From Karl U.

Hillary phoned the president’s office shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to the president, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed Hillary.

After some cajoling, the president’s assistant agreed to wake him up. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?” grumbled Trump.

“A Supreme Court Judge just died, and I want to take his place,” begged Hillary.

“Well, it’s OK with me if it’s OK with the mortuary,” replied President Trump.

A heavy metal pun from Thomas M.

Last Dust post.

Let’s see how Chaconne plays Scarlatti. She’s got such beautiful long slender fingers.

Another one from Pres. (more…)

I’m gonna give it to OJ Simpson for getting paroled. I was hoping the murderer would be in prison longer. I guess now that he’s getting out he can spend more time looking for the “real killer”. I wonder how many golf courses he will search?

From Ron and another reader.

Ron wrote a nice screed about failed comedian and now senator, Al Franken.

Ron on.

No rain. Big, bright, shiny thing in the eastern sky. Jeeeez, how do I handle that?

Well, maybe I’ll just pick on somebody. Haven’t done a parody bio in a while, and Al Franken is a worthy candidate. So . . . . .

Y’know . . . 1951 saw a lotta really bad stuff happen. Among the worst were the Midwest floods, one of those once-in-a-century things where all the creeks and rivers get up and wander around through fields and towns and houses . . . and that was the year when Rock’n’Roll got its official name, and the country’s morals haven’t been the same since . . . and it also saw the first time a movie got an “X” rating.

Shit happens. And one of the most disastrous things for human rights, Israel, and the US economy was the opening of the UN Headquarters building in Manhattan. What a friggin disaster THAT turned out to be.

Yeah, lotta stuff happened, but possibly the worst of all was the coagulation of miscellaneous protoplasm in NYC which was then harbored and nourished by an inconspicuous printer named Joe Franken and his equally unremarkable wife Phoebe, he a second-generation German- and she a second-generation Russian-Jew. They named it Alan, which derives from a Gaelic (Irish) word meaning “rock.”

In an attempt to escape from their mistake, Joe and Phoebe fled to Minnesota where Joe tried to open a quilting factory, but it failed, and Al followed them to Minneapolis. He sneaked into a local school where he managed to become a member of the groping team and like many other imposters attended Harvard, where he made off with a BA degree in a major which can lead to work only in very limited fields, such as fry cook, anonymous failure, and government-office holder.

With his boyhood friend Tom Davis, Franken began attempting performances in political satire, self describing that period as “a life of near-total failure on the fringes of show business in Los Angeles.”

In the 70s and 80s he became known as a failed writer and performer on Saturday Night Live, where he created such depressing and meaningless characters as Stuart Smalley. For entirely unknown reasons, he insisted upon proclaiming the 1980s as the Al Franken Decade. His employment at SNL was as depressing and meaningless as his characters, and he frequently found himself out of a job for various reasons, usually lack of talent and ill-fated attacks on Fred Silverman and NBC.

He admits to using nose candy while at SNL and left the show in a snit after losing the “Weekend Update” anchor job to Norm Macdonald. After that he continued writing books, which nobody liked, and wrote and starred in the movie Stuart Saves His Family, a monumental failure both critically and commercially.

He stole the FoxNews banner “Fair and Balanced” for his book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, and got some recognition from the theft and resulting lawsuit, which enhanced sales.

Franken got into his head the idea that conservatives dominated the public airwaves, so he launched The O’Franken Factor in 2004, later changing the name to The Al Franken Show when he realized that he was in for another lawsuit for copyright infringement. His purpose, he declared, was “I’m doing this because I want to use my energies to get Bush unelected,” which is exactly what he’s trying to do now with Trump.

Like most Democrats, Franken opposes anything introduced by anyone even one step right of center and believes that everyone in the country should have health care paid for by someone else, although he has no plan for funding that freebie. He also wants the amount of money available to college students to be greatly increased while the interest rates on their student loans drastically lowered. He has no idea how to pay for that, either.

Franken left the doomed Air America Radio by announcing his candidacy for the US Senate, a campaign which will live in infamy in the record of Minnesotans, placing them roughly in the same category as Swedish axehandles.

Al’s first love, entertainment, has ways been an unrequited situation. And as a senator he’s predictably more interested in being cute than doing what’s good for the country. In August 2010, Franken made faces and hand gestures and rolled his eyes while Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell delivered a speech in opposition to the confirmation of Elena Kagan to the U.S. Supreme Court. Franken’s actions prompted McConnell to remark, “This isn’t Saturday Night Live, Al.”

