she used to call me at work several times a week just to say hello. When I left that company so did the phone, it now sits on my desk in my home office. I would give anything for it to ring & pick it up to hear her once again say”hows it going son”! Damn, just plain damn!
I have a friend who started chewing tobacco in high school back when all the big leaguers did it. He was in the hospital and started having odd problems until someone realized that he was having withdrawal symptoms from chewing tobacco.
Sorry for your loss. A few years ago I lost my best friend the same way, and my father a couple of years before that.
Smoking is truly a killer.
Thoughts and prayers for you and her family,
jack
So sorry for the loss of your friend. Cigarettes are also implicated in pancreatic cancer which has a very low survival rate; lost a dear uncle to that & a grandfather to lung cancer.
I quit around 22 years ago. I was a 3 packs a day of nf Camels. I still dream and crave a smoke but haven’t touched them since. I held my brother’s hand when he passed away from complications of copd, and my bil passed from same deal. I have lost other family and close friends from smoking. I am close to 3 people fighting lung cancer right now. A year ago I had a heart attack and had stents installed and was diagnosed with coronary artery disease.
Deeply sorry for your loss, Denny. May your dear friend rest in peace. You, her family and friends are in my heart and prayers.
I grew up, in the Thirties. It was very fashionable to smoke at that time. All the glamorous movie stars advertised cigarettes on posters. Nobody knew then that it could kill you. I never got the habit because I couldn’t inhale. As a student nurse, when I tried a cigarette, in company of my friends, everybody laughed. I never tried again. My older sister became addicted. But, in 1935, the price rose from .15 to .20 a pack. It was during the depression. A dozen eggs cost .18 in those days. Very few people had jobs. and certainly very little money for cigarettes! My sister had to quit smoking. I was 10 y.o. and I remember how hard it was for her.. But later on, in life, when we discovered that cigarettes can kill people, my sister was always grateful that the lack of money had forced her to quit. She died at 99, plus 11 months. It was wonderful to enjoy her company for so many years.
You’re doing a great service by sharing your sadness, Denny. Probably helping a lot of people with this post. Thank you!
Condolences for your loss, Denny.
As a smoker, I’ll politely remind every one of you, 100% of nonsmokers die every year.
There ain’t no getting out of here alive – Finis.
AD – It’s how you die. And it ain’t pretty. If you want to shorten your life it’s fine. I hope it’s OK with those who love you.
An absolutely horrible way to die most of the time – struggling to get a breath, or circulation so bad you can’t do anything. Since it looks like we all are going to die, let us hope and pray it more gentle and peaceful.
I have to agree with you Denny….When Mother died my older sister Sally was on one side of Mom holding her hand & I was on the other side holding the other hand.
This experience is ingrained in the memory of both my sister & I. Mom did not die alone, we comforted her but neither of us has ever cried so hard since.
I support you 110% in your efforts to convince others to quit ….as you said it ain`t pretty!
Denny, you, like everyone else, does not know when or, how one will die. For that matter, the leading cause of death, is birth.
And, quite frankly, if one has chosen within their circle of life, anyone who is not OK with how one chooses to live their life – they’ve fucked up.
AlphaDelta….I do not care about your choice to smoke, many do with impunity but Death has struck “Lung Cancer” a number of my family members & best friends. they all were confirmed Smokers.
You only have one family & damn few real friend, acquaintances are nice but they do not qualify as friends.When you lose family or real friends it is a loss you cannot replace & it hurts.
I hope you live a long cancer free life & I certainly do not wish you ill health.
One thing you posted is very true A former Smoker is the biggest critic for Smoking, they are driven to be usually by tragedy.
One of my favorite passion`s was once going to my friends tavern to tip a few & play Euchre…..Cant do it any more the smoke bothers me too much & my real friend is pushing up daisy`s in the Cemetery next door to the Tavern he once owned.
Yes, I have fond memories of him & those days as well as the hunting & fishing trips we shared but it is just not the same .
Dudley1, sincerely appreciate you not wishing death upon me, also completely understand your family/friend narrative – been there done that for multiple reasons involving >not< just smoking.
Bottom line, if it is the selfishness and dread of being left behind that haunts you, which you or anyone else has no control over, then only option remains is to die first.
That's it. Everybody dies.
More importantly, not your choice how others choose to live, legally.
Celebrate memories. You and, I will be one too.