This one is from Roman R. Alas, my friend Jeannella is no longer with us. Being from North Dakota and of Norwegian descent, she loved good Norwegian jokes. She would have loved this one.
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, ‘but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo …
… two test tickles.’
It takes a lot of balls to make that kind of pun !
Nah, just 2 per Elmo.
For some reason reminded me of the old joke about the racehorse who experienced pain because his nutsack bounced against his inner haunches when he ran.
His owner talked it over with him, and he loved competing so much that he agreed to have them surgically removed. As soon as he’d healed, he ran his fastest times ever in training. Beat his personal best by 9 seconds.
He was entered into the big race and expectations were high, but immediately after the gates opened and they’d run about 20 feet, the crowd gasped as a huge pileup of mangled horses and jockeys all over the track stopped the race and caused yelling, cursing, whinnying, and general pandemonium.
When the bruised horses and injured jockeys were finally extricated from the pile and the track was cleared. the owner went to his horse’s stall to find out what had happened.
“Oh, I felt great,” the horse said. “Strong, light on my feet, ready to go. Got into the gate and couldn’t wait for the bell.”
“So . . . .? What the hell happened?” the owner said, frustrated.
“Oh, well . . . the gate opened, I leaped out in front, and as soon as I heard the announcer’s voice say, ‘And . . . they’re off!!’ I got embarrassed and crossed my legs.”
Now that is funny
Dammit, Ron, I’m about the same age as you and that’s a new one to me. Just as good as Denny’s joke.
A Swedish couple named Sven & Hilda is visiting the United States & arrive in Detroit & while going thru Customs the Custom official notices Hilda is sling luggage around like nothing & that she was quite muscular & about 6 ft tall.
So…..He jokingly says man we could use you here , You could play with the Green Bay Packers ….Hilda says ….No Tank You Hilda only play with Sven`s Packer!
I grew up in Minnesota,this could very well have happened…