His modus operandi for those with whom he disagrees is ridicule, and he won his closely contested bid for the seat left open by Paul Wellstone’s death in a plane crash by demanding recounts until the numbers came out in his favor.

In July 2010, Minnesota Majority, a conservative watchdog group, conducted a study in which they flagged 2,803 voters for examination, including some 1,359 they suspected were ineligible convicted felons in the largely Democratic Minneapolis-St. Paul area who voted illegally in the Senate race. But since he’s a Democrat who strongly endorsed Obama, he was sworn into the Senate in 2009, despite both unfavorable arithmetic and unavailable qualifications.

Other than annoy people and steal banners and slogans from successful enterprises, I can’t find anything significant, or significantly positive, that he’s accomplished in his life, kinda like Soetoro.

Ron off.

Can’t say as I disagree with anything he’s written. What’s wrong with those people in Minnesota? First Jesse Ventura and now Al Franken.

Doctor Who has finally lost me. The next Doctor is gonna be a female. WTF? Doctor Who a woman? Yep! The SJWs have finally decided that viewership is no longer important. Of course, they’ve been headed this way for quite some time.
Ever since the reboot they’ve been cramming SJW BS down our throats, mainly in interracial relationships.

The Doctor’s first companion, Rose, who was white, had a black boyfriend. The next companion, Donna, who was white, was getting married to a black dude who turned out to be evil so the marriage never happened. Then his next companion, Martha, was black. They somehow messed up with Amy, the next companion, who was white and had a white boyfriend. He was kind of a wimp. When they married they took her last name. Anyway, she had a baby who was stolen from her, sent back in time, and became her best friend who was black. Maybe her white boyfriend wasn’t the father after all. His next companion, Clara, who was white, once again had a black boyfriend. His current companion, Bill, is once again a black female. In one episode, she was hit on by a white dude but she told him she liked girls so not only is she black but she’s a lesbian.

His archenemy, the Master, was regenerated as a female, Missy, so I guess it’s no surprise that they decided to regenerate the Doctor as a female. Now there will be two bitches fighting each other.

I predict this latest SJW BS is gonna kill the series. Too bad. The reboot had much better special effects than the original. Too bad they put SJWs in charge.

When I was in the Navy, I used to think that you went to college to learn to be stupid. Why? Because of some of the officers I served with. The Lieutenants and above weren’t too bad but the Ensigns and JG’s were dumb as rocks. One example was an Ensign on the USS Comstock, LSD-19 who plowed right through a sailboat race off the coast of San Diego.

Maybe they didn’t back then, but students sure do now. Everyday, we hear more examples of moonbat professors and the camel turds they are spouting. Here’s one.

A professor at The University of Iowa said appreciation of “white marble” used in classical artwork has created “white supremacist ideas today.”

So now statues are racist. I’m beginning to wonder what isn’t racist. Maybe they should give us a list.

Professor Sarah Bond indicated in a Hyperallergic article that “many of the statues, reliefs, and sarcophagi created in the ancient Western world were in fact painted,” and the “white marble” used in artwork were meant to be colored.

Bond also said that “the equation of white marble with beauty is not an inherent truth of the universe,” and therefore is “a dangerous construct that continues to influence white supremacist ideas today.”

So that means Michelangelo must have been racist when he created his David, Moses, Pieta and many other of his classic sculptures. By the way, the stuff that was painted were the clothes, the eyes, and the lips. The bodies were white. This professor is full of crap.

The professor also argues that “most museums and art history textbooks contain a predominantly neon white display of skin tone,” which “has an impact on the way we view the antique world.”

Since the Greeks and Romans were white, I would expect their statues to be white.

“The assemblage of neon whiteness serves to create a false idea of homogeneity — everyone was very white! — across the Mediterranean region,” she said, later saying that the misapprehensions of the classical era give “further ammunition for white supremacists today, including groups like Identity Europa, who use classical statuary as a symbol of white male superiority.”

Who was in charge when these classical statues were carved? Greeks and Romans. They were white!

“It may have taken just one classical statue to influence the false construction of race, but it will take many of us to tear it down,” Bond said. “We have the power to return color to the ancient world, but it has to start with us.”

Paint ’em all black. That will do it!

Campus Reform requested Bond to further explain her claims, to which she said that the “exalting of white (and unpainted) marble was then an 18th century construct.”

“The point is simply that Greeks and Romans actually added color to their art and thus white marble was often the canvas rather than the finished product,” she added. “The exalting of white (and unpainted) marble was then an 18th century construct of beauty rather than representative of the classical view. In any case, let me know if you would like to discuss this issue further.”

The point is you are a barking moonbat who doesn’t have a clue about what you are talking about.